Table of contents:
- Who is this? I
- Why become tomboys? 2
- True story: "Boys were the personification of freedom for me" 3
Why do girls become tomboys? How do they live in society? We understand the terms and read the revelations of a girl who has come a long way to finding herself.
The content of the article
- 1 Who is this?
- 2 Why become tomboys?
- 3 True story: "Boys were the personification of freedom for me"
Who is this? I
Surely you have already heard about this term and seen girls who consider themselves tomboys. And this is ingrained in your head: tomboi is a girl who intentionally cuts her hair and dresses like a guy. There is some truth in this. But it's not just about boyish clothes or short haircuts.
In the sixteenth century, the term was used to describe rude and noisy boys. Something like the familiar word "tomboy". Nowadays, girls are called tomboys, whose external and behavioral traits, according to generally accepted norms, are suitable exclusively for guys.
"Can it be simpler?"
Can. By external and behavioral traits, we mean the following:
- Boys' clothing;
- The guy's habits, gestures, gait;
- Love for cars, sports, computer games;
- Dislike for cosmetics, dolls and other "girly" things (pink, dresses, skirts, etc.);
- Lack of troubles about appearance, slovenliness;
- Complete indifference to the typically feminine joys of life - motherhood, housekeeping, etc.
Some tomboys look emphatically masculine. Others simply choose loose-fitting clothing - no tight dresses or high heels.
There is also a misconception that all tomboys are lesbians. It's not like that at all.
Why become tomboys? 2
Is a girl born like this or becomes for some reason? Many are interested in this question. Some studies also show that girls who are exposed to male hormones in the womb are more likely to become tomboys in the future. Where is the truth and where is the lie?
The main factors of influence are as follows:
If a girl, growing up, does not see in her mother (or other female relatives) an example to follow, it is possible that in the future she will reject her femininity.
The girl looks at her mother and sees in her a victim who obeys her father. A strong, sociable, domineering father and a boring, quiet, faded mother - such a contrast leaves a certain imprint on the psyche of a little girl. The girl looks at her father and identifies with him, wants to be like him.
Femininity is not perceived as something "cool". Least of all in the world energetic and active girls want to turn into a servant, who only does what equips life and obeys her spouse. And they deliberately abandon stereotypical female roles.
It's not safe to be a woman in our society. Millions of girls experience physical or sexual violence at an early age. Fear and disgust for the opposite sex grow in them. Ironically, they begin to dress and act like their bully. Girls reject their femininity so they don't feel vulnerable.
They think, "If I act tough and dress like a guy, no man will see me as someone who can be raped or beaten."
Even as a child, the girl realizes that men have a number of privileges that are inaccessible to women. For example, when she listens to the complaints of friends and acquaintances of her parents, who say that they dream of a son. Or her brothers are given much more attention, care and affection, more hopes are pinned on them, and her parents seem not to notice. “I could not come to terms with the weakness, passivity and helplessness inherent in 'femininity', - says one of the girls.
Girls have watched from childhood as boys are freed from household chores and childcare. They are taught to strive for wealth and greatness, and not for the conduct of life and raising children.
Take Canada, Israel, or Australia. Girls in these countries lead an active lifestyle and no one would even think of calling them tomboys. They just are who they are - energetic, active, enterprising.
Now let's take Saudi Arabia. A girl's appearance and behavior must obey strict moral standards. If a girl does anything "unfeminine", she will be immediately labeled. Moreover, the “tomboy” label is the most harmless possible one.
Anyway, this can only be a certain phase in a girl's life. She is energetic, bold, curious and wants to take everything from life simply because she was born that way. And society is already in a hurry to hang a label on her: tomboy, tomboy, etc.
True story: "Boys were the personification of freedom for me" 3
“From nine to twenty years old, I bore the label of a tomboy, which was hung on me by others. And I just was myself and didn't think about any labels. The features of a tomboy began to appear in me, perhaps, at the age of five. I don’t remember how it started and why. Although I still have guesses on this score. I think I can guess what changed my thinking as a child and influenced my self-determination.
When I was a child, my father went on a journey for several years. He returned with gifts for me and my little sister. Most of the toys and things were boyish. Boots, Pants, T-shirts, Sega and PS1. My little sister was four years old and didn’t get excited about the game console - she wanted dolls and coloring books.
I was delighted with the console and constantly played it. And then male friends and relatives came to our house. Suddenly I lost access to the console - I was told not to interfere with the guys playing games that were not intended for girls.
Here's nine for me. My mother forbade my sister and me to play football with the boys in the yard. No, there were girls in the yard, but their mothers were also forbidden to play "rough" games. The girls were allowed out into the street only in order to carry out some small errands.
The boys ran around the yard, played football, rode bicycles and just fooled around, while we sat at home.
Now I understand that our mothers just wanted to protect their daughters in this way. But how it sucks when you are so limited in everything!
Primary school started. Here everything is exactly the same - the boys play football, and the girls sit in the stands. Girls' love of sports was not particularly encouraged. It feels like they only belong on a playground on a swing.
And the teachers? They preferred guys in everything, whether it was competition, competition, or whatever. It was the teachers who threw phrases like: "How could you let the girl get around you ??"
Boys were freedom for me. Free existence. Boys can roll on the ground, scratch their knees and just get dirty. They just could enjoy life. You cannot imagine how I wanted the same for myself. And the adults did not understand me.
Over the years, at the subconscious level, I became more and more a tomboy. Even the fact that I ended up in a girls' boarding school for five years did not stop me. On the contrary, it influenced me even more. By the end of school, I had become a tomboy completely.
I began to gradually move away from this image only in the third year of the university. And when they ask me if I am a tomboy, I have three options: "yes", "no" and "partly."