Table of contents:
Any couple sooner or later realizes that they simply do not have enough knowledge to build an ideal family. They lack experience in dealing with difficult family situations, they do not know what to do in order to preserve their family and strengthen their marriage. The psychology of family relations comes to the aid of inexperienced people, which opens their eyes to sometimes obvious solutions to certain problems.
The content of the article
- 1 Starting a relationship
- 2 Family life
- 3 Educational question
The family is not just a social organization. This union is a complex relationship in which you need to make the right and balanced decisions so that life together does not bring problems, but leads to happiness, prosperity and joy.
The beginning of a relationship
Most often, there are two options for starting a relationship - protracted and rapid. Each of them has certain characteristics and lays different foundations for future relationships. Moreover, each of these types of initial stages for relationships carries its own difficulties and has its own consequences. And everyone needs to know about them who wants to build an excellent and strong relationship with their partner.
The first type of relationship start is protracted. Many people are familiar with it either from their own experience, or from the experience of someone they know or close people. This period is characterized by the fact that feelings and attractions for a person are formed for a long time. This can happen with both familiar people and strangers. A person in love can cultivate love for someone for weeks, months, or even years.
And the longer he does this, the more it can affect his life. Often, such people can keep their feelings secret for one reason or another. Due to the inability to confess, due to fear of the consequences or due to other reasons, they will constantly be in a state of stress and depression. There is no need to talk about the detrimental effect of such a long-term condition on physical and mental health.
Psychologists unequivocally recommend that people who have feelings for another person for a long time get rid of this burden as soon as possible. You need to admit it to him, get this or that answer, survive the consequences and move on. Either already together as a family, or separately, but with a sense of their own freedom.
It is worth learning to control your feelings and pay attention to the reaction of the object of love. Usually, it is quite easy to understand from him whether he is really interested in a relationship with a person in love with him. This is especially noticeable in the long term.
For example, if a man cares for a girl, gives her gifts, shows her attentions, she accepts them, but does not let him come closer for a long time, then she is very likely just taking advantage of her or pleasing her ego.
It is necessary to put all the points as soon as possible and achieve certainty in the situation, even if you have to put pressure on the person. It would be better than spending months and years in a state of uncertainty. Such a step may be painful, but nevertheless it will be the right decision to improve your own life, which will be very important for a confident and valued person.
The second type of relationship start is rapid. Love at first sight, a strong attraction to a stranger … People are familiar with these phenomena. This period can be characterized by a strong love and sexual attraction to a person who experiences the same in return.
Often these feelings become the reason for starting a relationship or even starting a family, but soon they pass and people are faced with a choice if it was only a short but very strong love. They must choose - to live with a person for whom they have no feelings, or to leave him and live on.
Many relationships that started quickly also end quickly. Psychologists usually advise not to rush if a person has strong feelings (almost reaching the point of fanaticism) for his beloved. It is important to wait out this stage and not do something that people will regret in the future.
And there will be a lot to regret - in this state, lovers can abandon their friends, relatives, abandon all their aspirations and goals, or, even more often, spend a considerable amount of money on a wedding that will soon be canceled.
If after the fall in love is gone, there are no feelings, then it is better to just break up and admit that it was just a hobby. But if falling in love leaves behind a real, strong and obviously long-term love - then people, of course, are very lucky.
But even if they live for several years with this feeling in a relationship, sooner or later someone may come up with the idea that he "has not walked up yet." Not a single relationship is immune from this, no matter how strong they seem from the outside.
One way or another, people come to the fact that they create a family and want to support and develop it. In addition to all the delights of living together, spouses encounter stresses and problems of a different nature: personal, intimate, financial or educational.
And the secret of family happiness lies in the ability to solve them by joint efforts. Many psychologists are sure that it is the work on difficulties that strengthens the relationship of the spouses, and their successes can motivate them to achieve new goals.
What problems do spouses face at all stages of the relationship? First of all, it is the distribution of social roles. The psychology of family relationships is the ability to find a compromise and adequately assess the situation.
Many people, especially in Russia, are strongly convinced that a man should be a breadwinner and a woman a mistress. They lived in families with such a device, they were taught this from childhood and, moreover, they themselves want it.
But what to do if a man has some difficulties with getting a job, but he knows how to cook and clean the house in just half an hour, and the woman just got an excellent position, and her salary is enough to support the whole family without additional help?
Does a man really need to give up all his skills and desires and try to find a job in order to “be a man”, while a woman needs to give up profitable work and “cook borscht”? The answer is obvious - everyone should do exactly what they want and what will bring the greatest benefit to the whole family.
Further, the spouses may face problems of mutual understanding. It so happens that some of the views of a husband or wife can only be revealed after some time of life together. This situation can be considered by an example: a woman really wants children, but is silent about it, and a man, on the contrary, does not want children and speaks openly about it.
A husband may regard a woman's silence as quiet agreement with his opinion that without a child they will only be happier. And a woman will accumulate dissatisfaction for many years, which will lead to sad consequences for the family.
There must be a very high level of trust between the spouses. Any, even the most personal and intimate, problem should be able to discuss with your partner. Discuss and be able to find a compromise that suits both people to one degree or another. Families are destroyed due to various little things that could accumulate for several years.
And, of course, in order to prevent this, it is better for her at the stage of acquaintance to get acquainted with all the views and opinions of her partner, which may not coincide with her own. Of course, people and their views change over the years, but this will be a little insurance that you can rely on in the first years of marriage.
There is no escape from intimate problems. The most common sign that something is wrong in the family is cheating on one or both partners. In most cases, both men and women “go to the left” because they are dissatisfied with something in having sex with their spouse.
Maybe there is some kind of fetish or fantasy that they are afraid to confess to each other. After all, condemnation and misunderstanding on the part of the closest person may follow. Or, over the years, one of the partners simply stopped considering their spouse sexually attractive.
It is not uncommon for men and women to abandon self-care after starting a life together. Men simply begin to live the way they used to live in their home. If they were originally sloppy, then they will remain so. And women who stop taking care of themselves often consider their beautiful appearance to be a tool that has already fulfilled its role - it attracted a spouse.
Because of this, the husband and wife stop enjoying sex with each other, because they only felt attracted to those versions of their partners that were beautiful and sexy.
To avoid cheating, you must, first of all, respect and value yourself. From a worthy partner who loves sex with his spouse and does everything to please both, and there will be no need to go to a lover or mistress. And the one who respects and values himself will never abandon his appearance, and will always delight his life partner with various options for sex.
People write dozens of books and articles about raising children. But still, most of the parents continue to rely on their own experience, considering it the only correct one. This can lead to conflicts between spouses, because one of them could grow up in a family for which the traditions and upbringing of his partner's family are considered unthinkable.
For example, someone grew up in severity, and his partner offers to give the child almost complete freedom and not punish him for his misdeeds. In this case, someone will disagree, and this conflict will certainly affect the child.
The most important thing that is important for raising children is the ability to soberly assess the situation. You should not blindly rely on the upbringing given to the spouses by their own parents. Also, one should not do the exact opposite - educate in such a way that it is the opposite of parenting themselves. In everything, you need to find a middle ground, take certain techniques that will allow you to raise a worthy person.
Also important is the ability not to stay in the past. If we soberly and adequately assess the fact that now the reality is significantly different from the one in which the parents themselves were children, then raising a child will be much easier.
A simple example - many parents who grew up without computers and gadgets consider them to be an obstacle in the development of their child. They in every possible way forbid their son or daughter to sit on the phone or play on the computer simply because they did not have it in childhood and they think that they did just fine without it.
But the reality is that gadgets and computers will be more and more embedded in human life over the years. The child will live in this world, and there is no need to hinder him from mastering these technologies. Of course, they teach this at school, but not always this knowledge can be applied in practice.
You should not rush to extremes and prohibit something uncontrollably or give complete freedom of action. It is necessary to find a middle ground so that the child can develop in all areas of interest to him.
Some parents find it difficult to establish full contact with the child due to the fact that they are constantly busy. If the father is a "breadwinner", then he can disappear from morning to evening at work, and upon returning home he simply collapses from fatigue and dreams only of a pillow.
And the child will see him just like that. How to be in such a situation? Some psychologists tell the unpleasant truth - you shouldn't have a child if providing for such a family would be exhausting and detrimental to the health of the parents.
In any case, you need to find time to pay attention to the child. If a father is too busy at work, then on weekends he must definitely devote all his time to children. If his workload during the day is not so big, then it is quite possible to find time to communicate with the child in the evening, read him a book.
The best option would be to become a friend for a son or daughter, and technology will allow parents and children to communicate even at a distance. It will be truly unusual and interesting for a child to communicate with his father or mother through social networks or instant messengers almost on an equal footing. This brings the family very close when there is no way to spend a lot of time together.
And how to keep love and happiness in the family for the rest of your life, you will learn from our next article on the link.
Popular by topic
Do you want to make the girl nice? It's easier than you think! Girls love beautiful words. So why not write her a message to make her heart beat faster? 100 ready-made cool SMS in this article
Where to find a rich man in Moscow and become his chosen one? We present a list of the very places where you can meet a real rich man
How to become the only one for a man? The one for whose sake he will move mountains and break into a cake? To begin with, men are always attracted to self-sufficient
What does heterosexual man or woman mean? What is the history of such relationships and what are the current realities. Problems of heterosexual relationships in society
Women are a mystery, many men cannot understand them. We present the basics of female psychology: what they love, what behavioral features exist and how to develop relationships with them