Why Low Self-esteem Can Be Dangerous For A Relationship

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Why Low Self-esteem Can Be Dangerous For A Relationship
Why Low Self-esteem Can Be Dangerous For A Relationship

Video: Why Low Self-esteem Can Be Dangerous For A Relationship

Video: Why Low Self-esteem Can Be Dangerous For A Relationship
Video: Do Your Relationships Damage Your Self-Esteem? 2023, March
Anonim
girl and boy think
girl and boy think

Low self-esteem always causes inconvenience to the person suffering from it. However, it can also be bad for his partner, psychologists say.

The content of the article

  • 1 Impact of self-esteem on relationships
  • 2 Research features
  • 3 Explanations of specialists
  • 4 Can self-esteem be strengthened?

Impact of self-esteem on relationships

Unpleasant times in life happen to everyone. This can be a loss of a job, a deterioration in relations with loved ones. When something unpleasant happens, then the inner critic is activated here: “What kind of person are you… you are not good enough… look at yourself… is it possible to do this…”, and so on.

Fluctuations in self-esteem are natural; this is life, you can't get away from it. However, if self-esteem is consistently below the baseboard, you need to pay attention to this. In this case, the lack of confidence can affect not only you, but also your partner.

Scientific research shows that in romantic relationships, self-esteem affects both the person’s satisfaction with the relationship and the level of the partner’s satisfaction. When you feel unwell, insecurity affects the way you communicate with your lover or beloved. And it affects both of you badly.

Study Features 2

Even worse, low self-esteem is so insidious that it can distort your perception of your partner. Such data were obtained in the course of research published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology ("Personality and social psychology"). More than 500 respondents of both sexes took part in the survey. The subjects were asked to answer questions related to self-esteem.

They were then asked to talk about how they perceived the shortcomings of their partners. It turned out that people with low self-esteem have a fear of what the shortcomings of their partners could potentially lead to. They are also more inclined to look at their relationships in black and white: in a couple, in their opinion, everything is wonderful, or - disgusting.

Explanations of specialists 3

Stephen Graham, lead author of the study, explains: “This polarization can have a huge impact on your relationship. For example, I constantly change my opinion about you: now I like you, and then - I hate you. Naturally, in such a relationship people feel very insecure."

The girl and the guy are offended
The girl and the guy are offended

Predictability in a love affair is extremely important - this factor is decisive for her future. By the way, this indicator is key in relation to the quality of sexual intimacy. In other words, the more predictable the relationship, the better the sex. And vice versa.

“Also, low self-esteem always makes a person worry more about relationships. He begins to worry that his partner will abandon him, stop loving him, circle him around his finger. Insecure people have fears about things that the average person would not even think about,”explains Heidi Riggio, social psychologist. "This leads to panic attacks, pathological jealousy."

Can self-esteem be strengthened? 4

“Regardless of what the lack of confidence is about or how long it lasts, the key to regaining self-esteem is changing your thoughts. Negative ideas must be replaced with positive ones,”Riggio continues. “In this regard, changing the internal dialogue helps a lot. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Even if it seems completely absurd, make an effort. In the end, this is your psyche and only you can decide what to pay your own attention to - negative or positive."

the girl thought
the girl thought

“If, for example, you start to doubt your attractiveness, stop and think about your own merits instead. Remind yourself that negative self-talk is just a fiction, a distortion of reality. And its appearance speaks only of the need to change the old script and say something good to yourself instead of nasty things,”advises Heidi Rigio. “It is quite possible to accustom yourself to good thoughts. The more you practice, the more confident you will become."

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