Table of contents:
- Why is there a need for a pause? I
- He / she has someone 2
- Disappearance of romance3
- Uncertainty in a partner6
- Who is to blame? 8
- What's the problem with the modern break in relationships? nine
- How to take a time out correctly? 10
- Opinion of psychologists11
A month ago, everything seemed perfect between them. But it so happens that between a man and a woman, a shadow of distrust suddenly passed. They seem to be sleeping in the same bed, they may even hug, but in fact they are a thousand light-years apart. Then quarrels begin. Perhaps a pause in a relationship will be a lifeline.
The content of the article
- 1 Why is there a need for a pause?
- 2 He / she has someone
- 3 The disappearance of romance
- 4 Words-deeds
- 5 Quarrels
- 6 Uncertainty in a partner
- 7 Protest
- 8 Who is to blame?
- 9 What is the problem with the modern break in relationships?
- 10 How to take a time out correctly?
- 11 Opinion of psychologists
Why is there a need for a pause? I
Most often, the desire to suspend a relationship arises when one of the partners is not very happy with something. If you look at the question more deeply, it turns out that one of them seems to be doing well, while the other / the other is accumulating resentment and discontent. Only it is not spoken right away.
Resentment is wrapped up anger in a restraining mental shell. Sooner or later, a breakthrough occurs and this energy is transformed into anger. Anger serves man to destroy. In this case, the epicenter of the blow is the relationship and the partner, who until recently could have seemed fine. Now he is faced with the fact of a possible rupture.
If an angry partner still has some kind of feelings for a boyfriend / girlfriend, or is afraid of loneliness, is not sure that he will find a more worthy candidate, then he asks to pause in the relationship. But in any case, such a request can become a real drama. There are several reasons why a partner / partner wanted a timeout.
He / she has someone 2
In other words, treason. Even if a girl or a guy has not yet gone to the "left", but coldness, indifference, arrogance have appeared in the relationship - you should think about whether the other half has secret hobbies. Does he / she intend to go to someone?
Cheating can be both physical and emotional. Emotional cheating should not be underestimated. If a man has a one-time physical intimacy on the side and he does not intend to leave his woman, this can be experienced. If he fell in love with another woman, but there was no physical intimacy yet, this is much worse.
The situation with women is more complicated. Often, if they commit physical adultery, then the complex is emotional. Their body works in a different way, it is easier to restrain sexual impulses. If she slept with someone on the side, then she thought about such a step for a long time. Or there was an unreal Alfasame man who completely turned off her mind and seduced her on the first day of meeting.
If the manifestation of coldness and indifference is due to betrayal, it is real, but very difficult to restore trust and relationships. In this case, a great responsibility lies with the one who succumbed to the temptation. Why this happened is a secondary question.
Disappearance of romance3
For a relationship to be happy and harmonious, it is necessary to maintain romance. It may be that the man at the beginning of the relationship was attentive, gave flowers, courted beautifully, arranged surprises, evoked positive emotions in his woman, and then relaxed and stopped doing that. His other half may be silent for a while, and then begin to feel resentment. A dry attitude will be a reason for a pause or a possible break.
The same goes for women. Their duty is to maintain warmth, comfort and reciprocate the romantic acts of men. Take care of yourself, follow the image, stimulate the guy's imagination and periodically add some zest. If this does not happen, then the guy will lose interest.
Women expect actions from men, not beautiful words. To please a girl, guys begin to describe themselves brightly and colorfully, add non-existent positive qualities to themselves. If the girl is not stupid and has some experience, then the storyteller will not let the cannon shot.
But it happens that they have lived together for a while, he promises everything and does nothing. In this case, this can cause coldness in the attitude of the girl, a rethinking of values and a possible breakdown in relations through a pause. She makes it clear to the man that he is either changing, or there is no longer a place for him in her life.
Girls can also speak beautiful words about love, shed tears, and resort to other sophisticated manipulations. If the guy is not stupid, then sooner or later her attitude towards him will become clear. He will see that the girl does not love him, but uses. Then there will be a question of either a break, or a change in her personality and attitude towards him.
Usually people quarrel when they cannot share something. In a relationship, the unspoken reason is often finding out who is in charge here. Any little thing can cause a scandal. And it is impossible to be constantly in a stressful environment.
The constant initiation of a showdown may come from one of the partners, or maybe both. If from both - the woman and the man will have to change. It is more difficult to do without outside help in such cases.
When claims are from one - they can decide on their own. For example, a guy / girl makes scandals due to the fact that they have previously seen their loved one differently and felt feelings for the created image in their head. And now he / she behaves differently, and the other half is irritated and displeased.
Therefore, there will be a need to take a break. Think about what to do next, how to maintain the relationship, and if a compromise cannot be reached, disperse.
Uncertainty in a partner6
More precisely, the reason is mistrust. Trust is a feeling that has been born for a long time, not a year or two. It is worth a lot of effort to earn it on both sides, but you can lose it in an instant.
If there were no good reasons for mistrust, then most likely, the person behaving in this way is used to solving problems on his / her own and he / she is afraid to open up to another. But not everyone will like this behavior. Attempts will begin to find out the relationship, which will irritate the distrustful, and it will seem to the one who feels cold that he is not put into anything.
Some of the confidence / uncertainty overlaps with the words / actions. A partner somewhere could have made several serious mistakes, which would cause the other half to feel distrust. And coming to the situation from the other side, it turns out that the ability to forgive the mistakes of others is no less important quality than acting correctly all the time.
If the distrust of one person to another is a ripe fact, then this will necessarily manifest itself negatively in relation to each other. This will be followed by debriefing, emotions, tantrums, breaking dishes and disappointment.
Sometimes a pause in a relationship is taken as a protest. Not always verbalized. For example, a woman has a drinking and walking husband. He does not react to persuasion, degrades, but she loves him and wants him to change. The girl kicks out the unlucky one from the house.
The man is brainwashed by relatives and friends, he wanders for several weeks it is not clear where a miracle happens - his consciousness is clearing up. The man himself wanted to return to the house, but they agree to let him back in only if he stops drinking and walking. The guy agrees and returns to the family. In this case, the pause in the relationship acts as a protest and is taken by the woman.
Or another example. A young couple. A man loves his wife, and she has not yet decided, but she flutters her husband's nerves regularly, and she does it on purpose. He can't stand it, makes a scandal, she takes advantage of it and leaves home. She is also influenced by her parents and friends in a positive way. She decided to change and return to her husband. In this case, the pause as a protest comes from the man because of the feeling of dislike and coldness on the part of the wife.
Who is to blame? 8
If a person has fallen into disgrace, and they have announced to him that they want to take a break, or they show it by all means, then self-digging should be done with caution. You never know what you can not please. If you cannot discern a visible good reason, then you should not take full responsibility on yourself. Search for the guilty all the more.
To say that people are not suitable for each other is too commonplace, because a pause in a relationship most often means an action after a long relationship. Both partners invested in them and they do not want to lose the results of their labors. And there may still be a strong emotional bond between them. Therefore, you should not blame anyone in this situation. Better to focus your efforts on rebuilding the relationship.
What's the problem with the modern break in relationships? nine
People choose the "get together and live together" formula. They are in no hurry to legalize the relationship. This removes some of the responsibility from both. A joke comes to mind when they say that in a civil marriage, a woman considers herself married, and a man is free. But, unfortunately, in modern times, both boys and girls are in no hurry to swear oaths of fidelity in marriage. Although the cases are different.
On the one hand, cohabitation makes it possible to understand and "get used to" each other, and on the other, you can disperse at any time. This is where the temptation begins for a pause in the relationship, which most likely promises a break.
In this case, any trifle can become a reason for a pause, when an elephant is made out of a fly, and then they begin to notice shortcomings behind the partner / partner that the person is not ready to put up with. Moreover, they attribute shortcomings that actually do not exist.
How to take a time out correctly? 10
It's important to remember that pause is a big risk. The last resort. If you really can't agree, then the first thing to do is to monitor the speech and her manner. There should be no reproaches, much less insults.
It is advisable not to completely stop communicating. Reduce it to a neutral level, but maintain at least one message every two days. Do not try to press and manipulate the partner who decides to take a break. Give time to understand yourself, but subtly hint that he / she is not alone in the universe, and not its center, so you cannot expect forever.
Try to find out what specifically does not suit you, if possible, correct the shortcomings. If not, the pause loses its meaning, it is better to immediately diverge and plan the future without this person.
Opinion of psychologists11
Psychologists believe that one of the partners is often the initiator of a pause in a relationship. This happens when something is very uncomfortable, or the relationship is at an impasse and it takes time to consider whether to stay together.
This mainly happens after a quarrel, a surge of emotions, and people disperse for a while verbally without voicing that this is a "pause". Everything happens naturally. When one of the partners expresses in words that it's time to take a break, it's not worth waiting for something good. Although there are exceptions to all the rules. It is possible that both are tired of each other and want to rest.
There are exemplary stories when people take a break in a relationship and everything ends well. They pacify pride, show a sincere intent and determination to change. Make it clear for themselves that their other halves are really expensive and parting is not an option.
It is important to remember one rule - you cannot be cute. If you can't reach an agreement in any way, then the time has come for parting and life has prepared something new. And this person remains to be thanked for the experience and pleasant moments.