Table of contents:
- Both old and sorry to throw away
- Deja vu after a few years2
- Immature relationship3
- Feeling insecure4
- Unforeseen proximity5
- Dealing With Jealousy 6
Video: 5 Reasons Why You're Jealous Of Your Ex And How To Deal With It
Everyone has questions to the world and to themselves, and many answer the reflection in the mirror “everything is in order, you will still be happy”. And it seems like you are right - you have an education, even a higher one, there is a prestigious job, life experience, genetics did not offend your figure and face, but still, you come across men who are not quite right for you.
The content of the article
- 1 Both old and sorry to throw away
- 2 Deja vu after a few years
- 3 Immature relationships
- 4 Feeling insecure
- 5 Unforeseen proximity
- 6 How to deal with jealousy?
Someone has a conditional distance, someone does not study at all, but from the age of 16 he works, others have such little experience that it seems - here he is, an endless edge of work. As a result, he finds another, less pretty, experienced, beautiful. And you sit and think why I'm jealous of an ex-boyfriend who is a hundred times worse than a new man. This one is more worthy, better. But somehow it doesn't stick.
Both old and sorry to throw away
Approximately so thinks every third girl who cannot break up with a guy for various reasons. This is due to female selfishness. Here he is here, but there is no sense or use. Sits, plays tanks, does not wash dishes, earns little, but good at sex. And after all, the bastard will find someone better if need be. Such men are never ignored. They always have a backup plan and solutions for all occasions.
“From my own experience I can say that I had a husband. Neither take nor give. The work is so-so, by a happy coincidence the child was born. The salary was enough for a couple of weeks, he practically lived as a baby, nursed at night, if forced. And the marriage did not last two years, divorce, alimony. Of course, no one pays the latter, but forgot to think about the child.
Almost five years have passed, and the feeling of possessiveness has not faded away. It lasted a long time, until I myself began to forget him. The first year was insanely insulting, painful from the thought that he was so somewhere else. And it wasn't because of this that they got divorced. And talked after parting. Strange, when nothing could be returned, he abruptly began to ask back. It was then that my pride allowed him to be forgotten."
This means that everything has its limit. You can't live with thoughts of constant duty: at work, in a marriage that has collapsed. There is a beginning and an end. And while this will live in the heads of women, no good ending should be expected. Women, by their nature, cannot cut anything out of their hearts, especially when a child is sleeping nearby, an exact copy of the father. And God forbid to fall for him because of the similarities and similarities of characters.
Deja vu after a few years2
A separate category of accidents includes situations when a girl does not see her lover for a long time. After a few months or years, she sees him on the horizon, feelings flare up and again wonders why I am jealous of my ex. It seems that so much time has passed, and again and again I want to take it back and not share it with anyone.
Psychologists call this phenomenon an unfinished emotional relationship, when you live latently and wait, hope that they will resume, and the ex will return to the status of your current boyfriend. If burnout occurs against the background of a lack of meetings, then after a while everything will return. Time heals only grievances, but the brain does not let go of positive memories.
Because of this, girls are immersed in a mode of unconscious expectation, when there are no obvious hopes, but faith is present. He is not always the last to die, and rarely goes anywhere. In order not to torture yourself, you need to be clearly aware that everything ends. If you do not get out of this state, you can forget forever that there is a personality within you, and you are not just half of someone from the past.
There was such a song “I don’t love you, but …”, and this “but” is always fired somehow unexpectedly. Young people are together, but they are constantly not satisfied with something. Selfishness appears. A sense of possessiveness is born against its background. Endless dependence is born, and when the couple breaks up, emptiness appears. There is depression syndrome, and you don't want to live, and you eat ice cream like the last time.
And this lasts for several weeks or months, because then the girl finds something better, or steps on the same rake. A solid circle is closed, and is no longer able to discern who is who. Further, probably, it is not worth developing the topic and explaining what happens when two guys flash before the eyes of a loving girl.
- Jealousy of the ex can come with attacks, periodically. Receptors are affected by which someone experienced feelings of hatred and love. Only we are not talking about real sympathy, since a woman is not able to distinguish between love for the good and for the sake of selfishness.
- When a man loves, he likes his condition next to women;
- And when she loves, she loves the way a man thanks her for dinner, cleaning and a pleasant evening.
This is the difference why someone can leave the relationship, as from a bad game, and someone suffers.
The case when you do not want to let go of the “reason” to be beautiful. After parting, the girl tries to get in shape, go shopping. The girl does not come out of a sick relationship, but floats out like a latrine, sorry. Depression begins, because the person who pushed her, moved her forward, simply disappeared.
Imagine that there is a man who is unable to do anything himself. Neither find a job, nor cook soup. And here is a woman who knows everything, can do everything. And when the wife goes on vacation, panic begins: who will cook and maintain the house? Often in such a relationship, a girl becomes a nanny or a mother. It hurts and hurts, because you don't go to bed with a man.
But for girls it is important not to lose a sense of self-confidence. There are couples in which a man forbids wearing dresses or skirts, because he is not confident in himself and is afraid that his beloved will be taken away.
He tries not to show it, allowing himself to give birth to inferiority complexes in the girl. She thinks her legs are crooked, the dress is aging and so on. And if he still talks about age, how unsuccessfully the jacket sits, or what crooked legs are in these high-heeled shoes … write it’s gone.
In such a relationship, a man zombies a girl by controlling her. What if she wants to be more beautiful and better? We need to do something about it. And after parting, she still does not dare to put on her favorite costumes, outfits in which she was beautiful.
If the relationship was truly valuable, the man and woman fully opened up in bed, the breakup is a serious blow. It’s not just addiction, but real trauma. Here it is already worth talking about the blocking syndrome - you cannot build relationships until the previous ones are completed. The girl cannot get close to anyone, aggression is growing, a feeling of guilt for not preserved illusions of happiness.
Sometimes there is a feeling of revenge, as if he took away from her the opportunity to be happy and satisfied. And if this lasted for several years, then the opportunity to become a wife and mother. The girl ceases to trust men, to appreciate the opportunity to meet. All attempts to forget sick love are in vain. Then the following happens:
- The girl becomes a silhouette who pursues the young man in order to interfere with his personal life;
- In every possible way he gets underfoot, gets in where he is;
- Even when she is married, the former has no peace.
Any bullying goes on that would help her forget about a great relationship. It is only necessary to treat it with new love. As they say, a wedge is a wedge, but there is a possibility that in spite of happiness you cannot build. In this regard, many women are trying to make former lovers out of them, despite the fact that both can already live in families and raise children.
Dealing With Jealousy 6
Jealousy arises from observing a partner who is happy with another. Complexes are born due to a feeling of inadequacy: he felt good with his ex, but tastes have changed, and he already likes brunettes, not blondes. One gets the impression that he did not live in full force, but was looking for the very one while he allowed himself to be loved. For ex-girlfriend it is recommended:
- Analyze the personality - how much better it is, what complexes there are, and what is still worth working on;
- What good, what character traits can be called ideal for a relationship;
- Start the transformation, at least buy a bag, at least make a new hairstyle.
They say that the image helps not only to change the appearance, but also to change inside. When a new person appears in the mirror, then you already see another guy next to her. An image is created that somewhat matches. Psychologists also recommend writing bad character traits on paper:
The first few weeks you need to work on them in order to distract something from thoughts and glamor. If the figure has suffered, there is a reason to make it better. Only this should be done not for the former partner, and then run to him, but for the future family, which will be created with a new man.
According to statistics, more than 55% of women suffer from inferiority complexes: they highlight dissatisfaction with their appearance and abilities. If the guys reproached the girls for being nervous, they may believe that this character trait is the fault of the breakup. Although in ordinary life, the girl is too calm.
Therefore, it is recommended to monitor what caused the breakdowns, and is it really her fault. Perhaps the man made her constantly nervous, making her crazy.
And when the work on the mistakes is done, the woman herself will be able to answer the question of why she is jealous of her ex-boyfriend. Oddly, less than half of ex-wives don't care about ex-husbands at all. Probably, the reason for this is knowing the value of oneself, a vision of clarity and not a distorted idea of what he really is.
Young girls should learn to appreciate themselves so that after quarrels and scandals they do not have to apologize for their reaction to his unintelligible actions. And the further into the truth, the easier it is to get out of the state of a coma in love.
We also recommend that you find out - how to stop hating your ex? We will talk about this in the next article!
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