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Video: What Is The Right Way To Refuse A Guy To Date?
When someone shows interest in you and even offers to meet, but you are not interested in this, it can be difficult to cope with such a situation. It doesn't matter if you are friends with this person or not, you don't want to hurt his feelings. At the same time, make it clear to him that you do not need this relationship. Refusing is always difficult, but you can find a way and deal with the situation in the best possible way.
The content of the article
- 1 Show attention and respond tactfully
- 2 Act quickly
- 3 Be straightforward
- 4 React correctly
Show attention and respond tactfully
Tell her that you're flattered by his attention, but not interested in the relationship. An offer to date is always a compliment. This person thinks you are worthy of risking rejection and embarrassment, and of all the girls, he chose you. It takes a lot of courage to take this step.
First, smile and say thank you. Thank the guy for thinking of you this way, but convey to him the idea that while you appreciate his attitude, you are not interested.
You could say something like, "Thank you, I'm very flattered that you chose me, but as my boyfriend you don't interest me."
Before you say no, pause. This will demonstrate that you have pondered this question, even if you haven’t actually done it. If you say no without the slightest hesitation, you can offend the other person's feelings.
Speak as little as possible. Long and meaningless explanations can lead to pores and lead to misinterpretation and false hope. There is no need to go into details, so the refusal should be brief.
If you decide to lie, then do it skillfully. When you're going to come up with an excuse, at least make sure it looks believable and there is nothing to complain about. For example, "I just got promoted and have to give all my strength to work, so I don't have time for a relationship right now" sounds much more convincing than "I'm really busy this week."
Instead of trying to explain why you don't want to date this guy, try focusing on yourself instead. Simple statements such as “I'm sorry, I don't see you in this role” and “I like you as a person, but I don’t feel the connection between us” are easier to perceive than, for example, the phrase “you are not my type”.
Ending the conversation is also important. You will most likely both feel awkward and uncomfortable at this point, but try to end the conversation on a positive or light-hearted note. If that sounds good, try a joke, or at least smile and apologize sincerely.
The conversation should be ended quickly. Continuing a conversation or hanging out together after everything has been said can be unpleasant or embarrassing for the guy. You may want to continue the conversation to show that everything is fine, but the best thing you can do at this point is to end the meeting as soon as possible.
Keep it a secret. You should not discuss this issue with colleagues or with your friends. Show respect for the other person's feelings. Being rejected is unpleasant, don't create an additional problem for the guy - don't make him feel ashamed in front of other people.
Refusing an offer to meet is usually extremely inconvenient for both parties, and it can be tempting to ignore the situation entirely. Do you think if you pretend it didn't happen, the problem will go away by itself? Unfortunately, keeping quiet, hoping that the guy will eventually "take the hint" is a very cruel and incorrect strategy that can backfire.
You need to answer confidently and as quickly as possible. Don't wait for the right moment, because it doesn't really exist. The further you wait, the more difficult and unpleasant this situation will be for both of you.
It can be difficult for another person to move on unless they receive a solid and clear no from you, so the best thing you can do is give them this opportunity.
Another mistake that girls make in this situation is to agree to one or two dates, and then just silently disappear instead of solving the problem. But by doing so, you will only hurt this person. This is generally the worst way to end a relationship with someone.
If you don't know the person or you haven't seen each other for a long time, you can use the refusal in the form of a text message. So, the blow can be softened by the neutrality of the text, and the person will experience an unpleasant moment alone with himself. There is no reason to come into direct contact with someone you do not know well to refuse.
But friends and colleagues should answer in person. A good friend deserves a face-to-face answer. Also, thanks to this, future inevitable meetings will not be so awkward. Face-to-face communication can help the other person see your facial expressions, body language, and hear your tone of voice.
Don't show that you are hesitant or hesitant to give an answer, as this can be confusing. If you show firmness, chances are you won't have to talk about this topic again. Because of your mixed reaction, the guy might think he still has a chance and will be wasting his time. It also increases the likelihood that this awkward conversation might repeat itself.
Be nice to him, talk, smile, and stay calm. Try to use positive body language cues, such as avoiding defensive postures, looking him straight in the eyes to show you are serious.
Don't give false hopes. If you really don't want to date him, explain it. Phrases such as “I'm too busy at work right now” or “I just ended the relationship” may seem like a good thing, but to a guy it might sound like “ask me again in a few weeks”. It doesn't have to look like you're ready to give it a shot.
Don't keep in touch with the person if you never planned to date them. And do not renew communication if you are not interested in them. You shouldn't call him, send text messages, or even be friends on social networks.
Avoid friendship with this person whenever possible, but if you do decide to remain friends with him, first give him time to overcome the embarrassment and pain of rejection. Perhaps he will not be able to be friends with you because of romantic feelings. If so, respect his desire.
First, agree that it's okay to say no. No one likes to hurt another person, but giving up a relationship doesn't make you a bad person. This is completely normal, and you have every right to say no. If a guy doesn't appeal to you, there is nothing you can do about it. Saying something other than “no” would be disrespectful to both of you.
Don't feel guilty. You don't have to please everyone or agree to date someone because you feel guilty. Respect your own feelings and don't ask yourself unnecessary questions. Also, openly displaying your own guilt can be confusing to the other person. If you're honest with him, there is no need for an apology.
Trust your intuition. You may not be sure why you actually decided to turn him down, you just had a bad feeling about it. Trust this feeling. If something seems strange, chances are good that something is actually wrong.
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