Relationship Expert Tells How To Find Love

Table of contents:

Relationship Expert Tells How To Find Love
Relationship Expert Tells How To Find Love
Video: Relationship Expert Tells How To Find Love
Video: Relationship Expert REVEALS How To Get The Guy & FIND LOVE | Matthew Hussey & Lewis Howes 2023, February
the couple closes each other's eyes
the couple closes each other's eyes

We live in a world full of romantic movies, songs and celebrations. Full of loving couples occupying spring streets faster than the last snowdrifts are melting. It seems that everyone around is only thinking about how to find a boyfriend / girlfriend / husband / wife / second husband. No, no, let the thoughts creep into my head that it would be nice to find a mate.

The content of the article

  • 1 More action
  • 2 Places to know
  • 3 Look around
  • 4 Do not look for madness
  • 5 Positive attitude
  • 6 Personal time
  • 7 Sexual interest is not a landmark
  • 8 Opposites are dangerous
  • 9 Furious Optimist
  • 10 What do you want yourself?
  • 11 Luggage
  • 12 Respect yourself

On the eve of Valentine's Day, the world goes completely crazy. One gets the impression that the absence of the notorious second half is almost a mortal sin. And these sympathetic views of friends and distant relatives! Sometimes you want to “find yourself someone already” so that everyone will unhook from you.

We still do not recommend that you look for a mate just because someone believes that the root of all your problems lies in your loneliness. If at this stage in your life you enjoy free swimming, that's great.

But if you are ripe for a romantic relationship and are ready to go in search of love, use our tips.

More actioni

“Love will come unwittingly,” “yours will come to you,” “the right people will themselves enter your life,” and blah-blah-blah. It's so comfortable to live when you believe in a caring fate and don't do a damn thing.

Pepper Schwartz is a relationship expert and professor of sociology at the University of Washington. And she does not share such an irresponsible approach to her own personal life. “There is a well-known statement that you will find a job when you least expect it. Well, it really happens. But very rarely. Most people who believe this end up unemployed. In my opinion, this is a convenient excuse for the fear of leaving the house and making an effort to achieve a goal. Yes, anything can happen. But this strategy is far from the best,”Pepper concludes.

Stop waiting for the gifts of fate. Take action. But let's dispense with desperation and fierce attempts to establish a relationship with the first person who comes to hand.

couple in love
couple in love

Places to know2

More often attend events where you can meet like-minded people. Perhaps something interesting is being planned at the company you work for? Take the initiative. You will also have the chance to take a fresh look at your colleagues. Perhaps your happiness is already under your nose?

Schwartz also advises paying attention to dating sites. This is a great opportunity to meet a dozen guys or girls in one evening. If you are already using a site or application, but nothing comes of it, change your tactics. Work on your profile or try a different dating platform.

Look around 3

Cool guys and girls walk by you every day, but you don't even notice it. After all, you glared at your smartphone! Bela Gandhi is the founder of the Smart Dating Academy in Chicago. And she is simply amazed at the illogical behavior of the guys and girls who turn to her. They complain about loneliness and the inability to find their soul mate, but at the same time they spend most of their time with their heads in their devices.

girl kissing a guy
girl kissing a guy

Doing this at a party where you can meet someone is not at all forgivable! Look around. Hold your gaze on the person you like and smile. This is a kind of signal that you are ready to meet.

Do not look for madness4

Romance and emotional storms are good for dating. But in the long run, you need a stronger foundation for the relationship. “Look not for romance, but for partnership,” advises Tina Tessina, a psychotherapist in California.

“Look for a person who is ready not only to take, but also to give. Someone who listens to your opinion. A person who cares about your needs and desires,”advises Tina.

Positive attitude5

One of the main reasons why you still haven't met your love is the absence of the most important love. To myself, to my life. Schwartz draws attention to the fact that the search for a happy relationship begins with working on yourself. Would you like to meet a person like yourself? Would you like to meet him? Would you dare to meet on the street?


“If you’re unhappy, negative, don’t love yourself and broadcast it to the world, you are depriving yourself of the chance of a good acquaintance,” says Schwartz.

Finally take the situation into your own hands. If you cannot cope with your condition on your own, contact a specialist. Play sports and stop waving your hand to your food.

“The bottom line is that any big business requires training. Everything is the same here. Work on yourself. As long as you are alive, there is always something to strive for,”recalls Schwartz.

Personal time6

“After a divorce or breakup, it's important to spend some time alone with yourself,” says Nicole Baras Feyer, divorce specialist and coach at Start Over Smart in Westport, Connecticut.

couple in the field
couple in the field

“You will be in great shape, you just need to give yourself time to recover from the painful breakup. Reflect on what went wrong. You also need time to re-find yourself. Otherwise, there is a great risk of repeating past mistakes,”warns Nicole.

Sexual interest is not a guideline7

The spark does not always run through with lightning speed, in the very first seconds of acquaintance. The strongest relationships sometimes develop very slowly. And the once passionate relationship quickly fizzles out.

Sexual interest is important, but you shouldn't discount a person just because the first impression is not so strong.

Opposites Are Dangerous8

Opposites attract. But the relationship of these opposites can be very difficult and exhausting.

paper heart
paper heart

“People who have a lot in common find it easier to build healthy and strong relationships,” says Dr. Gail Seiltz, a New York City psychiatrist. The easier it is for you to communicate with each other, the less likely conflicts will arise.

Furious Optimist9

“Trust that you will meet your person and find your happiness at any cost. You are worthy of love and it will enter your life. Required. All you have to do is date and connect with people. And everything will definitely work out. Believe it,”Bela Gandhi advises.

Charge yourself with this crazy optimism. This will make it easier for you to date. What despair? You are not going to give up! Everything will definitely be fine! Gandhi advises to communicate with three to five people at the same time. Gradually, you will understand which of them suits you best. Bela immediately clarifies - communicate, but not sleep.

What do you want? 10

Need a lot of personal space? Or do you want to spend all your free time with a partner? Are you a very tactile person or don't like hugs and "other nonsense"?

couple looking at each other
couple looking at each other

“There are no right or wrong answers, everything is okay with you. But you need to sort out your own desires. Otherwise, you simply will not be able to convey them to your future partner. You can only get what you want from each other if you understand yourself,”explains Tessina.


“You can have fun with anyone as long as you take precautions and have safe sex. But remember that every person you let into your life, into your home and your wallet, brings a certain baggage with them,”recalls Tessina.

At the beginning of a relationship, we try to look better than we really are. The real picture begins to emerge a little later. Remember this. Take off your rose-colored glasses before things get too far.

couple looking up
couple looking up

Respect yourself12

Trying to get the attention of someone who is in no way interested in you is a huge waste of time. Accept that this person is not the right person for you and move on.

PS A positive attitude is half the battle. Decisive action and the ability to overcome your fears is the other half.

Popular by topic