Psychologist's Advice On How To Stop Being Jealous Of A Guy

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Psychologist's Advice On How To Stop Being Jealous Of A Guy
Psychologist's Advice On How To Stop Being Jealous Of A Guy

Video: Psychologist's Advice On How To Stop Being Jealous Of A Guy

Video: Psychologist's Advice On How To Stop Being Jealous Of A Guy
girl yells at a guy
girl yells at a guy

When we are in a relationship and care for someone, we like to feel that the other person belongs to us. At best, the other half will feel care, smoothed by tenderness. At its worst, this will be perceived as an unhealthy, tedious and potentially offensive extreme. For most people, the perception of a person who belongs to them stems from the love for him, the closeness that they share, and the important role that people play in each other's lives. However, overprotection almost always breeds jealousy.

The content of the article

  • 1 How jealousy affects romantic relationships
  • 2 Honestly admit how jealousy affects your relationship.
  • 3 What jealousy signals
  • 4 Pay attention to your flaws
  • 5 Confidence is the key to getting rid of jealousy
  • 6 Look into your past
  • 7 Be honest with your boyfriend
  • 8 Use Adequate Skills to Cope with Difficulties

How jealousy affects romantic relationshipsi

This feeling goes against the basic principles of building a trusting, healthy union. It is impossible to maintain a state of unconditional love and trusting relationship when jealousy weakens the ability, provoking the emergence of a variety of negative emotions. It is also impossible to be truly sincere when jealousy becomes a problem, as it causes tension in the relationship. Jealousy fuels distrust, and in the end it becomes difficult to tell the truth even to get rid of simple suspicions.

You cannot give your partner the opportunity to freely live your life when you yourself are constantly jealous. What's more, you won't be able to truly live your own life when you're dealing with a jealous partner. Jealousy can penetrate all areas of life, interfering with the enjoyment of all its manifestations. When jealousy comes first in a relationship, neither side wins.

Normal jealousy is acute pain that anyone can usually deal with on their own. Unhealthy jealousy occurs when a person begins to indulge this feeling and acts impulsively out of suspicion and insecurity. When insecurity in a relationship becomes overwhelming, jealousy can quickly escalate to paranoia and obsession, and thereby destroy the very relationships we are most afraid of losing.

People who are prone to intense jealousy or possessiveness often show signs of inadequacy or inferiority and tend to compare themselves to others. Jealousy, at its core, is a by-product of fear, fear of not being good enough, fear of loss. When this happens, the person may believe that the relationship is in danger, and as a result, it is impossible to distinguish the natural need for protection from irrational suspicion. In other words, it can be terrible.

the girl looks at the guy's phone
the girl looks at the guy's phone

Nevertheless, the first time we see jealousy flare up in a partner, we can consider her "cute" and think: "Wow, this person really loves me!" If it's healthy jealousy, these feelings will go away without any problems and will not negatively affect the relationship. Watch out for early signs of unhealthy behavior in a relationship, however, as this can exacerbate other negative factors.

However, there are good methods to help you stop being jealous.

Jealousy cannot be left unchecked. First of all, to figure out how to stop being jealous, you need to be honest with yourself and your boyfriend. When you understand what your jealousy is based on, it will help you develop your relationship in the right way.

Be honest about how jealousy affects your relationship2

If you ignore the problem, it still won't solve itself. Instead of pretending that you are not jealous or that your jealousy is not a problem, be honest. Evaluate your own feelings of insecurity and their impact on relationships. This is not always easy to accept, but remember that this is where a normal relationship begins.

the girl is following the guy
the girl is following the guy

What jealousy signals 3

Family psychologists recommend changing your point of view: treating jealousy not as a problem, but as a solution. This is an opportunity that allows you to learn something new about yourself. And you need to start by looking for the reasons, with the problems that your subconscious mind is trying to solve with the help of jealousy. If you are jealous that your boyfriend has eroded trust, then this is the real problem. If you're projecting your own insecurities onto your boyfriend, then you need to pay attention to this problem. If you're jealous of your boyfriend's success, it could be unhealthy competition. The reasons can be very different, but using jealousy as a solution to real internal problems, you can eventually get rid of it.

Pay attention to your flaws 4

To stop being jealous of your boyfriend, start with how you perceive yourself. What makes you insecure and jealous? Are you striving to be perfect? Or are you comparing yourself to others? This list is not needed in order to finally be convinced of your own worthlessness, but in order to find a starting point for starting work on yourself and relationships.

the girl pressed her rival against the wall
the girl pressed her rival against the wall

Confidence is the key to getting rid of jealousy5

Try to make some lists. In one write down the reasons for jealousy, in the other - what you can neutralize them (for example, uncertainty - confidence, distrust - faith). If you feel like your boyfriend's shadow, write down all the qualities that attract him to you. If you keep trying to compare yourself to other people, ordinary people or celebrities, stop looking at their Instagram accounts for a while. When you stop perceiving yourself as an inferior person, you can work on building self-confidence, which, as you develop, will supplant jealousy.

Look into your past6

Jealousy is often associated with past injuries. If it's an unresolved issue, such as childhood trauma or a failed relationship, find a way to get the support you need to overcome it. This can be the support of a best friend or professional help. Solving this problem can be an additional source of strength.

Be honest with your boyfriend 7

If you are trying to fight your jealousy, it hardly goes unnoticed. Chances are good that he will gladly contribute to solving this problem. By striving for normal communication, you will not only work on the relationship, it also means that you take responsibility for your behavior and do not mind if your boyfriend supports and helps you.

wife with rolling pin
wife with rolling pin

Use Adequate Skills to Cope with Difficulties8

Defeating jealousy can be very difficult, especially if there are no other alternatives for building relationships. If the guy does not give you a reason to suspect him of something (that is, he does not deceive you), you yourself must curb your jealousy. Admit that you don't really need it, you just got used to it. Take better care of yourself, take care of your physical, emotional and mental health. When you begin to pay more attention to different aspects of normal behavior, it becomes the norm and eventually replaces jealousy.

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