The Guarantee Of A Successful Relationship Is The Nature Of The Partner

The main part of any dating is to attract a partner of interest. But as soon as this happens, we have another task before us - to understand whether it is worth maintaining the relationship. Sometimes sexologists and psychologists refer to this process as "testing" or "probationary period".

The content of the article

• 1 What are we looking for and what it gives
• 2 Self-control and discipline as the key to success in love
• 3 Amount of attention
• 4 Ability to delay gratification
• 5 Ability to plan
• 6 Motivation for achievement

What are we looking for and what does it give i

Most people have at least a rough idea of what they are looking for in a potential partner. There are those who have a detailed list of the required qualities and attributes. However, will these qualities really become the key to a successful relationship, if we take the long term?

The point is that there may be several critical items missing from our list of traits. We can find out that they are important only after talking with a person for several weeks (or even months or years). Sometimes we can look in new partners for absolutely different qualities that are really important to us. Fortunately, to sort out all this, scientists are doing their own research.

Self-control and discipline as the key to success in love 2

For example, in 2011 alone, the American journal "Personality and Social Psychology" published four articles on how a person's self-control and conscientiousness influence the quality of their relationships.

In three of these studies, scientists found that a person's ability to control themselves is one of the important factors in terms of staying true to their partner. Apparently, those people who are able not to break the diet and deny themselves a juicy hamburger are able to resist the temptation in case of flirting.

It was also found that the partners of people with a high level of self-discipline trust such people much more. Thus, this character trait can be considered fundamental for building a relationship that is safe for both partners.

Conscientiousness is a personality trait, akin to self-discipline. Four studies found that self-control and conscientiousness are key to fulfilling promises to a partner. As for the very fact of having feelings in relation to a person, they do not guarantee that the promise will be kept.

Thus, regardless of love, it is not feelings that play a decisive role in a relationship. This, of course, is contrary to common sense. But if you want to find a really good partner, and not anxiety that drives you crazy, there are a few more important features to your attention.

Attention3

Self-discipline is used by us to direct attention in the right direction. That is why from the very beginning of your acquaintance try to notice how your new passion is attentive to you. Keep track of how this person is disciplined in other things. Does he or she pay attention to small details? Are you trying to achieve success at work? Or is she constantly distracted? If a person is distracted, his ability to self-control is poorly developed.

Ability to delay gratification4

Self-discipline also allows you to postpone what you want until it becomes acceptable. If your new friend is worried that he will have dinner half an hour later, you should pay attention to this. And if he or she has huge credit card debts - most likely, this person has a lot of patience.

Ability to plan5

A conscientious person is able to make a plan and stick to it. Not that these plans should take up the entire diary. However, they must contain at least some general idea.

And on the contrary, there are people who do not plan anything and live like children. At first, their spontaneity captivates; but then it becomes a real problem.

Motivation to achieve 6

People with a high level of self-control are capable of doing their job to the end. This does not mean that they are all geniuses and multimillionaires. However, a reliable person always finishes what they start - even if it takes months or years. In contrast, chronic talkers and loafers hang your ears with promise noodles. But the relationship with you will most likely become their next project that has not been brought to mind.

So, feelings alone, and even more so one physical attraction for a good relationship is not enough. Look for the characteristics described in new acquaintances, and you will certainly succeed in finding a worthy partner.