Table of contents:
- Ideal relationshipi
- Ice and flame compatible2
- Love is not a bird, you can't catch, you can't ban 3
- Better a bitter truth than a sweet lie
- Give me back the real me5
The psychology of love and relationships is made up of unjustified expectations and claims to each other. When a person is in love, he does not notice the shortcomings, on the contrary, they seem sweet and pleasant. The beloved person appears to be the only one worthy of attention, everything in him is good, we simply do not notice other people, they are not there, they have dissolved and disappeared, there is only he and she.
The content of the article
- 1 Ideal relationship
- 2 Ice and flame are compatible
- 3 Love is not a bird, you cannot catch, you cannot ban
- 4 Bitter truth is better than sweet lie
- 5 Give me back the real me
To be near and together, to participate in all matters, to help, to facilitate, to worry about every action or inaction to pain, to the point of insanity, is the only goal in life. Working in the background, rather to her, rather to see, to hear a voice - this is the true joy and meaning of existence. The center of the universe has moved to one beloved. “Juliet is the sun,” says Romeo.
Lucky for those who experienced such love. The psychology of love and relationships is worth researching for greater understanding and error prevention. Until the climax, you are able to have friendships with many people and switch from one to the other.
But to love, they are capable of only one, love is not given to two, since this is some kind of obsession. Focusing on one person is the main condition for a romantic relationship.
Every little thing associated with the personality of adoration is raised to the rank, whether it be a letter, a comb with a tangled hair, a walk in the park and suddenly blossoming buds, a joint preparation of dinner, everything has a huge meaning in his imagination. The flaws in a loved one, too, seem unique and cute, they are not noticeable to the common mind.
The impression is that on the eyes the curtains are pink - "rose-colored glasses". They say that love is blind. So it is, consciousness refuses to perceive the shortcomings and vices of the object of passion, they do not bother it.
Ice and flame compatible2
An extraordinary surge of energy happens during a passionate relationship, you do not want to eat or sleep, and so there is enough energy. Young men claim that when he thinks about her, he can jump up to heaven, his heart begins to beat faster, hearing the voice of his beloved.
Mood swings happen instantly and depend on how much attention is paid to you or not. From delight to overwhelming anger. The writer Henri-Frederic Amiel said: "The more a person loves, the more he suffers."
Adversity and obstacles only increase passion. After all, it is not for nothing that they say that the forbidden fruit is sweet, so they strive to pluck it and sweep away all the barriers. Oddly enough, even a quarrel and a temporary separation can serve as an incentive. The stronger the desire for sexual contact arises and is the pinnacle of relationships. At the same time, both hope to remain faithful to one partner. 95 percent of the respondents agreed with this.
But loyalty gives rise to, as Shakespeare called it, "the green-eyed monster" - jealousy. She accompanies true passion and love - it is their fuel and nourishment. Love and jealousy are real invaders of consciousness, you can't think of anything else and for a while you literally go crazy.
One of the most balanced people of our time, George Washington, in a letter warned his granddaughter against love, as "the call of passion is irresistible." 80 percent of those surveyed said that love was not their deliberate choice, she herself captured them by accident.
Love is not a bird, you can't catch, you can't ban 3
At the same time, love, both born and died suddenly. Flew past and can no longer be returned. Habit, respect, comfortable living together can come to replace. But not a fact, it can flare up again. There is no certainty, no certainty that this is forever. Everything passes, it passes, and this is a phrase for all the vicissitudes of life. You need to take care of your soul mate and enjoy a quiet life together.
You can diversify it with travel, trips to friends, vacation trips. Attract impressions from outside. Hobbies and hobbies provide an opportunity for joint creativity. True, not everyone succeeds in this, people do not understand what is happening to them and it is not they who control the situation, but animal passions take over.
Time passes, love is waning, and troubles keep on coming from all sides. The one who said that love is happiness turns out to be absolutely wrong. This spontaneous feeling brings euphoria and great pain with it. It is a disease of mind and body, endless obsession with another person and insanity.
Having traced the love story through the great literary works, we notice that strong passions often end in the death of lovers. Romeo and Juliet, Othello and Desdemona, Paris and Elena, none of them survived in the alterations of passion. Unfortunately, there are also many examples of tragic endings in real life.
But there is good news in this maelstrom, such insanity lasts for a relatively short time, from six months to eighteen months. Then the veil from the eyes flies off and an equally difficult period in the life of the couple begins. Discontent with a partner comes to the fore, then he brought the wrong kefir from the store, did not wipe his feet at the door, gave flowers, but not like that. The list of claims can accumulate for a long time until it develops into a scandal.
How can you survive and not break off your love relationship forever, but lay a joint foundation for many years? You do not need to withdraw from the problem, it is better to find out the reasons for the dissatisfaction and see how important it is for two. Life ended because the kefir turned out to be of the wrong brand?
Tomorrow will be a new day and a new kefir. Determine the significance of the problem, consider by importance. If the annoying factor does not affect the five basic needs of a person, then you should not be upset:
If the kefir turned out to be of the wrong quality, then:
- Is it threatening my life?
- Or people close to me, sister, brother, mother, my children?
- Will I lose a roof over my head (my house, apartment) from this?
- Will this make me lose my job (although it can be changed)?
- Will I completely lose money until the end of my days?
Here are five points that determine the possibility and comfort of living in the future, everything else is small. Be generous, let your companion have the right to make minor mistakes. Nobody needs to change character, adjust yourself, try to understand, forgive, accept.
Nobody will do anything bad to you. The bad lies in the five points described, there is no other bad, everything can be experienced. Of course, if there is a threat to life, then urgently need to take action and change everything.
Then you will notice that if your spouse likes to argue, then this is his defensive reaction and not the ability to express himself clearly in order to be understood, so he gets excited.
Attacks of his dissatisfaction will help to reveal invisible reasons in your relationship. You just need to listen and look closely.
Better a bitter truth than a sweet lie
Grievances in an ideal relationship arise from our character faults. We may be overly selfish or want someone to solve all the problems for us.
We carry many errors of character with us from the past to the present, as an emotional burden.
In this way, we learn to make compromises, give up fantastic expectations and accept reality as it is.
Problems are our teachers who teach you to find any way out of situations.
It is worth remembering that the state of happiness is more important than anything else. We seek justice at any cost, our opponent must admit that he is wrong. This is not right, let him remain with his opinion, and you with yours. The main thing is that you are together and this is happiness for both. And the opinion can change at any time.
We need to talk more with each other, the only way we can find out the cause of the conflict, come to a common opinion and agreement.
You need to develop a calm manner of speaking so that you are heard and raise your voice only at a critical moment.
It is correct to ask questions, getting to the bottom of the problem, have your own point of view and defend in desires, beliefs, values and self-restraints.
Give me back the real me5
Building your life correctly is not an easy task. What is good today, tomorrow seems hateful and boring, new sensations and impressions are needed. You get tired of monotony, you get tired of love, you get tired of life. And at the same time, when you ask the Almighty to save you from a series of loves and burning passions, you get the world around in black and white without a single paint.
You look and do not recognize your city, your area. Until recently, it sparkled with bright colors, sparkled and shone, today it has become covered with a gray coating, dirty dust and filled with gloomy people. It became not just boring, but the impression that you died, but for some reason walk, see and do not find yourself in nature.
The joy is gone, the colors have faded and you don't know where to apply yourself, how to use. No, love and seething passions are better. Give me back my love! We read more information about the psychology of family relationships and all its stages in our next article on the link.