Women's Claims To A Man. Blaming Your Own Unfulfilled Dreams

You do not need to spend huge sums on research, surveys, analytical tables to understand that men and women have a lot of claims to each other. I just want to speak in the voice of a black cat from the cartoon "A Kitten named Woof": "It has always been this way and it will always be so" … What complaints did his wife have to the Cro-Magnon man? Was the mammoth too small, in the neighboring cave there were much more stone utensils and much warmer there? Honestly, not much has changed since then.

The content of the article

• 1 Why do claims really arise?
• 2 What are the most often unhappy wives and mistresses?
• 3 At the household level, husbands are more likely to listen to the following:
• 4 Claims are dangerous and destructive
• 5 Learn to hear and understand a loved one. Or break up

Why claims really arise

Any claim is essentially an accusation. Not accusing a person of any particular offense, everything is much more complicated. Claims are made when expectations are deceived and reality does not correspond to dreams. There were no expectations, which means there is nowhere to come from and disappointment, therefore, claims.

Women are much more inclined to idealize the idea of ​​their chosen one. In addition, during the period of falling in love, courtship and other rose-colored glasses, people, as a rule, strive to seem better than they really are. It is logical. At first, no one will advertise their shortcomings. An idealized idea of ​​a person is created, which the harsh reality will certainly begin to destroy. The woman is deceived in her expectations and claims to the man appear.

What are the most often dissatisfied wives and mistresses?

The general claims of women to the collective image of a modern man are as follows:

• Men became rude, ill-mannered, ceased to be "gentlemen". Of course, few people see the reason for this in the women's struggle for gender equality.
• Unwillingness to take responsibility. And this applies mainly to the sphere of relations. In business, work, life situations, representatives of the stronger sex still make decisions and are ready to take full responsibility if these decisions turn out to be wrong.
• They do not listen at all to women's opinions. Perhaps these are the consequences of a worldwide male conspiracy: "listen to a woman and do the opposite."

At the household level, husbands often listen to the following: 3

• You don’t love me (don’t hear, don’t understand, don’t want).
• An egoist who thinks only of himself and his needs (almost never at home, too often at home, prefers to spend his free time with friends).
• Stingy on emotions, avoiding conversation, consider his wife a hysterical.
• Infantile, does not want to take responsibility, leaves everything to chance.

The list is endless. But this makes little sense. After all, all of the above points speak in different words about the same thing: a woman is disappointed, deceived in expectations, feels a lack of care. And if, moreover, she is a little bit bitchy, selfish and looks at the world from the position of “everyone owes me everything and my husband is more than anyone else,” intergender claims will turn into interpersonal conflict easily and naturally.

A claim is dangerous and destructive4

If you look closely, you can come to a rather unexpected conclusion. And why, in general, did a person allow himself to think up, fantasize, deceive himself, and then thinks he has the right to accuse the other that he does not meet expectations?

Claims are damaging to relationships. Why? Because instead of finding out the cause of the discontent that has arisen, figuring out where it came from and just talking with a loved one, a claim is made. Accusation, attack on a person, belittling the importance of a person as a person. The desire to resolve controversial issues from the position “you owe me, you owe me” is a dead-end path. Dissatisfaction is sometimes expressed in a rather offensive form, with a raised voice, hysteria. And the bottom line is this: "You are to blame for the fact that you are not what I want and I cannot change you." Unfair, ugly, wrong.

All women make claims from time to time. But at the same time they remain rational beings and know how to hear themselves. Most are well aware when it is time to say "stop" to themselves and understand that it is meaningless to conduct a conversation in this way. To be able to hear yourself and realize that the spoken words are offensive and unfair is a valuable quality. He will stop, admit that he is wrong, change the tone of the conversation and listen to the other person - even more so.

Learn to hear and understand a loved one. Or break up5

If the stream of accusations is endless, it makes sense to think, but is it worth staying together if one is so inconsistent with the other's idea of ​​an ideal partner? There are not so many options for solving the problem: endure endless nagging, break up and find a really close person, or learn to understand and respect each other.