Table of contents:
- Do not stick2
- Slow down3
- Don't adjust 4
- Respect your own and other people's time5
- Build boundaries6
- Track the dynamics7
- Only sex! 8
Video: Making Mistakes In The Beginning, Or How To Create An Unhappy Relationship
In mathematics, there is a method by contradiction (and in the context of an article about relationships, we are not about your partner). Traditionally, it is used in geometry, but no one forbade it to do so in psychology. Therefore, answering the question: how to create a happy relationship, we will tell you about the mistakes that should not be made while still on the shore.
The content of the article
- 1 Impatience
- 2 Do not stick
- 3 Slow down
- 4 Do not adjust
- 5 Respect your own and others' time
- 6 Build boundaries
- 7 Track the dynamics
- 8 Only sex!
Many people do not stay after the first date. Or rather, their boundaries, their lives … They begin to wait for the lightning-fast development of events. And they don't just wait, looking at the object of sighing and quietly crying on the windowsill of the social network.
They interrogate, run over, test for suitability for marriage, start serious conversations about family and children. They require regular communication, They call several times a day and offer to spend an hour or two on the phone, and sometimes this happens before and after a personal meeting.
But, an initiative friend, you shouldn't click on the cross in the upper right corner of the screen. The initiative itself is very good. But you must understand that your step towards your partner should alternate with his steps towards you. And if you run forward, and he backs away, then you should not rush into his life again. Maybe he thinks, maybe busy, or maybe he doesn't care. Remember, the dynamics of movement should be the same from all sides. Not that one is standing and the other is running. Otherwise, you will always be in the role of a catch-up.
Do not stick2
It's about when all thoughts, in spite of work and other deeds, are occupied by the desired object. This also includes a scrupulous study of social networks. In general, this behavior is destructive and bad for your psyche. Especially if you like a potential partner too much, but he doesn't like you - for now or in general.
In the piggy bank "do not stick" should be added eternal talk about the object of your sympathy and thoughts about it.
Immediately come up with a business to which you can be distracted, otherwise these "relationships" will quickly become destructive. The more thoughts and actions in relation to this person, the more you stick to him.
There is a meme on the Internet: something went wrong - go to the hall. This is probably almost the only wise advice on the world wide web. The exercise machine will not only help to put the body in order, but also to train willpower. And she is very useful here, so as not to jump into the pool headlong and not go into a relationship at 100%.
And then the girls are surprised: why are there no flowers, no gifts, no other knightly deeds? So who should you win back from? Unless you have a social media profile that you stick to several times a day. Trust me, this is definitely not the way to create a happy relationship.
In love, contrary to the advice from "Cosmo", there is no place for cunning. But this is not about female coquetry. Do not impose, do not ask and do not put pressure on your partner, do not create special occasions for a meeting. Most often this happens too clearly and if the partner is not in tune and does not perceive it as a game, then such events will make you think once again about a place for you on the black list of contacts.
Don't adjust 4
According to psychologists, trying to be liked is a sure sign of lack of self-respect. Usually these are doing just that. Don't be afraid to express your opinion, share your tastes and personal views on life. And do not try to change your appearance if you completely suit yourself, and in this image you are very comfortable.
Respect your own and other people's time5
Family psychologists often hear beautiful stories about correspondence until the morning. But the tale comes to an end the very next evening. Where did he go? Didn't you think that this correspondence seemed very interesting only to you?
Do not cancel your affairs for the sake of the person who is not ready to do the same in return.
Never let anyone infringe on what is important to you. If you humbly tolerate your partner's antics, especially those that are repulsive to you, it only says one thing - you have no personal boundaries. Grope them at the start of a relationship. Having given at least a couple of millimeters of territory at the beginning, you risk not winning them back in the middle of your novel. Your life is more important than Brad Pitt's love.
As soon as you find your own self-respect, the other person will look at you with different eyes.
Track the dynamics7
If there is no progress, then you should not dwell on such a relationship. This is most likely the beginning of the end. Many girls believe that the reason is in them. Well, the reason is - she showed the man that there are vacancies only in the friend zone and they humbly remained to wait for their hour on the bench. However, if a man is too interested in you, he will actively go ahead and you will not even be able to pretend that this is just friendship.
Only sex! 8
Many men at the start of a relationship are interested in only one thing. And not at all creating a happy relationship. For "optional" sex, men are ready to do a lot - at least fly to the moon, at least go to the cinema for "50 shades of gray" (or what is there now of this kind shown on the screens?). Many girls, lost in a partner, do not understand whether the man was really ready for something more?
And here no one talks about the rules of the first three dates or months, just sort out the person. Assess the situation not with your heart, but with your head and understand, is a man as much interested in you as you are in him?
At any stage of the relationship, it is important to remain attractive and exciting to your partner. And for this, you cannot merge your borders 100% with the borders of your partner. And this is done by almost all people in love. But remember, you can't be fun, exciting, and sticky at the same time. That's all the answers to the question: how to create a happy relationship.