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Video: Can You Love Two At The Same Time? Psychology For Women And Men
Love and fidelity are two concepts that go together inseparably. Society is used to thinking that humans are monogamous. But this statement is fundamentally wrong. The person is polygamous. And loyalty is imposed by morality and religious dogmas. That is why every third inhabitant of the planet falls into a love triangle and thinks: is it possible to love two.
The content of the article
- 1 What is love
- 2 How the second appears
- 3 How to live in a triangle
- 4 Parallel world
What is love?
First, you need to repeat what most people already know: the basic types of love.
- Eros. Passion, devotion, frantic attraction of bodies. The lovers are sure that they are two halves who have found each other.
- Ludus. This is a toy love. The attitude towards the partner is light, there is little responsibility. Love is perceived as entertainment. The person directly says: "I am a player on the field of love!"
- Mania. Obsession, jealousy, passion and fear of losing a loved one. It can be a very hard feeling. Such love is called "sick" or "toxic".
- Pragma. The very definition makes it clear that such love is practical. And not only from the material point of view, but also from the emotional side. People who know exactly what they want from a partner are prone to this feeling.
- Agape. Pure altruism. Perhaps the highest degree of love. The interests of a loved one are always above their own.
- Storge. Like agape, it stands on a high level. Love. A partner is not only a loved one, but also a best friend.
Each type of love is closely intertwined with each other. And over time it can change: smoothly transition from one to the other. But in order to understand what feelings actually arose, you need to delve deeply into yourself. Everyone can say about himself that he has experienced almost all these psychotypes of love.
Teenagers often experience ludus, young people eros and mania, mature couples are formed on the basis of pragma, and the older generation often build relationships on agape or storga. And this is where the dog is buried: different feelings arise towards different people. Each time you meet a new person, you can say that you have never loved anyone like that. And this is really pure water. So is it possible to love two at once? The answer is simple: you can! And that's why…
How the second appears2
The very concept of treason is very vague. In theory, it does not exist in the sense in which everyone is used to seeing it. Treason is possible only for the homeland. But in a relationship - no. The reader can now start throwing slippers or spitting at the monitor screen, but, unfortunately, this is so. Everything lies in the psychotypes of love, which were discussed above.
People find it difficult to piece together a coherent image of the right person. But the requirements are usually the same: reliability, stability, understanding and other things that will allow you to create a pair. But loyalty is from a different opera. By the way, for your information: in eastern countries, polygamy is allowed. And there is no betrayal. Simply because a man can have multiple wives. His responsibility is different: try to feed them all! But, what is strange: in Muslim countries there were practically no sexually transmitted diseases. But Europe was choking on them. That is why Christianity so advocated for one partner. For then you could be confident in your health. But this is not about infidelity, this is a topic for another article.
Often the couple lives in a rather lopsided relationship. For some they are toxic, for others they are manic, and for others they are very pragmatic. But emotional hunger makes itself felt. A person will always want to experience the full range of feelings. And when there is a deficit of emotions, a competitor appears. And he is the exact opposite of what is happening at the moment. For example: a couple lives in pragma love. It seems that everything suits: the house is full, the spouses are raising smart children, the wife is beautiful, the husband is reliable as a rock. And what else is needed? And you need trembling in the knees and butterflies in the stomach.
It's boring to live only pragmatically. And then he or she appears with his cheerfulness, eccentricity, playfulness, romanticism. All this is at the highest level. It is difficult to resist such an influx of completely new, but so necessary emotions. And then the baggage appears in the form of a feeling of guilt for trying to sit on two chairs. But is it worth bothering so much and how to live in the existing triangle? Yes Easy. The main thing is to approach this issue correctly.
How to live in a triangle3
Now you shouldn't tear your throat with a cry that powdering your partner's brains is mean, you don't have to convulse in an attempt to prove the axiom about two birds with one stone, you don't need to force anyone to make a choice. You need to learn to live in parallel universes.
Rule one: no panic
Don't let your conscience gnaw your soul all the time. What happened was a normal process. Normal! Lack of emotion played to its fullest. But you don't need to run to everyone with a story about your ordeals. This is a secret, because society is not ready to normally perceive such a perdimonocol as love for two people at once. You just need to sort it out and exhale: everything that is not done is for the better.
Rule two: debriefing
Now, when conscience and guilt are sitting in the attic of souls behind a special door under seven seals, we need to figure out why this happened. To do this, it is worth rereading the above. One caveat: we are talking about a triangle, a relationship that lasts for a single year. An affair at a corporate party is not included here: just drunk sex, for which you can then be ashamed, lust, nothing more.
Rule three: acceptance of the situation
Having figured out the reasons, you need to think about this - personal comfort. It is difficult to maneuver between two shores endlessly. It is necessary to clearly realize that the partner is unlikely to want to share a loved one with someone else, which means that you will have to make every effort to keep the secret.
Then you need to determine for yourself all the pros and cons. We must assume that if the relationship has exhausted itself and love for a partner has long been buried under the stove of everyday life, then there is no need to figure it out: you can get out of this relationship. But, if there is something to love a person for and he is not disgusting, if there is a good material base and there is something to lose, then isn't it easier to create another world? After all, what can happen?
In pursuit of new emotions, the head turns off. For example: there was a woman. Everything was abundant, but boring. A cheerful brutal man appeared in a vest and blew the young lady's head clean. She ran away from her boring husband to this merry fellow. And life began: a new one on the farm about nothing, he can't hammer in a nail, he doesn't have enough money for socks, at home the entrance yard is an endless crowd of the same cheerful friends. Well, it was worth leaving to him ?! I came on a date, had fun with all my heart, broke away, and ran back into the safe hands of her legal spouse.
What about the man? I met a young woman who agrees to everything and is a witch in bed. And the wife is so, "a modest log." And the little man decided that the new burglar was also a craftswoman in another. But it was not there: only night races and can arrange. As a result, the man has alimony, he has no housing, no borscht, but his eggs are empty. Do you need it ?! Isn't it easier to play around, throw off excess from the testicles, and go home to the cherished cutlets?
No, all this is unreasonable. You need to accept the situation in the form in which it exists and stop treating yourself with remorse.
Living in parallels is difficult, but possible. But only a wise and conscious person can do this. This universe abhors selfishness and possessiveness. The second person is a generator of emotions that is lacking in a legal marriage. Yes, it sounds like a consumer, but nonetheless. Is it possible to love two? Yes! But only wisely. And then happiness is possible even in such a difficult situation.
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