Table of contents:
Video: How To Let Go Of Past Relationships In 4 Steps
Not all relationships are permanent. Sometimes they end. But this is not a reason for endless suffering, but a reason for improving the next relationship. How to let go of past relationships if they interfere with moving forward? Not everyone knows how to part easily, and often old relationships leave an imprint on new ones. Or they act as a brake, but you definitely need to get off the point.
The content of the article
- 1 Awareness
- 2 Forgiveness
- 3 Rest
- 4 Conclusions
A common mistake many people make after breaking up is to look for reasons "maybe I'm fat?" "Do I have small breasts?" "I gave her little gifts?" This is not the most correct way. There is one working way to let go of past relationships - to sort them out. Yes, you have to dig where you don't really want to dig.
It is necessary to paint for yourself all the positive and negative aspects. It's straightforward to make a list - what good the relationship gave and what is bad. You need to paint everything. We'll have to remember unpleasant things like “kicked my beloved dog”, “constantly confused my shower gel with my expensive shampoo”, “couldn't cook”, “spent a lot” and the like.
This list will help you understand if everything was really as vanilla as it seemed or was it really so sad that, thank God, it ended? Yes, sometimes such a list has a very sobering effect - it seemed that everything was perfect, and if you delve into your memory, then there is nothing good to remember. Well, except for three tulips on March 8th. Or a pair of 23rd socks.
When you are dumped, you feel lousy. There is a feeling of inferiority: if they quit, it means that they did not fit, they were not good enough. A feeling of resentment is gnawing - how could I, so good, have been abandoned. In order to make your life easier, you will have to forgive your ex.
This point is very difficult. It is not at all necessary to meet again to say everything while looking into your eyes. It is enough to forgive the person mentally. You need to release your anger and your resentments. You can sit in front of the photo and talk until you feel better. It is necessary to express everything that bubbled inside and interferes with moving on.
Mentally (or looking at the photo) you need to express all the insults, all the innuendo, throw out all the emotions that you feel in relation to this person. (You don't need to stick the needles anywhere, this is from another opera.) And after you've expressed all the negativity, you need to forgive your partner. You can even thank. Thank you for teaching us how to love, hammer in nails, and for not drinking our property on drink. Well, in general, there will probably be a reason to thank you for. Gratitude for breaking up is fine too.
After the relationship, you need to rest. Gain strength before joining the next. Replenish strength after finished. Heal your mental wounds. Rest can be anything - alone, in a company, in another country, with your grandmother in the garden - anywhere. You can have a great rest without leaving anywhere. For example, if in a past relationship, upon coming home, you received a brain blowout, then get a thrill from an empty apartment - let your brain rest.
Now is a great time to start something that your former partner did not dare to do or prohibited. Sign up for a dance, in a pool, jump with a parachute - remember yourself. Fill Tatuha if you dreamed, but the move did not reach. Now is a great time.
You cannot let go of past relationships without drawing conclusions. Suffering until the end of your days is not the right way out. It is necessary to use past relationships as an experience. Priceless. Clearly define what you lacked in this relationship. What caused their collapse. What was good. What could have been changed.
The answers to these questions are needed to understand how to build your next relationship. In what issues you can find compromises, and in which you need to be firm. It is important to understand what exactly prevents you from letting go of past relationships - often it is resentment, understatement, habit, attachment.
Sometimes it seems that this relationship was perfect, that there is nowhere better, and therefore you sit and grieve that everything is over. And then you start to analyze with a cold head and it turns out that you are just used to a person. We lived together out of habit. Or because it was convenient for both. So why grieve then?
You cannot hide deeply within yourself the emotions associated with past relationships. It is necessary to pull them out, clean and get rid of unnecessary ones. You can leave positive memories, but remove the negative. With a reasonable approach, you can stay with your former friends. Especially if you have to see each other often - for example, one social circle, work together. If you parted on a good note, then later it will be easier for everyone.
As there is in the song "and you forgive him, forgive and let him go" - so it is necessary in life. Think of completed conversations as a treasured experience. Draw conclusions and move on. Well, unless you have the goal of suffering all your life for the past.