How To Stop Being Jealous Of Your Ex And Continue Living Without Looking Back

Table of contents:

How To Stop Being Jealous Of Your Ex And Continue Living Without Looking Back
How To Stop Being Jealous Of Your Ex And Continue Living Without Looking Back
Video: How To Stop Being Jealous Of Your Ex And Continue Living Without Looking Back
Video: Overcome Jealousy in 3 Minutes #LOVElife 2023, February
Anonim
stop being jealous of your ex
stop being jealous of your ex

Even when a breakup seems inevitable and you are confident that you are better, you can still wonder how your ex is doing, what they are doing or who, and most importantly, if they yearn for you or if they have someone. something new. Post-breakup jealousy is often an even bigger problem than the feelings you ended up experiencing during the relationship.

The content of the article

  • 1 1. Normalize your feelings
  • 2 2. Accept the pain
  • 3. Don't make your relationship a challenge
  • 4 4. Understand that there is a reason the past is in the past
  • 5 5. Thoughts and feelings are not dangerous
  • 6 6. Everyone has a past, including you
  • 7 7. Will you really believe someone who has never had a past?
  • 8 8. Focus on making your future
  • 9 9. Be your top priority

You may wonder why you are not good enough and why these people have what your ex really wanted. With no opportunity to protest and with a lot of potential for feelings of anger, betrayal, and disappointment, you may feel incredible jealousy and wonder how to stop being jealous of your ex. Fortunately, taming your jealousy and moving forward in a calm, happy, and mature manner is not impossible.

Retrospective jealousy - or jealousy about your partner's past - is a common problem for couples. You may feel that their past is threatening your current relationship, and you keep stopping there. Sometimes thoughts continue to cause concern:

  • I wonder if he / she was a better lover than me?
  • I wonder if he / she would like to return to him?
  • I wonder if he / she thinks about how great it was with him.
  • I wonder if he / she wants other women / men.

You may admit that the relationship is over, but these thoughts can torment you. These past experiences create feelings of insecurity and lack of control in you. Your thoughts and feelings about the past have been a threat to your current relationship.

1. Normalize Your Feelings1

This kind of jealousy is normal and simply reflects the primitive human desire to be the only one in the world. In fact, some cultures still insist on "virginity" for newlyweds, although this is often not possible, practical, or desirable. Any competition is viewed as an ongoing threat. So don't think that you are crazy because you have these feelings.

jealous of ex
jealous of ex

2. Accept the pain2

It's hard to stop being jealous of your ex. These feelings make you anxious, angry, sad, and helpless, and interfere with your current relationship. So show empathy when these feelings arise.

3. Don't make your relationship a challenge3

Sometimes your worry about the past forces you to do things that only increase your anxiety and push your partner away. Try to keep inquiries, reassurances, accusations, and reviews to a minimum. These strategies only make things worse.

4. Understand that there is a reason the past is in the past4

Most relationships end for good reasons. They may have ended because one or both partners found it unprofitable. Once this relationship is over, it may no longer matter. You don't need to resurrect the past to get on with your life.

5. Thoughts and feelings are not dangerous5

We often want to control our partner's thoughts and feelings - a kind of romantic perfectionism. This is unrealistic and only adds to your partner's feeling that it will be impossible to satisfy you. If you accept that everyone has personal thoughts, feelings, and fantasies, you will live in a real world where real relationships are possible.

how to stop being jealous of your ex
how to stop being jealous of your ex

6. Everyone has a past, including you6

Imagine that your partner insisted that you have no past - that you must be completely "clean" and not confused memories. How would you feel? Isn't there a reason your past relationship ended?

7. Will you really believe someone who has never had a past?

It may be an outdated desire for your partner to have no past with other people. But we are not living in the 16th century. In today's world, people learn from their past experiences and often use these lessons to make their present experience even better. After all, would you really believe someone over 25 who would tell you, "I've never found anyone sexier?"

8. Focus on making your future8

Less important is what happened in the past, more important is how you two deal with the present. Interrogation, accusation, reassurance seeking, and withdrawal will not strengthen the bond between you. Instead of reflecting on the past, try to do your best to love and appreciate each other. Make daily and weekly plans for fun, growth, and companionship, rather than contesting what's over. The current relationship will flourish in its own interests. The past can be left in the past.

stop being jealous of your ex
stop being jealous of your ex

9. Be Your Top Priority9

Whatever you do, always remember that life does not stand still and you must move on. The most important person in your life is yourself, you. Your ex and the other woman / man will remain only a vague memory, a turned page of your life.

Popular by topic