Table of contents:
You feel embarrassed and frustrated because you don't know why he never writes first, but always responds when you write to him. You wonder if he is interested in talking to you or is he just trying to be polite. To understand this situation, you need to clarify it.
The content of the article
1 12 reasons why he doesn't text you first
Do you keep in touch with him, and he always wrote to you first and suddenly stopped doing it? Or have you recently met and write to him yourself, in the hope that over time you will switch roles?
If you are dating and he stops texting you, it could be a red flag.
But don't jump to conclusions, pay attention to the context and other details, because this will help you better understand what is happening with it. You do not need to immediately rush to extremes, deciding that he no longer needs you. Things can get a little more complicated.
A guy in a relationship may stop texting first when he's worried about something.
There are internal and external factors that can be responsible for this behavior.
External factors relate to all other elements outside of your relationship (his work, family, friends, hobbies, etc.).
Internal factors are related to your relationship, and it is best to rewind all past events and try to find something unusual in his behavior towards you.
If you are not sure, you can ask his friends to help you with this, but be careful not to overdo it, because this way you can make him angry, instead of solving the problem.
How to find out what's the matter? To distinguish the outside from the inside, pay attention to his current behavior towards you, body language, whether he is disappointed with something, and so on.
Men are very good at one thing - ignoring, letting us know that they are worried about something.
When they are upset about something that happened at work or in the family, the first thing they do is hide in their cave.
When they tell you what worries them, they fear they will be vulnerable in front of you. They want to be alone and forget to write, but when you write, they will act like everything is fine, because they don't want you to worry about them.
12 Reasons He Doesn't Text You First
He may have other priorities now
This means that he is interested in you, but at the moment he has other priorities, and after he has dealt with them, he will return to you.
Other priorities: his job, family, pet, friends, or the like.
The most confusing part is that he won't tell you what's going on in his life because he doesn't want you to worry about him.
He is aware of the fact that he cannot make you his number one priority at the moment until he is done with what he is doing.
If you feel it is appropriate, you can just try asking him what is going on in his life and if there is something he would like to share with you.
If he continues to refuse to speak, reassuring you that everything is okay, but he just needs some time for himself, that means you shouldn't worry because he will come back when he’s sorted out.
He is interested in you, but also in others
Similar to the first point, but the main difference is that his priorities are other girls and not some other things that he can deal with.
Guys sometimes prioritize based on how hard-to-reach you are.
And, in their opinion, if you behave this way, then you must be that little thing (which does not have to be so).
If potential girls don't take the first steps, they are likely to be a priority, by the same logic that they are not readily available, and he will have to write to them first to get hold of.
He will not write to you himself, because he knows that you will do it, and therefore does not worry about it. But that does not mean that he is not interested in you. But he is also interested in others, and it will take some time until he understands exactly what he is doing and what results he wants.
He is not sure about his feelings for you
When a guy is unsure of his feelings, he will withdraw, and this withdrawal means that he needs time to process his feelings and admit to himself how he treats you.
Perhaps he was injured before and now he is afraid of the feelings.
He does not want to open up to you because he is afraid that you will use him like someone in his past.
That is why he will try not to write first, because it will confuse him even more. But when you write to him yourself, he may try to ignore, only to realize that he cannot, and if he does not answer, he will ruin everything.
And so, he sends a response, but after a couple of minutes, he again finds that he is considering his feelings for you.
It is an endless circle of confusion, unspoken feelings and anticipation. It is best to ask him personally about his intentions.
He doesn't like correspondence, but he likes you
This may sound contradictory. But the point is, a lot of guys don't like text messages at all.
They see correspondence as a way to share simple information, schedule dates, appointments, or emergency messages when you can't call someone.
They reason that there is no point in messages that have nothing to do with organizing the meeting.
If he tells you this, know that it is 100% true, and you must accept it as it is.
If you try to force him to change, he will feel pressure that he doesn't need. Just leave him alone and things will get better over time.
He's too busy to think about sending a message first
Perhaps your boyfriend is hardworking and the only thing he can think about is his job and what he has to do during the day.
These guys really don't have time to text, but if they really like you, they'll take the time to call you back.
They don't ignore you because they want to. This is due to the specifics of their work, their schedule or all of their meetings.
If a guy does one thing, he won't be able to think about anything else until he finishes what he started.
He plays hard-to-reach
Exactly. Some guys play this game. He wants to feel wanted and he makes you work hard to get him, which is why he deliberately avoids writing first. But he can never fail to answer.
He will always try to answer in order to give you a little more of himself and you want more.
This is how some men work. They want you to do all the work while he lies back, waiting to enjoy the fruits of your hard work.
The truth is that if he plays in the hard-to-reach, it means that he is not that interested. The only person he is interested in is himself.
By doing this, he is trying to satisfy his ego and make you feel less valuable. Always be careful with such men.
He does not write first because he knows that you will
Some guys are just lazy when it comes to texting. It is not difficult for them and they have time to write first, but they simply refuse to do it, because they know you will take on this responsibility.
And they stick to this selfish lazy routine and let you do all the work.
So, he may like you, but he will never write to you himself, because he does not even think about it.
He knows that no matter what he does, you will always get to him first, and therefore he feels comfortable in this position of inaction.
Try to ignore him for a while and he will realize that there is something wrong with his behavior. After all, tango takes two, not one.
He's afraid of commitment
If he never writes to you himself, but is happy to answer your messages, he may simply be afraid of responsibility.
When a guy is afraid of commitment, he will behave incomprehensibly and slightly annoy you with things like not texting you first.
There are many reasons why a guy might shy away from commitment. It could be because he doesn't want to lose his freedom, or he feels that you are going too far into his personal space.
Now you're probably thinking: if that's the reason, then why would he even reply to my messages?
This is because he is not 100% sure that he is afraid of commitment, another part of his brain tells him that he should answer and see how things go.
It's best to wait and let him weigh the pros and cons of his involvement in your life.
He worries that he's not so good at texting
Not all guys are confident and straightforward when it comes to online communication.
Some guys are really worried to write first. That's why they choose the safest option of all: letting you do it yourself. Then they will simply answer and hope for the best.
Especially if he really likes you, the pressure will be even higher. You have to somehow try to get him to be more open to you, and as soon as he begins to feel that he has something personal to tell you or ask for advice, he will become easier to text correspondence.
He wants to look spontaneous
Unlike playing the hard-to-reach, being direct is a different scheme. It means that he doesn't want to feel obligated to write to you when you expect him to.
He wants you to stay at ease and not count how many times he first wrote to you, or how many times you wrote to him yourself.
Obviously, he is not in a relationship, but that does not mean that he is inspired by you. Although, even if he is elated, he can still play with you at ease.
Maybe he was in several relationships before you, and now he wants to relax a little until he gets tired.
He will always answer you because obviously he wants to stay in touch with you, but he also wants you to know that he is not ready for anything big.
He just wants to have a good time with you, but if it escalates into something more, he can reconsider his policy of communicating with you and start writing first, without waiting for you to do it.
He is not interested in you
Some guys are just not interested in you, but will respond because they want to be polite.
Additional clues - he answers in monosyllables or finds excuses and excuses when you call to the movies or take a walk. This is a clear sign that he is not interested in you, but will keep answering because he thinks this is the right attitude.
Obviously, he is not being blunt or simply afraid to upset you.
Whatever the reason, it really isn't fair for someone to give you false hope.
Again, you can try to stop texting for a while to see if anything changes.
If not, then know that it's time to leave it and write to someone else who will be very happy not only to answer you, but also to write first.
He's an introvert
If your boyfriend is an introvert, most likely, he will not be able to take all the initiative in correspondence at first, his introverted nature does not allow him. Unlike extroverts, introverts have a hard time opening up to others. They prefer to remain inactive until someone knocks on their door / sends them a message.
There is no need to condemn such people, because it is not their fault. The more they get carried away with you, the more they will worry. They will worry even when they have to reply to your message, because they are afraid of being hit in the dirt.
They want you to understand that they have difficulties in opening their inner world to you, and if they answer with some strange texts, it is because they think too much about how to answer correctly.