The Nature Of Cheating: Why A Faithful Partner Can Cheat

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The Nature Of Cheating: Why A Faithful Partner Can Cheat
The Nature Of Cheating: Why A Faithful Partner Can Cheat

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Video: How to Stay faithful In A Relationship and stop Yourself From Cheating ? animated video 2023, January
The nature of betrayal
The nature of betrayal

The nature of betrayal is still a mystery to scientists studying human nature. It does not happen by itself, there is a reason for it. Why do people cheat? Sometimes it's a matter of the person himself, in his feelings and life needs, while everything in relationships satisfies him. But problems can also lie within the couple.

The content of the article

  • 1 Prerequisites for treason
  • 2 Biology and genetics
  • 3 Human factor

Prerequisites for treason

Even the most loving and loyal man is capable of treason. According to anthropologists dealing with the biological nature of man, his origin, development, a predisposition to betrayal appeared in the course of evolution. In the brain, attachment, sexual desire, and romantic attraction control three different systems. As a result, it turns out that you can be in a relationship with one loved one, but feel attracted to another and, accordingly, have sex with him. There is no contradiction in this for the nervous system, everything is as it should be.

But biology, together with nature, has long since ceded a leading role to the moral norms established in society. From the point of view of ethics, betrayal is something out of the ordinary, not written out in the boundaries of decent. The polygamy on which all relations were built at the dawn of mankind and for a long time as it developed, is preserved only in a few traditional countries. Now the ball is ruled by monogamy as the only correct system of relationships between a man and a woman, and with them marriage.

On the other hand, right now in society there is a certain cult of free relationships and unrestricted sexual relations, which, nevertheless, is condemned by the majority. The sexual revolution, women's emancipation, even the development of the economy and industry had a strong influence on such a worldview. People, especially women, have become more independent economically.

If in the past marriage was considered from the point of view of benefits, because of inheritance, land, dowry, preservation and improvement of the gene pool (although then they did not know such a word), and it was easier to run a household when the family is large. Now the choice of a life partner is not approached so pragmatically, not all and not always, of course, but love and personal sympathy are at the fore

nature of betrayal
nature of betrayal

The opinion that the main reason for cheating lies in the relationship within the couple is wrong. It is not uncommon when everything is fine in them, and difficulties begin after. In fact, this is influenced by many factors that do not depend on the partner who has been cheated on. Therefore, he should not blame himself for what happened, at least not always.

One of the most common reasons is the very existence of the opportunity to go left. So, psychologists believe that most often the cheaters are those who have a lot of personal free time, which is spent without a second half, who work in large companies, communicate with a large number of people, and often travel.

It is worth mentioning the opportunity to look for a suitable person for as long as you like. But this does not mean that a person will necessarily change, if there is a chance, he does not always lead to betrayal, but only pushes. You should not limit your partner, forbid him to communicate with friends, spend time alone, for example. A person will simply become unhappy, want to break free and can do what he had not planned before.

reasons for betrayal
reasons for betrayal

Moreover, not always something depends on him. Even the body itself is capable of pushing for treason.

Biology and genetics2

Certain hormones and neurotransmitters affect a person's propensity to cheat.


During sex, the "pleasure hormone" is produced - the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is responsible for motivation, reward, and learning. He, as scientists have found, affects romantic relationships, and also causes a predisposition to cheating.

Dopamine is not only a reward hormone, it is one of those who create addictions, which can include love. When one of the couple behaves in a certain way, doing those actions that please his partner, then the partner's brain considers this a kind of reward, an achievement. When the behavior of a loved one changes, the brain is not satisfied, which means that it does not receive its portion of dopamine. It must be replenished, then the search for another source begins. In fact, due to this hormone, passion arises, which gradually fades away if not supported.

During the release of a neurotransmitter, it is taken up by dopamine receptors. There are only five of them, depending on the coding of the genes: D1, D2, D3, D4 and D5. With some gene variation, the D4 receptor influences infidelity tendencies.

why change
why change

Oxytocin and vasopressin

Both of these hormones are responsible for a person's social behavior, including attachments and relationships with others. Oxytocin was once thought to be only responsible for how parents relate to their children. Later it turned out that it is also produced in lovers when close, bodily contact occurs between them. Therefore, when a couple begins to physically move away from each other, hug less, kiss, hold hands, have sex, its production decreases, and with it attachment weakens.

As for vasopressin, here again the process is governed by variations in genetic codes that affect the propensity to cheat, and only in women.

Human factor3

Physiology and social processes are, of course, important, but the matter is not always only in them. There are many other factors that cause people to cheat on one another.

Unmet needs

It happens that the partner really does not satisfy personal needs, sexually, emotionally, in communication. A person just lacks something in the relationship that he already has. Some dare to tell the other half about this in order to find a way to solve the problem together. Others choose to cheat, often unconsciously, because they want different sensations, and cheating just can give them.

sort out treason
sort out treason

Some people need to constantly be at the top to be praised, adored, evaluated only positively, in no case reproached for anything, and even more so, not scolded. Narcissists must be pleased in everything, if this does not happen, if they feel that they are underestimated in a couple, there is a need to assert themselves. The partner cannot satisfy the desire, but others can. A few compliments from a person can turn into sympathy, which can lead to cheating.

Another need is to be with someone, to receive attention. A loved one is constantly busy with work or something else, and the other begins to feel lonely. Everything can start with a banal friendship, which grows into something more. It is not necessary to start a romantic relationship, the person will still love their partner, but sleep with another. By the way, sometimes cheating is a way to diversify life and allay boredom.


Internal anxiety can lead to cheating for several reasons:

internal anxiety
internal anxiety
  • People who are prone to anxiety need support. First of all, they expect it from the closest person, and if they do not find a response, then they continue to search elsewhere.
  • Fear of being left alone, because everything will go wrong, that the loved one will leave, betray, disappoint. By making a connection on the side, such a person, as it were, insures himself, creating an opportunity, in which case, escape and not be alone. This is not sex for one night, but almost a full-fledged relationship parallel to the first.

Fear of attachment

Not everyone is ready for the commitment that is part of a romantic relationship. They are afraid to open up even to a loved one, to share their feelings with someone else. They need a "cold shower" to put their thoughts in order, to calm down the raging emotions. Walking to the left will be just such a kick, completely normal for him.

Age crisis

Crossing a certain age line, new fears and desires begin to wake up in a person. By cheating, you can try to drive away thoughts of aging or want to get more love, attention, warmth. The same applies to a crisis in marriage after several years of marriage.

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