Online Dating: This Shouldn't Be Allowed On A First Date

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Online Dating: This Shouldn't Be Allowed On A First Date
Online Dating: This Shouldn't Be Allowed On A First Date

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Video: How to stop swiping and find your person on dating apps | Christina Wallace 2023, January
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Online dating
Online dating

Dating on the Internet has not surprised anyone for a long time, and now it is one of the most popular ways to find not only a person for a pleasant pastime, but also for a serious, long-term relationship. Some even manage to create a family, so we can say with confidence that this method of dating is no worse than any other.

The content of the article

  • 1 Don't expect too much
  • 2 First glance solves nothing
  • 3 Honesty and simplicity
  • 4 Do not tolerate inappropriate behavior
  • 5 Choosing the right place is half the battle
  • 6 Safety on the first date

However, there are some nuances to remember. What not to do if you are planning a first date after meeting on the Internet.

Don't expect too much i

“Their gazes met and they immediately and for the rest of their lives fell in love with each other” … This of course can be, but expecting what exactly today and on this very date is a dangerous mistake. In addition, even after several weeks of active correspondence and the full feeling that a person is 100% his own, severe disappointment can come.

A photo can be embellished (few who dare to upload not very good photos), and with “live” communication, a person cannot connect two words, although he amazed with wit and erudition during correspondence.

First Look Decides Nothing2

If you don't like it at first sight you need to give it a second chance. It happens that a person does not get enough sleep or is tired, or simply the mood is not right or is embarrassed too much. There can be a lot of circumstances, and a person is not a machine to always be at his best. Therefore, if there are no obvious defects of mental and social development in the form of rudeness, rudeness, impudence, cheeky behavior, sexism, then there should be a second chance, and sometimes even a third.

You must also give a chance if you liked the person as a whole, but there is no storm of emotions, passions and “butterflies in the stomach”. Of course, when the goal of acquaintance is "butterflies", heat and storm - then you can not go on a second date. But when you want a serious relationship, then unnecessary emotions can only hurt.

Passion can interfere with an objective assessment of a person's merits and demerits, and emotions force them to do rash acts. In addition, couples where feelings did not flare up immediately, but arose gradually, usually stronger and the relationship is more emotional. Unlike those that were created under the influence of "chemistry".

not allowed on the first date
not allowed on the first date

Honesty and Simplicity3

You don't need to seem like a different person, to portray something, to say something different from your soul and thoughts. This often happens if you really want to make an impression or not frighten ahead of time. This is the path to nowhere - deception will surely open. Therefore, the truth must be started to speak even during correspondence, and at a personal meeting, it must be said again.

What does this mean in practice? If you want a stable relationship - say it right away, just easy, non-binding meetings - say it too. If the goals of dating and communication do not coincide, you need to find out about this as soon as possible. You will find more information about dating serious men in our article further down the link.

Do not tolerate inappropriate behavior4

Patience, of course, is a serious virtue that you need to cultivate in yourself in every possible way, but with regard to behavior on the first date, there should be no patience or compromises. Rudeness, sexism, disregard, rudeness, harassment - all these moments say a lot about a person and it is foolish to hope that if the acquaintance is longer and stronger, changes will surely come. It will only get worse.

The fact is that with strangers and unfamiliar people there is an unconscious desire to seem better than it really is. If a person, for the sake of the first impression, did not consider it necessary to hide these characteristics, then it is not worth continuing to communicate. This behavior suggests that he does not care about the opinions of others or, even worse, he is proud of them.

date with a gentleman from the internet
date with a gentleman from the internet

Choosing the right location is half the battle5

The first date after dating via the Internet is usually used in order to get to know a person better and compare how the image created on the Internet corresponds to reality. Therefore, it is better to refuse to go to the cinema, theater or concert right away. Learning something new about a person who stares at the screen or the stage all evening is quite problematic.

It is better to exclude too exotic places like a rope park or a trampoline park. There, under the influence of adrenaline and unusual surroundings, you can learn a lot of unexpected things not only about your partner, but also about yourself. Therefore, the best option is a cafe or a walk in the park.

The main thing is that the park is not too secluded, and the cafe is not on the outskirts of the city. Why? The answer to the question can be found in Safety on the First Date.

Safety on the first date6

Even if the intense and sometimes frank correspondence created the illusion that the person is close and familiar, this is just an illusion. This person in real life may not be at all, or he will not be what he seemed during the correspondence. Therefore, you need to immediately decide - it can be anyone, which means you need to be afraid of him as a completely unfamiliar subject, until the opposite is proven.

You cannot invite a stranger and little-known person home. Going home to such a person is also dangerous. Therefore, the first rule - meetings only on neutral territory. It is advisable not to advertise exactly where the place of residence is, and if an offer has been received to bring to the place of meeting - to agree, but to appoint a rendezvous point not at the very entrance, but nearby.

date after dating on the internet
date after dating on the internet

The meeting place should be quite crowded, again for security reasons. In public places, it's easier to ask for help if something goes wrong. For the same reason, it is better to avoid walking along shady alleys and abandoned parks. It is better to go to the forest for a picnic when a person is already familiar enough.

Despite the seeming ease, online dating imposes additional difficulties in establishing real communication. In real life, pretending not to be who you are is harder and less opportunity for hoaxes and deception. But the Internet is a fertile ground for scammers. Therefore, caution and discretion will never be excessive.

For more information on how to meet on the Internet, read our article further on the link.

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