Table of contents:
- Definition of first lovei
- When the first love appears2
- Lived Together All Life3
- How to get over a stormy breakup4
Video: What Does First Love Teach? How Not To Burn Yourself Next Time?
There is one thing in our life that determines its course - this is love. She can be different: parental, romantic, passionate, non-reciprocal and, of course, the first. It is the first love that is experienced hardest and most vividly.
The content of the article
- 1 Definition of first love
- 2 When the first love appears
- 3 Lived together all their lives
- 4 How to cope with a stormy breakup
The fact is that any feeling experienced for the first time leaves a huge imprint on the heart and memory. The experience of trial and error sweeps through the years. He helps someone to become better and develop new good qualities. Others do not take any lessons for themselves, starting to blame the circumstances and the people around them for all the failures.
Today we'll talk about what first love is. Let's tell you how often it ends with a happy ending. Are there any couples in the world who have managed to maintain reverent feelings for each other throughout their lives. And we will also figure out how to relate and what to take out for ourselves from a difficult first parting.
Definition of first lovei
A huge number of people say that they first experienced the feeling of falling in love at a very young age. Most often, they cite boys and girls who liked them in kindergarten or elementary school.
We believe that first love can be called not only children's unconscious feelings, associated rather with the study of the world and interest in the characteristics of a person of the opposite sex. Our conversation is built around a true strong feeling in which people can already be aware of. This is important, because at such a time a person comprehends important life theses, understands what he wants and what repels him the most.
First love is a passionate desire to be close to the object of sympathy. It is not always built on reciprocity, therefore it often leaves an imprint of sadness and longing on the heart. Some people all their lives ask questions in the style: "What would have happened if he then looked at me at least furtively?", "Why did my first experience of falling in love end without beginning?"
We all have different attitudes towards those feelings, but more often they cause a nostalgic smile on our lips. What ended a long time ago does not hurt as much as it did in a moment of emotional stress.
How do most people view their first serious infatuation with another person? The adult position is that first love flares up and fades out as quickly as a shooting star in the night sky. It sweeps past us, leaving a lot of pleasant and negative emotions. Due to the fact that both are as strong as possible, we remember this feeling until the end of our days.
What do professional psychologists think about this? Their opinion boils down to the fact that every person must go through the vivid emotions of falling in love. All these experiences of happiness and disappointment directly affect character formation. In later life, a person often begins to be guided by the rules and conclusions that he acquired just at the moment of formation.
They call the breakup of relations especially important. When a teenager or young man finds himself in a situation of vivid experiences and total sadness, he begins to listen more to himself. If during a quarrel with friends you can simply stop communicating, leaving everything as it is, you will have to deal with first love for a long time. Here comes the realization that not every person will always be with you, even if you want to spend your whole life together the most in the world.
We all drew our own conclusions from the first parting. Depending on the duration of the relationship, their depth, the presence of betrayal or the amicable end of the relationship, people build their next romantic relationship. It is especially difficult for those who chose to take offense at life and began to treat people in a consumer way. In their lives, there always comes a moment when all the built-up protection collapses, exposing a mass of complexes.
Therefore, we advise you not to ignore your gut. Listen to yourself. Even if at a particular moment it is very bad and difficult for you, you should know that everything passes. Find the strength to learn useful lessons from the situations that happen to you. This is how it is worth disassembling your first completed relationship. This approach will allow you to avoid repeating your own mistakes in the future, form the image of the person you want to see as your life partner, and develop rules of behavior.
When the first love appears2
As we have already said, the first love can come even to a small child. At this age, not everyone is capable of experiencing bright feelings for another person. Children are often violent. Moreover, they are completely innocent, since they do not know how to separate black and white, bad and good.
When a child does something bad, it causes more emotions in others than positive actions. Therefore, babies often fight, cry and offend those who are weaker. It's great if the babies were able to establish a trusting warm relationship.
Already in the younger groups of kindergarten, teachers notice how tiny boys try to help their princesses. Girls give in return affection and attention. Such childish love is very interesting to watch. Children are sincere in all their manifestations. At this point, they often agree to get married as soon as they grow up, or never part and always be there.
There are practically no cases of a couple forming in a nursery group and spending their entire lives with each other. But, having experienced vivid feelings, children already know that something unusual can be experienced towards the opposite sex, forcing them to become attentive and patient.
Such a naive, but in its own way beautiful love always leaves a pleasant light imprint on the memory. Kids do not understand all the difficulties of interpersonal relationships, so they quite simply part with each other, and soon they practically forget this stage.
Conscious feelings overtake us in different age periods. Most often, first love is associated with adolescence. This stage is characterized by a surge of adrenaline, the search for unusual emotions and impressions, frequent changes in mood and hobbies.
A teenage girl can fall in love with a guy because of some minor little thing. Let's say he has a charming smile, or he sings beautifully at school concerts. A young man may also like both an unusual informal girl who sadly looks out the window at lessons and listens to hard rock, and the most diligent student who responds to any request for help.
At this age, teenagers often fall in love, as they begin to realize the characteristics of different people. We are attracted to the direction where we ourselves have never been. Hence, falling in love with bad guys, bitchy girls, teachers. The gaze of a young heart can catch on the most inconspicuous detail, spinning it into a huge attractive dignity.
Why are the emotions from the first love so vivid that they are imprinted in the memory forever? The fact is that we do not love the person himself, but our own new feelings. We are all very interested in feeling something unfamiliar. Remember, when you fell in love for the first time, you often felt very painful, but at least there were extremely joyful moments. These emotional swings are exhausting, but it's not easy to stop swinging on them.
By falling in love with another person, we answer our own questions about personality. First love pushes you to open up in a new way in your own eyes. At this time, it is so pleasant to feel sorry for yourself, cry into your pillow to sad melodies. It is no less interesting to be jealous for the first time, to fight, to sort things out. In general, the feeling is so unusual and unexpected that it is simply impossible to ignore it.
Also, first love does not require total self-control and limitations. Young people almost never, at least on their own, ask questions about the future. He draws it light and, of course, joint. It's another matter if rationalists-adults get into the relationship of young hearts. Here moral teachings and teachings begin, although most often they are of no use.
The guys just want to be together. They are not interested in where the beloved's dad works, or who the chosen one will work with at twenty-five. This feeling is pure and not seasoned with social stereotypes. It especially attracts those who like to talk to someone heart to heart. It's not always possible to open up one hundred percent with friends, but it's easier and more interesting to do it with a soul mate.
Lived Together All Life3
Some statistics won't hurt us. It seems that the first relationship is almost in any case doomed to failure. World statistics tell us the opposite. Even if a couple scatters in order to gain new experience and be saturated with unexpected emotions, in two situations out of five men choose their first love as their wife.
Another question is that the number of divorces here is no less than in couples who converged at a conscious age. More often than not, guys cannot overcome enormous stress together. They move, go to universities, change. The partner is not in every case capable of accepting the reincarnation of the chosen one. In an instant, she can become completely different from what she was in school years.
But there are quite a few examples of families that were created immediately after graduation from school or college, and then lived together for a long life. Of course, it is impossible to compare their number with the statistics of divorces and partings. But the fact remains - eternal love and friendship are quite real.
There are examples even among world celebrities. We will not argue that the love of actor Adriano Celentano and his beautiful wife Claudia Mori was the first, but they have been living together for more than fifty years. The close family environment notes that family relationships are wonderful. Adriano still looks in love at his beautiful wife.
The genius filmmaker Federico Fellini lived a long life with the beautiful actress, Juliet Mazina. She was always next to him during filming, and he called her his main muse. Their love is also hardly the first. But the fact that feelings flared up instantly is obvious - the director and the actress got married just two weeks after they met.
How to get over a stormy breakup4
At the end of our conversation, we will try to formulate tips for you that will help not only during the first breakup. These actions will also be appropriate when the third, fourth, and fifth relationships collapse.
First, treat any situation as an important life experience. The more lessons you try to learn, the more new facets you discover, the higher the chances that you will meet the best person on the planet. The secret is simple - we only get what we broadcast. It is in your power to attract the right chosen one, and also make him happy. In response, he will try to bring joy into your life.
Second, listen to your inner voice. Someone is afraid to be alone with themselves. Indeed, when the first love ends, a difficult stage begins. You will definitely be sad and dreary. This is where the realization that you have lost a relationship and a person, and not yourself, comes to the rescue. The ability to be alone, to love him is very useful in adulthood.
Also, you can experience the pleasant taste of privacy. Couples who value personal space stay happy and in love much longer. It is much worse if you start using other people to fill the void in your soul.
Third, vivid painful emotions are as valuable as positive impressions. Parting and sadness from a lost feeling helped a huge number of people to reveal their hidden creative potential. Some begin to write amazing lyric poetry, others pick up a brush and paint colorful natural landscapes. Or maybe it is you who are destined to discover a musical or dance talent in yourself.
The main thing that gives us all the first love is a long, bright memory. Try to find positive aspects in any situation. Remember that everything dies down over time, only pleasant memories and invaluable experience remain.