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Video: How To Recognize A Mama's Son. Re-educating Into A Man
According to statistics, the most common reason for divorce is the inability of the male half of the family to take responsibility and show the character of a leader. Such men are often called "mama's son". This does not mean that he always seeks support from his mother or consults with her on any occasion. The term "sissy" means complete dependence on a woman. Such men can run a large enterprise, but they are unable to find clean socks in the morning, go to the clinic without a wife, or iron their shirt. He is morally and physically dependent on a woman.
The content of the article
- 1 How to recognize a mama's son?
- 2 How to raise a boy
- 3 Re-educating the husband
- 4 Star Sissies
The mother of such men also adds fuel to the fire. They are ready to come running to help their 40-year-old son in any situation. They are unhappy with their daughters-in-law, often consider them lazy, only because their son heats breakfast himself.
How to recognize a mom's son? I
The image of a man in glasses with large lenses and high-cut trousers has long been outdated. It is difficult to recognize a modern son by his appearance. Take a closer look at his actions and lifestyle.
Usually such men live with their parents. And such cohabitation is not always justified by material economy. It is more convenient for them to live with their mother. His linen is washed and ironed, the brake is carefully folded into a plastic container, and a hot dinner awaits in the evening. A man does not rush to get married or have a serious relationship. Even if he decides to take such a step, with a high degree of probability, he will bring his wife to the parental home.
Mom carefully controls her son. She tries to fill all spheres of life of your chosen one. It would seem that there is nothing wrong with that, just maternal care. But, the man is not against such total control. Even being in a company with a girl, he will pay enough attention to a telephone conversation with his mother.
If a man managed to get rid of oppression, and he was able to build a relationship with a girl, moreover, he moved from his parents, you need to understand that his mother will always be present in his life! Every day the parent will give advice, look for reasons for daily meetings with her son. Be prepared to be in second place.
Another hallmark of a man who is dependent on his mother is the inability to make decisions. This does not mean that he first of all runs for advice from his mother. You should be alarmed by the fact that the man shifts all responsibility for the decisions made to the woman. And in case of failure, he will look for the guilty among those around him.
A man is not adapted to an independent life. Nature has laid down that a male individual, after reaching a certain age, fights off the flock and creates its own pride. If your chosen one is not going to leave the parental home, then something in his life has gone wrong. Most likely, he is unable to take care of himself.
Unfortunately, women who decide to associate life with a similar specimen continue to support his lifestyle. In the mornings, they lovingly prepare the clothes that the spouse will wear to work, they buy underwear, register them with their hairdresser and take them by the pen for tests. The wife does everything to ensure that her husband could not do without female support.
How to Raise a Boy2
As you know, all the problems of adulthood are rooted in childhood. Parents, unwittingly, raise a slobber and a mama's son out of a boy, to whom nature has laid the right features. If, looking at a husband who is dependent on your mother, you do not want such a fate for your son, raise him correctly.
Let's take a look at what to look for in parenting.
- Do not “kill” the male qualities in the boy. No matter how much mom wants her son to be far from street and school conflicts, they cannot be avoided. All boys are fighters and rivals by nature, so teach your child to defend. If parents all the time urge the child to respond with a smile to the obvious aggression of peers and turn the other cheek for whipping, nothing good will come of it. At the exit from the boy, you will get a man who will not be able to stand up for himself and his woman, and in any conflict, will seek protection and comfort in the arms of his mother.
- Learn to make decisions. Even the banal choice of a school shirt is left to your son to make himself. Let him be wrong, fill the bumps. But this will be his personal experience. Subsequently, as an adult, he will be able to take responsibility for all his actions. If the parents do not allow their son to take a step without their consent, they risk bringing up lack of initiative and infantilism in the child.
- Learn to defend your position. A very big mistake, which was made by most teachers and parents of the times of the USSR, belittling the personality of the child. That is, a small person was always put several steps below an adult. Modern psychologists practice a different position - the child is a person. Learn to express your opinion and not be afraid of the judgment of your elders. Such a boy will grow up to be a self-confident man, with a clear life position.
- Give freedom. No need to shake over your son for any reason. You need to accept the fact that you can't escape fate. And as if mamani took care of her offspring, if a difficult fate awaits him, then it will not be otherwise. Very often one has to observe a picture when a woman transfers her son, who looks like 10 years old, across the road. Whom does such a mother want to raise? That's right, a man who is completely dependent on her.
- Separate Household Responsibilities: Many families treat children like a crystal vase. Don't do that; give your son assignments that, due to his age, he is able to fulfill. Throw away the trash, do the dishes, clean the room, make a simple breakfast for the whole family. A man should be adapted to an independent life from a very early age, taking care of himself is his direct responsibility. If you constantly save the strength of your son, referring to the fact that he is still small, in adulthood he will be completely dependent on his wife.
Most often, in single-parent families, where the father did not pay attention and did not raise his son, men grow up who, without female approval, cannot take a step. If you are raising your son alone, without the support of your husband, you will have to act for two.
Never speak ill of your father in front of your child. Give your son the opportunity to draw his own conclusions. Perhaps your ex-husband offended you as a woman, and the offense still drives you. In such cases, the woman is the initiator of the breakdown of the relationship between her son and father, she simply does not allow two close people to see and spend time together. Instill in your child the idea that the father loves him, even if he is not.
Don't tell your child that because of him you did not build your personal life. These words subconsciously inspire guilt. Throughout his life, a child, by his actions, will prove to his mother that she made the right choice. Most likely, due to a sense of guilt, he will not be able to start his own family, because he is very attached to his mother.
How to calculate such a man when we first meet a guy's parents will be described below.
If your chosen one turns out to be an integral part of your mother's skirt, we advise you to break this connection as soon as possible. The longer you accept the rules of the mother-in-law's game, the faster your relationship breaks down. This does not mean that you will have to wage a cold war or give your spouse ultimatums. You need to act more cunningly.
First, never live on the territory of your husband's parents. Gone are the days when a man brought his wife to the parental home. Each cell of society must exist separately from its ancestors. Even if the financial condition today does not allow you to buy your own home, you still need to look for options to create your own family nest. You can rent an apartment or, in extreme cases, a dorm room. Yes, you will have to sacrifice comfort, but your family's well-being will benefit.
Second, in the early stages of a relationship, agree not to tell your parents about your fights. You will make up, and parents throughout their lives will remember that their child was offended.
To find out how to make peace with a guy, follow the link, there is a lot of useful information that will help maintain the relationship.
Third, make contact with your mother-in-law. An enemy who has become a friend does no harm. Call her in order to find out the recipe for your favorite cake for your husband. Take an interest in his childhood. Do everything to ensure that the mother-in-law understands that her son is in good hands.
Fourth, train your spouse to be independent. There are some wives who are afraid to leave small children for their husbands. They worry that he will not cope. Give the opportunity to express yourself. In a playful, feminine manner, suggest making breakfast, picking up your child from kindergarten, or ironing your skirt, referring to the fact that you are late for work.
Believe me, any man can be re-educated for himself. You should not, of course, indulge yourself in a reliable one that he will be able to completely get rid of the "mother's" addiction, but the changes will be on the face. Do not forget to praise your man as often as possible, letting him know that he can do everything himself, without prompting from the outside.
Star Mom Sons4
Do not assume that a man who is dependent on his mother will not achieve anything in life. There are many worthy examples among the stars of cinema and stage.
Justin Timberlake. The leader among mom skirt fans. Despite the fact that the guy has been married for a long time and is raising a child, he still cannot minimize his mother's custody. The singer's mother diligently pokes her nose into her son's personal life and into the creative one. Rumor has it that she even insisted on being present at the birth of her first grandson. Justin's wife, Jessica Bill, of course, was against such interference in personal space.
Justin Timberlake with his mother
Leonardo DiCaprio. Everyone knows that his mother played the main role in building Leo's acting career. Irmelin, that is his mother's name, accompanies his son at almost all social events. But unlike the previous stellar mother, she does not meddle in her son's relationship with girls. Irmelin has long dreamed of becoming a mother-in-law and grandmother, but Leo has been a bachelor for many years. In one of his interviews, he admitted that he was looking for a woman who would be similar in character to his mother. Apparently, he has never met one like this.
Bradley Cooper. Before meeting his current wife Irina Shayk, Bradley lived with his mother. He explained this fact by the fact that his mother is cool and very good at cooking. The actor often brings his mother out, together with her he attends social events. It is worth noting that Bradley made the decision to live with his mother after his father's death, he simply did not want the woman closest to him to yearn. This is a worthy example of how a loving son should behave.
Justin Bieber. It would seem that the idol of a million girls, sexy guy Justin also suffers from an addiction to his mother's love. Ignoring the ridicule of others, he continues to go out, accompanied by his mother and without hesitation, kissing her on the cheek in front of the paparazzi. After a difficult breakup with Selena Gomez, Justin announced that he would no longer love women, now he only loves his mother. But fortunately, the singer reconsidered his views and not so long ago married the model Hayley Baldwin.
Justin Bieber with his mom
Ryan Reynolds. The Hollywood hottie also adores his mom. The woman was accompanied to all events, while the actor's wife was sitting at home with newborn children. Ryan often seeks support from his mom. He consulted with her about all three wives and her mother approved of them.
As you can see, the mama's boy label does not mean that a man will grow up to be a failure. Let's not be cunning, some women call their men such an offensive phrase only because they love their mothers and are always ready to help them. Sometimes even to the detriment of their own relationships. Do not confuse the concept of "loving son" and "mama's son". There is nothing wrong with a man loving and respecting his parents. Women who play off two close people - a mother and a son, need to think about how they want to see their own children. A person who raised a child, educated him and helped him get settled in life deserves a good attitude.