What Are The Differences In The Behavior Of Men And Women? As If From Different Planets

Table of contents:

What Are The Differences In The Behavior Of Men And Women? As If From Different Planets
What Are The Differences In The Behavior Of Men And Women? As If From Different Planets

Video: What Are The Differences In The Behavior Of Men And Women? As If From Different Planets

Отличия серверных жестких дисков от десктопных
Video: Are There "Male" and "Female" Brains? 2023, January
Anonim
men are from Mars, women are from Venus
men are from Mars, women are from Venus

Probably, there are already those people who, even if they have not read, but at least have not heard about the book by John Gray "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." The view on the relationship between men and women has its adherents and critics, but it seems that it did not leave anyone indifferent.

The content of the article

  • 1 Do not reproach loving
  • 2 Men and women are really different
  • 3 Chatterbox and listener
  • 4 Vain expectations and fatal mistakes
  • 5 So what is the strength?

The author of the book is a practicing psychologist who, with his theory, helped many people save marriage and improve relationships. He did not limit himself to writing this book, but reads lectures, conducts practical seminars and promotes respect for a person's biological belonging to one or another sex, which in some way runs counter to the modern trend of universal equalization in rights, duties, relationships and behavior.

His theory is based on the fact that men and women are in many ways completely different people, who have diametrically different concepts of how an ideal relationship should look and manifest itself. It is because of this difference and misunderstanding of the motives of each other's behavior that people often break off relationships that in fact could have happily existed for many years.

To understand and accept a partner of the opposite sex, to learn to understand his needs and to measure his actions with them are the main tasks of the book "Men from Mars, Women from Venus", which the author brilliantly completed.

If there is a breakdown in the relationship, and feelings are still alive, you need to urgently read about two types of aliens who were somehow brought to the same planet, and who are trying to learn how to communicate with each other and build common families.

Man and woman from different planets
Man and woman from different planets

Do not reproach loving

Mutual reproaches are a destructive path in any relationship, not just love. If people who are related by family ties begin to reproach each other, they can greatly ruin the relationship, but they will not stop being relatives, although many relationships between parents and children deteriorated significantly because of this. But the reproaches of a man and a woman can lead to a break in relations and it is not a fact that at least one thread will remain that connects them, which can help fix everything later.

On the one hand, reproach is an opportunity to express resentment, dissatisfaction with your pain or problem. On the other hand, there is a chance to hurt your partner even more than he does. What to do?

The same idea can be expressed in different ways. It's almost like with the famous phrase "you can't have mercy to execute." It all depends on where to put the comma, both literally and figuratively. There are countless topics for reproaches, each of them can be paraphrased, and you get not a reproach, but a constructive remark or a polite request.

Angry: “Where have you been / have you been? Can't you call? " can be replaced with: “Wow, finally you are found / found! I lost you / and I was so worried / worried! Please don't scare me like that anymore! " The reproach turns into a story about your feelings and a polite request. The meaning has not changed.

Man and woman are so different
Man and woman are so different

Boring: “Your friends / girlfriends are dearer than me! Why meet someone again? " can be paraphrased into a playful one: “Let's spend this evening together! I have something special planned! " And the nascent scandal can be translated into an unforgettable evening and wonderful sex. Just remember to plan something really special. A candlelit dinner or hockey tickets will come in handy.

And the most significant: "My mom cooks better!" or "You don't love my mom at all!" you just need to transfer to other rails. “Mmm, how delicious! Wow, since childhood, I got used to a completely different taste of this dish! You should try your mother's, let's compare. " Or: “I need to visit my mother, but if you’re tired, stay at home, I’ll smear you somehow, I’ll bring you something tasty.” There may be many options, but forcing a partner to perform duties that he does not like is definitely dishonest, and leads to unnecessary conflicts.

Men and women are really different2

No matter how feminists fight this assertion, it is useless to go against nature. We really have a lot of differences, they lie not only in gender. You can start with the simplest: take a regular blood test, look at its transcript and see that the same indicators are different for different sexes. Interestingly, with the level of, say, hemoglobin in the blood, you can also argue and lead to a general value? Then you will have to no, no, and to treat healthy people.

Men and women are really different
Men and women are really different

What about hormones? They are, in principle, different and their effect on the body is different. It is completely pointless to argue with this, you need to know about this and take into account.

During a stressful situation, the hormone hydrocortisone is produced in the blood of each person. To stop its action, testosterone must be produced in the blood of a man, and oxytocin in a woman.

Testosterone production is directly related to muscle work or, as in some kind of competition, research, and any other activity that affects self-confidence:

  • sports, from chess to football and barbell;
  • any competition, from watching football to cockroach races;
  • research, both scientific and geographical;
  • physical work, from hammering a nail into a wall to building a house;
  • parties, dances;
  • sex.

Oxytocin production is associated with interactions with others:

  • Talking about your own and other people's problems and successes, in general - gossip, meetings with friends;
  • Hugs, kisses;
  • A visit to a beauty salon, spa, hairdresser - everything that is directed, on the one hand, towards oneself, and on the other, towards interacting with someone who cares;
  • Dating, not necessarily serious, it is important to feel attention to yourself and, again, communicate;
  • Admiration of others, compliments, signs of attention, gifts;
  • Cultural events, social events, the opportunity to show oneself and see others;
  • Shopping as a way to communicate and gain recognition and admiration;
  • Caring for family and loved ones.
Contacts of aliens from different planets
Contacts of aliens from different planets

This does not mean that a woman will not enjoy going to the gym, and a man will not enjoy meeting friends. Of course, they will, and they will get rid of stress, only the mechanism and essence of the events will be different. And it's not about sexism, but about biology - hormones.

Chatterbox and listener3

Based on biological characteristics, for resolving conflicts, it is important, albeit infrequently, to allow a woman to speak out. And to do this not when she is already packing things, but long before that. In general, if a woman has the opportunity to express everything that hurts when she is listened to carefully, then half of the problems in the relationship simply will not arise.

This process also has a biological rationale: while a man is silent and listens, he produces testosterone, since the process requires remarkable endurance and internal struggle. While a woman speaks out, she produces oxytocin, since she satisfies many of her natural needs: she is listened to, paid attention to, she is in the center of events, she communicates.

Such joint therapy is equally useful for both sexes, there is nothing to say about the production of hormones, if everything is done correctly, then after the monologue there will be even greater affection and desire for each other.

Why are man and woman so different
Why are man and woman so different

A woman will be able to express claims for a short time, according to research - about eight minutes, then for a couple of minutes she will already share positive emotions, and then she will experience great relief and elation and make sure that she has got a wonderful man, which she will not hesitate to tell him about. The release of hormones with the correct placement of accents will lead to only one thing: dizzying sex.

The main thing that ensures this effect is the regularity of such events. Problems should not accumulate for more than eight minutes. Otherwise, patience for both partners may not be enough.

Vain expectations and fatal mistakes4

The main mistakes that ultimately spoil or kill relationships are that women and men expect feelings and actions from a partner that are inherent in them. In principle, this is impossible, since they have different hormonal levels and different ways of achieving psychological comfort. Folk wisdom does not work here: "Do with others as you want to be treated with you." To maintain a relationship, you need to deal with your partner the way he needs, not you.

Do not give unsolicited advice to a man. It seems to the woman that in this way she shows concern and care, and to the man - that she considers him so stupid and untenable that he cannot cope on his own. Remember: competition and victory are important for a man, not anxious participation.

Man and woman what is the difference
Man and woman what is the difference

The best support for him will be the words that he will surely cope with any problem and find a way out, that they believe in him. Just do not overdo it, so that he does not perceive it as excessive attention or a mockery. Everything is good in moderation. If you need advice, he will ask himself.

Often a man makes the mistake of not letting a woman express her problems, believing that she needs a solution to the problem from him, since she tells everything in such detail, and he is not at all interested in getting into "woman's affairs". In fact, as mentioned above, his attention is important to a woman. She is quite capable of coping with her problems on her own, especially since most of them are purely emotional. You just need to listen carefully and calmly.

A change in a woman's mood, her emotionality, can cause a man to feel guilty, he may believe that it is because of him. In fact, everything is again due to hormones. She doesn't need an objective reason at all to be sad or laugh. Don't react to every change. It is enough to show that she is loved and sometimes leave alone. Caring is always important for a woman, so it will never be superfluous to make a compliment or do a nice little thing.

It is important for a woman to be able to open up, tell about the most intimate, and often she expects the same from a man. And he is not only in no hurry to open up, but he can react quite sharply to attempts to invade the inner space. He needs the opportunity to retire and a wise woman will not go to him at such moments.

How men and women differ
How men and women differ

One of the most common misconceptions is that a woman is confident that she can change a man. This misconception often leads to divorce. You should not associate your life with the one you plan to change. This venture is doomed to failure. He can change only if he himself considers it necessary. And he will do it without anyone's help, like a true athlete. The role of a woman is to get sick and believe in his strength.

It can be difficult for a talkative woman to accept that if a man is silent in response to her long monologue, this does not mean that he does not listen to her or thinks about his own. He thinks. Whatever he has heard, he will take note of how he uses this information and whether it is his business.

Love is not about taking and making demands on each other, but about accepting a partner as he is and giving himself up without reserve.

So what's the power? 5

The main point to grasp is that men and women are really different. These are not character traits or upbringing, not social roles, but a biological feature that must be reckoned with. If you fight your own nature or the essence of a partner, then nothing good will come of it.

What is the power of the difference between a man and a woman
What is the power of the difference between a man and a woman

You need to work on relationships, and not follow the first impulse, since it is often mistaken, people tend to act based on their own preferences, without taking into account the characteristics of the opposite sex. Before drawing conclusions from the actions or words of a partner, you need to stop and think about what motivated him, and you should never forget about hormonal features.

If we do not forget about the feelings and desires of the partner, give him the opportunity to be himself, then the person himself will have enough opportunities for his own self-realization, growth and self-expression. At the same time, there will be complete harmony and mutual understanding in personal relationships. Personal freedom does not imply the ability to perform any actions and not be responsible for it, but the freedom to be yourself and be accepted without alterations and pretense.

Popular by topic