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Video: Relationships After Cheating: How To Improve Relationships After Cheating Husbands Or Wives
If there is one hundred percent way to ruin a relationship, it’s cheating. The decisive blow to the relationship, which does not give a chance to recover. Regardless of who cheated, the feeling of betrayal remains forever between two people and the surest way out of this situation is parting, because the fear of relapse and guilt will never leave the couple.
The content of the article
- 1 Reasons for cheating
- 2 How to deal with the consequences of cheating
But if the life situation, culture or any other factors do not allow parting, then how to restore the relationship after infidelity and is it possible.
Reasons for cheatingi
Before you understand how to restore relations after infidelity, you need to understand what could have caused such a rash act. Of course, it is impossible to consider each case separately, but by averaging, six main reasons for cheating can be distinguished.
Love. A person tends to devalue what he has at the moment. Spouses who have been married for a long time (couples who have been dating for a long time) are at risk, since over the years they could forget all the wonderful things that happened in their lives and see only a gray routine. If you don't work on relationships all the time, over the years love dies out altogether. And then betrayal (in the eyes of the person who has changed) no longer looks like betrayal, because he (or she) is only a victim of circumstances, stuck in a relationship without love
- Revenge. Cheating as a reaction to the betrayal of a loved one. One of the stupidest and most common reasons. In an attempt to equalize the score and annoy the partner, people rush to the top, forgetting that an equal score in such a situation does not become a "draw", but turns into a defeat for both sides. You need to think about how to restore relationships after infidelity before the irreparable is done from a feeling of resentment.
- Lack of love. If there is no bread at home, a person goes to the store to shop. If there is no warmth, no understanding, no sex in the house, sooner or later, even a saint will surrender and go in search of lost happiness. Of course, there are different situations: children, for example, block sexual and spiritual intimacy between partners for a long time. But this is no secret to anyone. Thinking about relationships is worth before the birth of children, so as not to reap the bitter fruits.
- New impressions. Partners who have known each other for many years know how to receive and deliver pleasure like no one else from the outside. But, sometimes, even the most ideal sex becomes a part of the routine and then people start looking for new sexual experiences, forgetting that there are many ways to dilute intimate life without betraying the trust of a partner.
- Escape from the family. The reason for cowards who are unable to directly say that they are breaking up a relationship. Such a betrayal is always deliberately ostentatious, aimed at causing a partner to become hysterical and abandoned. In this case, they do not think how to restore relations after infidelity. Rather, the partner wonders where the brains were when many years of life were successfully spent on a pitiful coward who is unable to be human.
- An affair. A woman just goes to work after 2 years has not seen anything except a child, neighbors and her husband, who is always offended for the lack of intimacy. A man goes on a business trip with a cute new head of the department and cannot get rid of the obsessive thoughts that only a very tired mother of his child is waiting for him at home. Such a betrayal occurs spontaneously - no feelings and emotional experiences other than subsequent regret; it is always the weakness and influence of the moment. And this is the only option when the relationship can still be saved.
How to deal with the consequences of cheating2
In order to cope with the consequences of a harmful decision for a relationship, you need to prepare for a long and painstaking work. To honestly answer the question of why these particular relationships need to be maintained, why not continue the affair and start new ones. Any reason other than a painfully acute inner desire will not allow you to go the path of forgiveness.
After the first emotions have slept, it is necessary to calmly and emotionally discuss the situation. Honestly admit the reasons for treason, be as sincere as possible.
In addition to discussing the fact of treason, it is necessary to learn about the feelings of the injured party and jointly decide whether both are ready to work to save the family. If the injured party is not ready to forgive and try to fix everything, then nothing will come of it, no matter how much you work.
Try to forgive
Forgiveness will not come immediately, but if a decision was made to try to restore relations after the betrayal, you need to force yourself to sincerely try to forgive the other person. Through all the pain and resentment. Such pain does not go away in one day, you need patience and a conscious decision to again believe the person who betrayed so meanly, but without this it will not be possible to improve relations. For more on how to forgive cheating, follow the link.
Go to a psychologist
The main criterion for the successful salvation of relations will be the restoration of complete openness, reaching a new level of trust. The specialist will help to bring to the surface feelings that are not mentioned and will open our eyes to things that remain only in our heads.
Don't connect relatives and friends
It is almost impossible to cope with such pain alone and the desire to find support in friends is understandable. The problem is that friends in this situation act on the basis of their own picture of the world and theoretical experience - they cannot be objective. In addition, if the relationship can still be saved, friends may not understand and will definitely never forget.
In any case, on the scale of the universe, sex on the side itself does not pose a mortal threat to the relationship. The main reason for parting is betrayal. Trusting another person is already difficult, and if there is a reason to doubt, the intimacy becomes almost unbearable. Before thinking about how to restore relationships after infidelity, you should honestly answer yourself the question: "Do I love this person so much to go through hell again?"
It is also worth knowing about sex after infidelity - is it possible? We will answer this question!