Misunderstandings In Relationships: How To Achieve Mutual Understanding And Trust?

According to statistics, more than 73% of couples get divorced due to a lack of mutual understanding. The registry office gives frightening statistics, because this is the percentage of those who have been married for less than a year. Often, such problems concern not only married couples, but also lovers who cannot find mutual understanding in a relationship. Hence quarrels, scandals, ridiculous accusations and constant disputes about the primacy, who did more or less for each other.

The content of the article

• 1 Formation of psychotype character
• 2 How to find points of desire?
• 3 Why misunderstandings cannot be avoided?

Psychologists believe that the problem lies in the upbringing, the family of each person. She becomes the prototype of a relationship to look up to. The character and thoughts, actions and arguments also affect the behavior of the spouses, however, no reason for misunderstanding led to a divorce.

Formation of psychotype character

This was said back in the Stone Age, when a man was given the role of a breadwinner, and a woman was a keeper of the hearth. Over time, emancipation took place, which neither one nor the second is happy about. If friendship between women does exist, then it is not as strong as male solidarity. Therefore, in many ways, relationships are built on uprising: mom taught pride, dad taught his son to bend his line. As a result, such individuals cannot step over themselves, but they are able to go over their heads if the end justifies the means. It would seem that husband and wife are one Satan, but many forget to support and hear each other.

A woman sees herself in the world differently. Her role is difficult. Of course, these are the stages of puberty, motherhood and childbirth, breastfeeding, menopause and a bunch of problems that accompany it. In parallel, she is obliged to create comfort, family, study and work as if she had never given birth, and love, as if she had never been betrayed.

The man believes that his purpose is to create a family and feed the heads that live there. He demands to himself a lot in return for such care. There is the wisdom of the Eastern peoples: a man should appear in the house as a guest, and then go to his home - to work. It is right when the wife is raising children, and really not before him. However, spoiled guys believe that the whole world owes them.

Interesting! If you ask a man if a woman should work, he will say yes. But he does not even understand that the girl is checking his upbringing in the family.

When a man takes a woman for a slave, believing that she is obliged to work, this indicates that he is not able to provide for his family on his own, shifting part of his responsibilities onto his wife. The same attitude was in the family, where the mother worked and helped the father fulfill his only mission. Girls are more likely to be cherished, restricted, and protected from domestic responsibilities. Therefore, in many ways, men require maternal love, feminine care and attention from a spouse, even if this is impossible.

How to find points of desire? 2

Almost every guy has faced misunderstandings from a woman. She asks for help with a headache, he goes for a medicine. This is logical, only sometimes a woman with her requests hints at completely different actions. This is where the hardest part begins:

• There are no rules and secret words that women recruit to communicate with each other or to mock men;
• There are no phrases that mean something else;
• There are no intelligible timbres, tones that would indicate an alternative request.

Often men start looking for a catch when a girl asks for something. Too simple, tempting, interesting, it means there is a catch or a hidden topic somewhere. No, it's just that girls sometimes get tired of ineffectual hints, speaking everything directly. A man can do it his own way if taking out the trash seemed too mundane to him. He will go and buy food and medicine, but he cannot take out the garbage.

Therefore, it is easier with them, especially when it comes to actions. But when a man is about to surprise him, he behaves strangely, and the girls see it. Either it is better to hide or not to pretend. From the side, the stupid creature seeks to hit the female, trying to dive in the corners, portraying a real secret agent.

Psychologists recommend going through several steps to find common points of "common ground" for understanding and strong relationships:

• Never be silent about the problem. If a small lump grows to the size of a snowball, then scandals cannot be avoided. Quarrels begin, and the spouses remember to each other what they did not know about because of the vow of silence.
• Always talk and learn new events from each other's life. So everyone can see the behavior of the satellite in a given situation. If he is angry, and the day before they talked about a reprimand from his superiors, one can already assume the reasons for the behavior.
• Always tell the truth about your desires. This applies to women. A man perceives the words of a request as a whole, without questioning his guesses. Women are more likely to pay attention to detail. If it seems to him that he understands at a glance, let him remain with his opinion. Next time you need to chew on your wishes in detail. It's boring, yes. I wish he could read minds. Alas, in real life this is impossible.
• Scandals can be avoided through negotiations. Everyone says what he doesn't like. The decision is made in a day, when both sleep with this thought.

Sometimes women do not agree with the opinion of the spouses, from which they begin to plan revenge. A cold dish is served at the most inopportune time, when he cannot even think of why he received a portion of insults and grievances. Here, as mentioned above, the first stage of snowball growth begins.

Why misunderstandings cannot be avoided? 3

The most important thing is to know in advance and not to create illusions that the wife will be submissive, the girl obedient and will choose long skirts at gunpoint and cook borscht under the supervision of her mother-in-law. A man has no right to allow third parties into bed, kitchen and relationships. This is a wave that will destroy everything in its path. Someone will cheat him, he will tell his wife, but she will not understand why her husband became different overnight. And it’s difficult to explain such behavior, because you have to admit that I was led by the persuasion of friends.

During the period of a candy relationship, men become blind, girls try to please. Then new steps are born, on which everyone climbs as best he can. The true face is revealed, and there is no need to be surprised. The man knew perfectly well that a girl does not always wear dresses, heels and curls. You need to get used to thinking differently - she is also a person and has the right to be herself without embellishment.

Women should also know in advance: boys are always children who have been torn from their mother's breasts. In order not to build illusions and not cherish hopes of getting a prince, you need to set the task of meeting a real man. He can walk in a tracksuit, not raise financial topics, but be very loyal and devoted to the girl he loves. It is more expensive than any surface cream that will melt from stress and misunderstanding.

Mutual understanding in a relationship does not appear just like that, it is not built and is not born after the anniversary of the years lived together. Adults know how hard it is to find a common language, but for someone it is easy. This does not mean that you need to look for the very one, on the contrary. We need to work on ourselves and allow people to make mistakes so that they can assess the situation, and not fight for their truth.