What If You Live Together For A Year, But Does Not Call For Marriage? Tips

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What If You Live Together For A Year, But Does Not Call For Marriage? Tips
What If You Live Together For A Year, But Does Not Call For Marriage? Tips

Video: What If You Live Together For A Year, But Does Not Call For Marriage? Tips

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Video: If your woman does these, LEAVE HER! 2023, January
Anonim
surprised girl
surprised girl

Living together before entering into official relations has become the norm for a long time. Oh, and there is a heated debate on this topic. Despite the fact that everyone (okay, not all, but the majority) are accustomed to this scenario, the question remains: we live together for a year, and what next? Of course, the overwhelming majority of the authorship of this issue belongs to the female side. It is worth figuring out in advance why a man does not want to marry.

The content of the article

  • 1 Pitfalls
  • 2 Is it necessary to marry?
  • 3 And when will you get married?
  • 4 Male excuses
  • 5 What to do?

Pitfallsi

When a couple decides to live together, there is usually no question of how long it will last. Two meet, they feel good together, and they decide that it's enough to run on dates, it's time to move in like an adult and try living together. Here, as a rule, both sides think diametrically opposite.

Thoughts like “cool, you will have to spend less on dates, the house will always be clean and tasty” appear in a man's head. Thoughts “we’ll live a couple of months under one roof, check its level of economy, try its borscht, cutlets and then decide whether it is worthy to lead her to the registry office” appear in a much smaller number of male heads.

In a woman's head, everything is much more complicated. The girl is sure that if the guy called her to live together (and sometimes this is not even a man's initiative), then she is already married with one leg. Like, "he is almost ripe, now he will see what a fine fellow I am, lay a concrete path to his stomach and get the coveted ring." Girls are often sure that this joyful event will happen very soon.

This difference in thinking is the biggest pitfall. Everyone pursues their own goals. Therefore, a life hack for both: if you decide to live together, discuss your goals. That is, something like "let's live together for half a year to understand if we can get along within four walls."

There is something right about living together before marriage. In everyday life, you can better understand a person. Solve together some everyday issues, distribute responsibilities. Of course, it also happens that we lived before the wedding - everything was perfect, but as soon as we got married, everything changed. To be honest, this only happens in cases when someone really wants to get married.

There are situations that you cannot imagine on purpose. For example, a girl really wants to get married (it's generally difficult to understand what's wrong with this married woman, that many are so eager to go there), so she tries her best. The apartment is perfectly clean, a 3-course dinner, all the relatives were enchanted. But once you get married, suddenly everything disappears. Yes, it really happens. Girls, dear, don't do that. This will not add happiness to anyone in your pair.

the man does not propose marriage
the man does not propose marriage

It also happens that a couple lives together, but for some reason does not discuss everyday issues. Both work the same number of hours, but when he comes home, the guy lies down on the sofa and waits to be called for dinner. The girl runs to the stove and begins to cook, at the same time she washes and does order.

Ladies, remember: if from the very beginning you build your life in such a way that you are in the image of a draft horse, then it will be difficult to change it later. A large number of families break up due to the fact that a woman pulls everything on herself - work, life, children. And the poor, unhappy man gets tired at work. Living together here before the wedding will help you figure out if you are the right fit.

Should I get married? 2

One of the most frequently asked questions that are asked to a couple is "when will the wedding be?" Relatives often become authors. Especially grandmothers, in whose times it was not accepted. Well, then the questions “when will you have a child?” Follow. Yes, it’s the 21st century, but these questions are still heard much more often than we would like to hear them.

It would be nice for a couple to decide whether they need to marry. Maybe they don't see each other as husband and wife. In this case, of course, the question arises, why then live together and spend time on each other? But this is a retreat.

what to do if the guy does not call for marriage
what to do if the guy does not call for marriage

One of the most frequent answers to the question about marriage is “we are happy together, why do we need a stamp, it will not change anything”. And here everything is just not so simple. The stamp is still a guarantor of seriousness and stability. No, he certainly will not save you from everything, but he will insure and save your nerves in some situations. For example, when it comes to jointly acquired property.

Here many will give up and say that with a competent approach, everything is drawn up in such a way that no one is offended - everyone stays with his own. But believe me, not everyone can do this. Perhaps only a few are able to document everything so as not to be left with a nose.

How many deceived (more often women) cry later in the courtrooms (this is at best) and on the shoulders of friends-friends (the most common case), when he believed his beloved and did not arrange everything as it should be. Even more so are those whose half have suddenly departed to another world. For example, two lived for themselves, bought an apartment, registered for one, and he took it and died. Relatives will become the heirs, not the one with whom they shared their shelter. Here comes the understanding that the registry office was not a bad idea.

When will you get married? 3

On the vastness of the world wide web, you can find a lot of forums, the headings of which sound something like “we live together for a year, how to get him to marry?”. Or we live for 5 years, or even 10. We have already made our children together, and property, but there is no stamp.

if you live together for a year and do not call for marriage
if you live together for a year and do not call for marriage

The first question arises: is it really necessary to force a man to marry himself? Answer to yourself - what will the fact of marriage give. Yes, of course, formalized relationships give a woman more confidence. If you decide to leave, it is possible to divide property according to the law, if the relationship is not registered, then how to divide, for example, an apartment bought together? The second question that you need to answer to yourself is - do I really want to live in marriage with this person, have children from him (not a mandatory item)?

On the forums, opponents of living together call it names in different ways. One of the names is "marriage probe". For some, the wording may be offensive, but in fact it is - people try on family life. And here it is very important to understand that how a person will show himself, so he will continue. No, of course, there are happy exceptions, but most of them remain so.

And yes, stop calling cohabitation a civil marriage. These are completely different things. For some reason, the wording of cohabitation offends many. But that's the way it is. If you live together before registering a relationship at the registry office, you are not common-law spouses, but cohabitants. That's what it's called, yes.

Male excuses4

Most often, the question of what to do next, after a year of living together, worries the female part of the couple. Sometimes, of course, the opposite happens, but this is already an anomaly.

what to do if a man does not call for marriage
what to do if a man does not call for marriage

Wise women cannot stand the brain about the absence of a ring on their finger. Those who often start a conversation get excuses, according to which they can write humorous scenes.

Top male excuses:

  • I'm not ready yet. I wonder how to determine the degree of readiness? The pie has a dry toothpick, the meat is soft, and the man? And what needs to be done to get him ready? And what exactly is he not ready for? What will change so much in his life after the wedding that we need to prepare for this?
  • Everyone lives like that. Oh, this pursuit of "being like everyone else" will not lead to anything good. Why do you need it like everyone else, if you can like it specifically for you? Guys, well, frankly, it's a very strange excuse. What does it all have to do with it?
  • We are already doing well. Uh-huh, from the same opera - the stamp does not change anything. So if he does not change and nothing will change, then why should he be afraid? Well for you it means nothing, but for her a lot, go and sign. Why do men think that a wedding ring and a stamp will turn life upside down?
  • You're obsessed with the wedding. Yes, most of the fair sex are obsessed with the wedding. Yes, they want to wear a white dress and a ring on their finger. Yes, they need the same die. For a woman, this means much more than for a man. But this is a sign of stability (whatever) and confidence. Because after parting, a woman will remain to raise joint children (in the overwhelming majority of cases), because a priori it is more difficult for women to achieve something.
the guy does not offer marriage
the guy does not offer marriage
  • First … Anything can be in place of the ellipsis - first I’ll earn money for a wedding, buy an apartment, a car, a summer residence, fly to see the world. And so on ad infinitum. What prevents you from doing all this while legally married?
  • Someone is against. Paternal grandmother, mother, neighbor's dog, janitor from our yard. Damn, guys, why do you care? Maybe the relatives of the chosen one dislike you too, but they will not marry. And why should someone decide for you whether your beloved suits you as a wife or not?
  • I'm afraid of a divorce. Yeah, at first I'm afraid of a wedding, then a divorce. He is afraid that his wife will run away with another, breaking his heart. Oh, what vulnerable men have gone today. Such excuses are often spoken by those who have already been burned in past relationships. But that was a different relationship. With another person. Everything was different there.
  • Age is not the same. Oh yes, a man is young at 30, maybe he will mature by 40. Or maybe he won't. But now is definitely not the age. And a year later. And after five. Come 60 years old?
  • Ready to marry on terms. For example, he will marry if you abandon your girlfriends. Or make yourself a breast. Or give the child from your first marriage to someone else to raise. And some other conditions. Girls, run away from such suitors.
  • Not sure. Not sure if you love him. Or that he loves you. Or that he loves women in general. Leave him alone with your insecurities. You can live with this for 30 years, but you won't get more confidence.
why does a man not call for marriage
why does a man not call for marriage

The list is endless. A man who does not want to marry will come up with new ones every time.

What to do? 5

If you have lived together for a year and do not know what to do next, then another year is unlikely to change anything. A year is enough time to understand whether you are suitable for each other or not. If there are no inclinations towards filing an application, you need to take everything into your own hands.

You can choose the right moment - when the man is in a good mood and is not busy with anything and ask what plans he has for a joint future. And here you have to carefully look and listen. If he starts to rush, hide his eyes, get nervous, evade, then things are bad. In general, for a year you probably studied him well and can understand his reaction.

If you are not ready for such a step, you can try other methods. Again, conversations on this topic should be conducted at a time when the man is not busy with anything and is in a good disposition. For example, after dinner, when you watch a movie together. Ask him what his ideal woman is. What kind of wife he would like himself.

Your task is not to throw a tantrum if you suddenly realize that this is not about you. And calmly listen to understand how to proceed. Listen and try on yourself. If you realize that you are not keeping up with his ideal a lot, decide for yourself whether you are ready to become what he wants, not to the detriment of yourself. For example, he wants a homebody wife, for whom he is the center of the universe. And you understand that you can never do that.

why doesn't the guy call to get married
why doesn't the guy call to get married

True, here you have to be prepared for the fact that he will ask a counter question about her husband. And here you can go in two ways - describe him (this will definitely flatter him) or tell the truth. It might make him think.

In any case, when starting up conversations about a wedding, you should understand that they can have the opposite effect. A man can get nervous, make a scandal and leave, slamming the door. Yes, men are vulnerable when it suits them. Or you will pack your things in tears and leave. But to be silent and wait until it matures is also not an option. Maybe he sees you as a transit point. And you are wasting your time and youth on him.

Girls, women, you need to love, appreciate and respect yourself. You don’t have to live with those who do not see the very one in you. Do not waste time, your happiness is definitely waiting for you somewhere. Yes, it can be very difficult to break everything, but sometimes this is the only right way out. No need to force you to marry yourself. Such a marriage is doomed to fail. Why rush about and complain to your friends “we have been living together for a year, and he doesn’t propose to me,” maybe this is not your person at all. Isn't it easier to build a strong family right away than to burn yourself?

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