"Let's Part As Friends" - The Pros And Cons Of Such A Decision

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"Let's Part As Friends" - The Pros And Cons Of Such A Decision
"Let's Part As Friends" - The Pros And Cons Of Such A Decision

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Let's part friends
Let's part friends

A breakup is a decision that will affect the life of a man and a woman in a relationship anyway. Their morale and future life will depend on how they behave after parting. And when a couple decides: "Let's part as friends" - it's not always for the best. In what cases such a decision is really useful, and when it is better to abandon it, it is useful to find out for everyone who has a relationship on the verge of breaking up.

The content of the article

  • 1 When is it a good idea to stay friends?
  • 2 Factors forcing a couple to remain friends
  • 3 Pitfalls Of Deciding To Be Friends After Relationships
  • 4 When is it impossible to remain friends?
  • 5 When is friendship after a relationship just a cover?
  • 6 5 star couples who managed to part as friends
  • 7 Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony
  • 8 Courteney Cox and David Arquette
  • 9 Demi Moore and Bruce Willis
  • 10 Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis
  • 11 Monica Bellucci and Vincent Cassel

When is it a good idea to stay friends? I

So, the couple decided that completely losing touch was too much, and it was worth staying in a friendly relationship. Family psychologists from the United States and other countries have found out in which cases such a decision will be correct.

When a man and a woman both understand that after the breakup they need to be alone and independently experience a painful change in their personal life. If the couple is ready for this, then after a while they will come to terms with the thought "We are no longer a couple" and will be able to build friendly relations.

Friends can be those exes who talked frankly before breaking up and realized that their relationship had no prospects, but still consider each other interesting people. In this case, there remains respect between partners, which over time replaces the pain of the loss of a loved one and serves as the basis for friendship.

Also, couples who have built their relationships on communication are more likely to part as friends. It happens that communication is wonderful, but love affairs (sex, courtship, etc.) did not work out. But it is important to wait for a break after a breakup, because people with good communication can quickly agree and decide how to glue the broken cup.

If the former spouses have children, this is a good reason to remain at least friends. This will protect the child's psyche from severe trauma. Even if there is no desire to build friendly relations with a former partner, then developing patience and goodwill towards him will be enough.

Factors forcing a couple to remain friends2

Several factors can literally cause exes to build friendships. The first is teamwork. There are times when in the past, lovers, in the present work in the same company or are partners. Then the work becomes higher than resentment, pain, desire for revenge and other "side effects" of separation. But in some cases, it is easier to quit your favorite job than to establish contact with exes.

stay friends after breaking up
stay friends after breaking up

Mutual friends. If a couple walked in the same company for a long time, then after their separation, friends will have to choose with whom to continue communicating. This spoils the quality of communication within a group of people, provokes rumors and conflicts. If company is important for young people, and the parting did not happen for serious reasons (betrayal, betrayal, etc.), then staying friends is a completely logical decision.

Mutual benefit. No matter how mercantile it may sound, but if the former (or former) is a specialist in something (for example, a good lawyer or a plumber), then you will not want to refuse free help out of friendship. Therefore, some couples who have not caused much pain to each other during their relationship are building friendships with an eye to the future. What if you need something?

The pitfalls of deciding to be friends after a relationship3

In some cases, the exes who remain in the friendship experience unpleasant moments. The main ones are:

  • Jealousy and a sense of ownership;
  • Difficulty in a new relationship;
  • Awkward conversations, taboos in communication;
  • The risk of stepping on the same rake.
friends after breaking up
friends after breaking up

The couple broke up, but decided to continue communication. They correspond on social networks, call up or even discuss the latest events over dinner in a cafe. The topics of conversation can be different: work and hobbies, mutual acquaintances and even memories from a common past. But there comes a moment when one of the couple will get a new second half and tell their former partner about it, in all colors, with compliments and eyes shining with happiness.

What will happen? A tiny percentage of the exes will really be happy and wish them happiness. But the majority will wake up a sense of ownership. The friend will begin to compare himself with the new half of the ex, feel resentment and may confuse this feeling with love that has not yet faded away. This will only confuse both partners and probably ruin the relationship.

Communication with the former is fraught with consequences for new love relationships. Even if the person no longer has any feelings for the former, except for friendly ones, the new passion is unlikely to be delighted with such a relationship. Both men and women will have jealousy if their second half has a previous lover in a close circle. Especially at the beginning of a relationship, when there is still no guarantee that passionate feelings will not flare up between the separated people. Therefore, simple friendly correspondence with a "hero" from the past can lead to conflicts in new relationships.

Here you need to think: is the person ready to sacrifice new relationships, for the sake of those that, in fact, have already sunk into the past?

Let's part friends
Let's part friends

Awkward conversations and "sharp corners" in communication emerge from the previous two factors. Any conversations that in one way or another relate to the joint past of partners can be attributed to a taboo. For example, discussing a dog they bought together, or talking about a new mate. This will burden communication, then why is it necessary at all?

There is another scenario when the former partners cannot build new relationships for a long time, but they continue to communicate. In such situations, the risk increases that partners will again see attractive features in each other.

In confirmation - a survey conducted in Germany by the public opinion research fund EMNID. He showed that 60% of men and 43% of women are willing to make love with a former partner. Moreover, every fifth young man is ready to resume a relationship, and not just confine himself to having sex for friendship. Of the girls, only one in 16 is ready to give relationships a second chance.

This is especially true for people with excellent compatibility in bed. It will seem like it's just fun, but confusion will soon appear. It will be very difficult to combine sex and friendship, especially for a girl, because the weaker sex by nature is inclined to become attached to sexual partners. The couple themselves will not understand how they turned from the former into friends, and then into lovers, the participants will begin to get confused in their feelings … In general, sheer gibberish.

is it possible to part as friends
is it possible to part as friends

When is it impossible to remain friends? 4

The experience of psychologists shows that in some cases it is stupid to be friends after an affair. Several situations apply.

The first is when in a relationship one of the partners suffered from pathological jealousy. It will remain even in a friendly format of relations. The second - if the "backbone" in the relationship was only sex, and there were no high-quality communication and common interests. Third, one of the partners experienced moral or physical abuse from another. Friendship will only intensify the resentment or become the basis for new insults.

Another fact "against" friendship between the ex is the lack of respect or interest in the person. The attitude towards him will not change with a change in the format of communication, it will become burdensome and uninteresting.

In pairs, only one of the partners often becomes the author of the idea of ​​“parting as friends”. And the second agrees, because he still has feelings for the first and does not want to lose it. Mentally, he will always return to the times when everything was fine, regret unfulfilled dreams and plans. It will be much more painful if the object of suffering is nearby. Therefore, in such situations it is better not to suck "friendship" out of your finger.

stay friends after breaking up
stay friends after breaking up

Well, and most importantly - if one of the couple suffered from addiction (games, alcohol, drugs), and his companion was tired of fighting this, then friendship will not help in any way. It will only aggravate the situation and return the soreness from which the person wanted to escape.

When is friendship after a relationship just a cover?

There are situations when people cannot part, and in order to somehow maintain the relationship, they come to the decision to remain friends. Often, it is just a cover for the couple's true motives.

Sexual affection

The erotic background can be a serious deterrent. This manifests itself in "accidental" touches of hands or other parts of the body, far from friendly kisses, etc. Girls try to look as sexy as possible with their ex, make up and get ready for meetings as if they were on dates. Men are invited to the cinema, to sit in a restaurant, to take a walk in the park. In general, this resembles the candy-bouquet period and cloudes the minds of former partners.

what does it mean to part friends
what does it mean to part friends

Solution: Understand your feelings. Is the breakup really necessary, or did the lovers just rush with it?

Household connections

This applies to couples who have lived together for a long time, but do not have children. It's been a few months now, and the girl still hasn't picked up some things from her ex's house? She probably just doesn't want it. Many of these situations: financial support, seeking help, caring (for example, helping during an illness) can indicate that the relationship is not all over and the partners need each other.

It is necessary to understand: is it just a fear of being alone, or a real attempt to maintain a relationship? Partners must weigh the pros and cons of the novel and make the final decision.

Jealousy games

A girl or a guy is afraid to hear about each other's new chosen ones, avoiding talking about them (if a new relationship has emerged). There is also a reverse pattern of behavior - one of the ex all the time tells the past partner about how happy he is with the other in order to cause jealousy.

if you stay friends after breaking up
if you stay friends after breaking up

To understand this situation, you need to analyze your true feelings for your new partner. Is it really an attraction, or is it done for the evil of the former? If the first option is to end the relationship with the ex. If the second - stop torturing the new companion / companion.

5 star couples who managed to part as friends

The decision "let's part friends" was made by many star couples, absolutely not embarrassed. Today they serve as an example of how, even after a long marriage, to maintain mutual respect and positive emotions for each other.

Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony6

This couple has been married for 7 years and have twin children in common. For the public, the news of their divorce came as a surprise, because quarrels and marital problems were never paraded. Jennifer, in an interview, said that from now on she would love only herself. But the paparazzi often see her with her ex on family holidays or outings with children. Apparently, they managed to maintain a friendly relationship.

what does it mean to be friends after breaking up
what does it mean to be friends after breaking up

Courteney Cox and David Arquette7

The couple lived together for 14 years, and after the divorce they remained friends. They have a common daughter who often spends time with both parents. Moreover, in interviews, both Courtney and David always praise each other. She openly declares that she loves him as a friend. The ex-husband considers her a wonderful person and an "incredible woman."

break up friends after a relationship
break up friends after a relationship

Demi Moore and Bruce Willis8

With 3 daughters and 13 years of marriage behind them, the couple still broke up. But even during Demi's next marriage (to Ashton Kutcher), "die hard" often visited them. And after their divorce, Bruce visited the ex-wife's house, probably to support. Rumor has it in the press that the actor even bought a house near his ex-wife. Apparently, the couple had warm friendly feelings for each other.

stay friends after relationship
stay friends after relationship

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis9

For 14 years of marriage, the couple had two children. When the first rumors about parting appeared, both partners denied it in unison. And even when the civil marriage came to an end, Johnny Depp said in an interview: "Vanessa is a woman who will always be present in my life."

end the relationship with friends
end the relationship with friends

Monica Bellucci and Vincent Cassel10

Monica, in numerous conversations with journalists, has repeatedly said that their relationship with Vincent was passionate and unpredictable. For the sake of the children, whom both parents love very much, they remained close friends. Now the paparazzi see them together not on the red carpet, but with children on walks.

Staying on friendly terms after an affair isn't always as easy as it seems. But if it is necessary for both partners, especially those who have common children, then it is quite possible to establish contact and become friends.

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