Fantasies About Other Partners - Mental Betrayal Or Routine?

Do you know how one statistical study surprised sexologists? It turned out that more than 45% of women and about 40% of men during sex represent their partners in place of other people. Yes, yes, dear reader, most likely you do this, and if not, then your girlfriend dreams of others. However, one should not blame each other for this, because experts are sure that such fantasies are a common, normal and completely healthy phenomenon, which does not at all indicate a desire to change. And in this article we will try to figure out how it works.

The content of the article

• 1 Why do we need an imaginary partner?
• 2 Lack of novelty
• 3 So there is no cause for concern in such fantasies?
• 4 Away from boredom, give variety!

Why do we need an imaginary partner? I

Of course, having such thoughts in your loved one can negatively affect your relationship, and even make you doubt the sincerity of his feelings. Why is this happening? Psychologists have a pretty convincing answer to this question, although not everyone can accept it.

The fact is that, despite all our beliefs to the contrary, often we ourselves do not know what we want. Moreover, the process of introspection, especially when it comes to sexual desires, is a complex, lengthy and not always effective process. We risk getting bogged down in endless self-examination rather than clearly highlighting our desires and their reasons. Add to this the halo of shame, taboo and shyness that the topic of sex is associated with in our culture and you get a sad result: it is much easier to fantasize in your head than to share your thoughts with your partner, and then make excuses for them.

There is no need to make excuses in front of an imaginary partner. He will not condemn, there is no shame in front of him, and there is no need to dig himself with him. However, this is far from the only reason why we fantasize about others. What else are there?

Lack of novelty2

In a long-term relationship, partners get used to each other. The positive result of this habit is mutual understanding and trust, the negative is the lack of novelty, which they begin to look for in fantasies. To experience new, unique sensations by imagining someone else in the place of a partner is a simple and natural method. Moreover, often these imaginary partners are people with whom we are not familiar at all, like movie stars, photo models, famous athletes. Or even fictional characters from movies, cartoons or comics!

Fantasies like these have a beneficial effect on relationships, allow them to be novel and leave your sex an erotic adventure, not a regular fulfillment of marital duty. When both routine and monotony have a detrimental effect on relationships.

So there is no cause for concern in such fantasies?

Not really. If your every intercourse is accompanied by fantasies about others, this is a reason to think. It's one thing when these fantasies come up only occasionally, and quite another when they become obsessive, and you constantly imagine someone else instead of your partner. This situation cannot be called normal.

What went wrong? Perhaps this painful relationship has not pleased you for a long time, and your imagination is trying to save you from not the most pleasant intimacy? Maybe it’s a hidden grudge against your partner, because of which you don’t want to see him? Or has sex become so boring and monotonous that the world of sexual fantasies seems more and more attractive in comparison with reality? It will not be so easy to understand yourself, and if you cannot find the answer to this question, try to contact a specialist. A professional psychologist knows how to help a person look inside himself and find answers.

Away from boredom, give variety! 4

If constant fantasies about imaginary partners have become a problem for you, you can solve it yourself. There are many ways to add variety to your relationship, and we have many articles on this topic on our site. Only you know the method suitable for you, and we will only try to suggest some.

If another person appears more and more in your partner's place, why not try role-playing games? Try on the outer image of a person who you are not. It can be a game of a nurse and a patient, and a guard and a prisoner, or even dressing up in superhero costumes and joint crime fighting. No, the latter is best done in your imagination, but the real criminals should still be left to the police. Find in yourself the talent of reincarnation, try not only the outer appearance, but also the inner world of another hero, become one for a while. Many couples find these kinds of sexual practices exciting and refreshing in their relationship.

If you don't feel like changing yourself, change your environment. If all your bedding comes down to a sluggish exchange of caresses on the same couch, try making love somewhere else. Even in an apartment, this can be done in the kitchen or just on the floor, but no one bothers you to go to nature or rent a romantic room for two in a good hotel.

Feel free to experiment and your morbid fantasies will soon recede, replaced by a healthy sexual interest in new and unknown areas that you explore together!