"Victim Syndrome" Or Who Is To Blame For A Toxic Relationship

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"Victim Syndrome" Or Who Is To Blame For A Toxic Relationship
"Victim Syndrome" Or Who Is To Blame For A Toxic Relationship
Video: "Victim Syndrome" Or Who Is To Blame For A Toxic Relationship
Video: The Truth about "Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome" | "Narcisstic Victim Syndrome" 2023, February
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victim syndrome
victim syndrome

Often the attitude towards a person begins to deteriorate for unknown reasons. A vivid example of this, betrayal, an ideal partner from all sides. And everything is simple: intoxication of relations occurs. Simply put: sweet poisoning.

The content of the article

  • 1 Resentment as the main menu of relationships
  • 2 Ascetic in the tenth generation
  • 3 Another child in the house
  • 4 Justification of permissiveness
  • 5 Concealing emotions

Psychologists have identified several main signs by which it becomes clear that the victim of infidelity or bad attitude towards himself is to blame. This is what the conversation will be about.

Resentment as the main menu of relationships

Victims simply feed on grievances. They swallow them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. They do this for quite understandable reasons. They have read books on ways to settle conflicts, but they cannot correctly apply advice. As a result, they simply swallow grievances instead of letting the partner know that he is absolutely wrong. Yes, of course, there is no need to tear your throat, it is enough just to calmly outline the boundaries of what is permitted. But putting yourself constantly in the doggy-style position is also not ice. The partner will just get used to it and will consider it the norm. Well, why should he strain again? He barked, insulted, let off the steam and went to eat the pies carefully prepared by the victim. Disrespect for oneself causes disrespect for a partner. This is the law! So stop feeding on resentment.

Ascetic in the tenth generation2

The victim often puts their needs an order of magnitude lower than those of the partner. There are a lot of examples of such an attitude towards oneself: the wife has a brand new iPhone, and the spouse has a Nokia 3310, the husband drives the car for bread, and the wife takes potatoes from the garage by bus, the dear has 33 pairs of shoes, and the beloved has only shoes, and those with prom.

The fact that such things happen is again the victim's fault. At first, everyone cares about each other. But at some point, one of the partners begins to be ascetic. Yes, he is simply afraid to seem too demanding, too capricious, too greedy. Both men and women suffer from this "I will manage". Men fall under the pattern "Yazhemuzhik", and women do not want to seem mercantile bitches and seek to refute the statement that women need a wallet. As a result, then it is impossible to beg for snow in winter.

Male victim syndrome
Male victim syndrome

Another child in the house

Most often this is a problem of strong women or those who have too much developed maternal instinct. Distorted ideas about the ideal hostess may also be to blame. How is it shown?

First, overprotective. Caring is, of course, good. But you don't have to try to endlessly do everything for a man. Why borscht for a week? He is an adult uncle, and he will not remain hungry if suddenly the spouse is forced to leave him alone.

Secondly, violation of the golden rule "do not stick your nose into someone else's question." Yes, sitting in the dark and waiting for your husband to screw in a light bulb is stupid. But trying to steer a repair crew or change a faucet in a kitchen is overkill. Everyone has their own responsibilities at home. No need to meddle in your own business. and thereby underestimate the spouse's self-esteem. It can be a ride a couple of times, and even arouse admiration that, they say, that's what a cool girl got caught. But then the spouse will inevitably hang the legs on the woman's neck, and will not even know where the screwdrivers are.

Relationship intoxication
Relationship intoxication

Thirdly, there is a lack of trust in the issue of human self-sufficiency. A vivid example: a woman does not leave her child with her husband for more than a couple of hours. And if something like that happens, it monitors it every 15 minutes. There is no need to leave clear instructions on what tights to wear in the kindergarten, and what kind of porridge to feed the child for dinner. The man will figure it out himself. Yes, there is a possibility that the child will have breakfast with pizza, and on the street will look like a buffoon, but this is not fatal! But the spouse does not have an unpleasant aftertaste in his own significance.

Justification of permissiveness4

The victim herself allows the partner to cross all boundaries. She constantly justifies his shortcomings, instead of harshly but correctly pointing out them. He showed aggression - she provoked him, threw away his socks and did not wash the dishes - he was a man and was not used to housework, did not fulfill the request - he did not have time, as he was busy. And every victim has a sack of such excuses. But you just need to clearly express your displeasure, show your emotions and lead a person to the fact that he acted extremely wrong. Otherwise, the partner will begin to perceive it as if "do what you want, I will forgive everything, just be there." This position inevitably leads to both disrespect and betrayal.

Concealment of emotions5

Don't hide your emotions. Everyone can be irritated, angry, sad, or just very tired. If you constantly pretend that everything is fine, spare your partner's peace of mind, live in a constant positive and selflessly yell that "all bullshit, let's break through!", In response you can get an indifferent parasite who absolutely does not care what is going on in the soul of another human. Simply put, an egoist is at your side. You need to talk about your emotions, show them. Then the partner will strive to ensure that his presence is comfortable.

Relationship intoxication or victim syndrome
Relationship intoxication or victim syndrome

It may seem strange that the traits that have been listed form the image of the ideal partner. The question arises, do you really have to be a bitch or a dork in order not to get into such a story? Of course not! It's just that everything should be in moderation.

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