Table of contents:
- Reasons why love can bring unhappinessi
- Although sometimes ordinary love is disappointing2
- What to do if love does not bring happiness3
Video: Why Doesn't Love Always Bring Happiness, And When Does It Happen?
Dreaming of love or feeling it in their hearts, people expect unearthly happiness and joy. Alas, each person has his own understanding of what is good and what is bad. That is why everyone expects different things from love: reciprocity, pleasure, help and support. Why love does not bring happiness is a question that worries those who, instead of the expected joy, received torment and quarrels.
The content of the article
- 1 Reasons Love Can Be Unhappy
- 2 Although sometimes ordinary love is disappointing
- 3 What to do if love does not bring happiness
Reasons why love can bring unhappinessi
First of all, you need to be able to distinguish true love from its counterfeits. More often than not, heavy love addiction only brings pain. And it doesn't matter what is the basis of this dependence - the need for feelings or the material component. Most often, adolescents, as well as people with complexes and other psychological problems, fall into it.
Love addiction has its own typology:
- The codependent loses his own individuality and begins to live the life of a loved one. As if it turns into an appendage, realizing its masochistic fantasies.
- The codependent tries to take over the partner's territory. He tries to become indispensable to impose control.
- The addict tries not only to suppress the individuality of the partner, but to destroy his boundaries, showing sadistic inclinations.
It is clear that no form can bring true happiness, even if it seems different at first. Addiction not only destroys love, but the psyche of people. They lose the ability to build normal relationships and generally be happy.
Although sometimes ordinary love is disappointing2
Lack of trust and mutual respect. Many psychologists say that a person learns to trust in childhood, when he realizes that his parents love him and will not leave him. He gets used to waiting for his mother when she leaves the room, then from work. If a person in childhood was not sure that he was loved, he in an adult state is not able to calmly wait and trust. Building relationships, he will try to penetrate into all areas of his beloved's life, control his every step and constantly demand emotions and feelings. All this will lead to a feeling of fatigue, irritation and, in the end, will end badly
Many girls and boys wear the so-called "rose-colored glasses". Lack of life experience and naive gullibility make them ideal victims for scammers, selfish people and simply unscrupulous. That is why first love so often brings disappointment and remains a difficult test in the memory. Girls fall in love with bad boys who abuse alcohol and drugs, use them for their own pleasure, and show them cruelty. Young men, especially from wealthy families, more often fall into the hands of money hunters, as well as those who want to cover up the sins of youth
Of course, in no case should such a wonderful and magical feeling as first love be denigrated, but young people should still listen to their parents more often and think more with their heads.
Not ready for adulthood. The period of falling in love seems to be the most fabulous time. Lovers are full of tenderness and strive to fulfill each other's every whim. They appear in front of each other in their best conditions - the woman is always gentle and affectionate, and the man is caring, attentive and always ready to help. It seems to them that it is better not to find anyone and it will always be so. But everyday life, especially after they begin to build a common life, makes its own adjustments. Requirements for each other grow, and the willingness to meet halfway and sacrifice their interests may decrease. The girl is waiting, that's what the man will continue to yield to her in everything and take on most of the problems. A man is waiting for an established life and comfort. If their expectations do not coincide, then conflicts begin,scandals and very soon disappointment comes instead of joy
What to do if love does not bring happiness3
Psychologists have developed a number of tips for unhappy lovers:
- First of all, you need to try to see the good in your loved one, what is in him and what causes love. Perhaps everyday irritation does not make it possible to discern the tenderness with which a woman greets from work or that a man tries to get up early every day and cook breakfast, warm up the car so that his beloved sleeps a little longer.
- It is worth getting rid of the illusion that love itself can make life happier. It will still take daily efforts, a lot of actions and words to make your own life and that of your partner better, more interesting. You don't have to wait for someone to do something, but take everything into your own hands and make you happy every day.
You can't bring problems from work or a bad mood after talking to unpleasant people to your family. The beloved woman or man is not to blame for troubles in the workplace, as well as for the fact that there was some kind of conflict or an unpleasant story
Finally, if the feeling really grows that life has lost all colors, and the same question constantly sounds in my head - “Why does not love bring happiness?”, Then you need to stop and think. Maybe it's really worth taking a break in the relationship, being alone and clearing your brains.