Table of contents:
- The main reasons for lonelinessi
- Oyster Syndrome2
- Victim Syndrome3
- The Princess and the Pea4
- Practical advice 5
Video: 20 Practical Tips On How To Arrange Your Personal Life
Well, what, girlfriend? Sitting up in girls and already unbearable to get married? All the girlfriends are in pairs, in bushes, in barns, and you have no luck? All clear! Your personal life is stagnant. In fact, this problem is solvable. You just need to work on yourself a little. This is what we will do.
The content of the article
- 1 The main reasons for loneliness
- 2 Oyster syndrome
- 3 Victim Syndrome
- 4 The Princess and the Pea
- 5 Practical advice
The main reasons for lonelinessi
In fact, the whole problem is in you. Not in men, not in the environment, not in education. You yourself nurtured loneliness.
Remember … you always wear the mask of well-being. No matter how bad and melancholy you are, no matter how much you want to strangle everyone who comes to you with questions, you always answer that everything is fine and wonderful. Life goes on as usual, no shocks and everyone is safe and sound. And only when you come home, you relax and sob into your pillow, tell the cat all your troubles and fall asleep with puffy eyes. What should others think? Yes, they all do not care deeply that you sleep in an empty and cold bed. Even close friends will not move until they know the true state of affairs.
Solution to the problem. First, stop pretending to be "positive on legs." And for what? When you periodically start showing others that you are in a gloomy mood, they are more likely to become interested in what is happening. People love gossip.
And if you directly declare that you need a man, be sure that he will be found in a short time. Secondly, do not hesitate to share everything that worries you with your friends. Believe me, they love to deploy rescue operations, which means that you will have an exciting pastime.
The "oyster syndrome" is directly related to age. The older a single woman gets, the stronger her desire to slam the shutters of her comfort zone, which gradually becomes smaller and smaller. As a result, not wanting to go out, you start to launch yourself. At first, too lazy to do a manicure, then the make-up goes into the distant past, and with them the head starts up - the hairstyle also goes into the furnace. And really, why all this if you don't have to go anywhere? And for a cat, you are already the most beautiful. But the worst thing is that the end of the wardrobe is coming. And where do grandmother's sundresses come from? A stole or shawl should be put on the shoulders: "otherwise it's chilly." Tracksuits, sneakers, jeans and T-shirts. That's all your outfits. Plus a backpack or a bag from "Magnet". So so perspective, right?
Solution to the problem:
- An urgent need to call friends and arrange a "fashionable sentence." All that concerns the female upgrade immediately put into practice. So what, what not for anyone! And where will this someone come from if your kind is worse than an atomic war?
- Find a hobby urgently. All kinds of retraining courses, gym membership, by the way, do you know how many men there are? That's it!
- Constant entertainment. Clubs, cinemas, exhibitions. There, too, there is an opportunity to pick up a standing copy!
- Meeting website. Why not? Well, yes, there through one assholes. But no one says that you need to urgently run on a date. Sit down, talk to a person through instant messengers. What if he's the same as you?
He's somewhere between hypocrisy and oyster syndrome. A kind of gradient. What is included in it:
- Nobody loves you
- Nobody needs you
- You cause ridicule
- Your appearance is poor
- You are only used
- Society rejects you
Sound familiar? Oh, how you love to feel sorry for yourself! Believe me, you are really not interesting to anyone in terms of pity. All their worries are up to their throats to still try to systematically destroy your essence. In fact, they love you, they need you, you are quite pretty to yourself, no one laughs at you, and even more so does not use. Except for the boss. But you have an employment contract.
Solution to the problem. Stop whining. You can't solve anything by whining. Redefine your surroundings. Most likely, you are deeply mistaken in your assessments.
The Princess and the Pea4
Don't you think you have a crown on your head? Stop watching all the nonsense that newfangled coaches, like Julia Pecherskaya, carry. She once said that "a man who earns less than 50,000 has no right to reproduce." And these ladies can teach how to arrange a personal life? They would rather bury her completely. The worst thing: if you live somewhere in the Urals, then 50,000 men there are only seen in leadership positions. But there the standard of living is different. They are all fools, these coaches.
Solution to the problem:
Stop listening to the ravings of rich ladies. Through one they are alone. And they themselves do not understand into which swamp they are pushing themselves
- Take off your crown. Well, is it true that you yourself can offer your ideal? Education? Cooking skills? Theatrical performance in the bedroom? It's all bullshit. See things soberly.
- And not only to convert, but also to stand out very effectively against the background of other women.
Practical advice 5
Well, now let's move on to specific actions. Everything that you are reading now is put together and reveals in more detail the essence of the main reasons for your loneliness. But what belongs to what - you can figure it out for yourself.
- Respect. First of all, start respecting men as a class. They also do not want to be alone, and they are also sure that all women are mercantile bitches.
- Praise. Men love to be admired and proud of. They have it since childhood. Inborn rivalry. And even if he mows a little somewhere, do not forget about the kind words.
- Self-esteem. If the men around you are behaving very frivolously - think about it. Most likely, you yourself are to blame. Either you allow it, or you are too almond. All that is needed is a complete change in behavior. Secretly: men love to be slightly upset. But there is no need to cross borders: no rudeness.
- Let's say the first date took place. Many ladies immediately turn on the Maryvanna regime. This should never be done. “Teach your spiders better than yours,” said Buratino. And he's right. It is unacceptable to pull back, to dictate your conditions, to make it clear that you are all such a rascal. A man must relax, prove himself. Better to walk around like a peacock than to stand like a first grader. How do you know, maybe he perceives you as a masterpiece, and is afraid to say a word, but here you are waving a pointer!
- The first date is a litmus test. If everything is done correctly, then the question of the second meeting is not worth it: it will either take place or it will get stuck in the textures of the future. If the meeting happened, then now you can show the negative. But without fanaticism: a rather light reproach in the eyes, meaningful silence, a sad sigh. Only, God forbid, to criticize harshly. Men are very intelligent creatures, they are soldiers, therefore, an intelligible explanation, correct and logical, will completely suit them and convince them not to do this anymore. Do not forget, we are talking about adequate individuals, and not about rednecks from the gateway.
- Training a man is a painstaking thing. Wrong - again you will while away the evening with the cat. Remember: men cannot immediately remember the entire amount of information. With him, you constantly need to consolidate what you have passed. So do not freak out if he once again betrayed some kind of pearl. Just remind him that you don't really like it. Everything falls on the subcortex for him.
- Do not forget: your task is not to "blind him from what was," but to help him demonstrate his best qualities. Just distinguish some points: no matter how beautiful the plumage he has, he must be able to build a nest. That is, handsome - handsome, and no one canceled the man's thrift.
- You yourself are not ideal! Do not cling to the manner of speaking, do not find fault with speech errors. Even if he accidentally swears, turn a deaf ear. You might think that she has never expressed herself in her life.
- Remarks are a separate line. Practice your skills as a teacher on children or younger relatives. The man has already been raised: mom, dad, society. If you don't like something, say it, but do not reproach. The same applies to family relationships. Remember: raising a man, you are raising him for another woman. The hour is not even, will get tired of your lectures and run away.
- Don't give up on new acquaintances. The fact that you went on a couple of dates doesn't mean anything. The active search stage allows you to spend an evening with no man. This will allow you to hone not only your flirting skills, but also teach you how to hear and understand men.
- Do you like it when people listen to you carefully? Men like it too! Always treat them with attention, listen to them and do not interrupt. Get interested and ask questions, even if you don't really understand the essence of the topic. And be patient, if the conversation is not particularly interesting, you will always have time to translate the topic.
- Pay attention to this point. If you are experiencing stress during 3 - 4 dates, then you should not continue further communication. Either leave the man in the friend zone, or “close the shop”. The point is to continue what is annoying. And don't try to convince yourself that he's good. He might be a nice person, but not yours.
- Men have one feature: the slightest sympathy in their direction causes a spiritual erection. Draw boundaries in this matter. A man must understand that the willingness to communicate and the willingness to have sex are completely different things. Well, that's how they are …
- Don't make a one-man party. Any well-mannered man will ask you questions in order to understand with whom he communicates. But, if you decide to devote the entire date to yourself to your beloved, meet a cat. And you don't need to be silent like a fish. In general, everything should be in moderation. She told me a little about herself, then she listened to him. Monologues are a bad thing.
- Forget about your ex. This is generally a bad topic of conversation. Asks - tell me. Only good points. Negative is not needed, it does not paint you. Men are highly susceptible to their masculine solidarity, and everything that you say bad will be deposited in his memory. Imagine, he will not draw any conclusions, except for one: you can also omit him …
- Theater of one actor. This is perhaps one of the stupidest undertakings one can imagine. It lies in the fact that you can start playing some role. Not necessary. Otherwise, you will be trapped. You will not be able to always build yourself out of "Madame Turandot" or "runaway bunny". Remain yourself right away, don't drive the picture. If a man falls in love with the image you have created, then the consequences can be unpredictable.
- Think over your appearance. It must agree with the meeting place. If you are invited to a picnic, then the cocktail dress will look more than silly. And more, more naturalness. Men don't understand extended nails and eyelashes. They do not accept tons of cosmetics, pumped lips and push-ups are alien to them. The less upgrade you have, the more attractive you are in his eyes. Important: smell and neatness. And then, if your relationship continues, he will still see you without makeup, and shaggy, and with a broken nail. Well, why all these body kits ?! No doubt, all this is necessary, but without fanaticism.
- Slow down. Even if a man has driven you crazy, do not cling to him like a tick. 3 hours, no more. And leave a note of understatement. If you drag out the meeting, and even bore him with your endless "chirping", then you risk not getting an invitation to a second date. We took a walk, drank coffee, and went home. You will have time to talk more.
- More smile and ease. Even if you are not a "jump-start", you do not need to build an impregnable citadel out of yourself. Funny - laugh, interesting - ask, you want to say - talk. Men adore incendiary, lively, natural in their emotions, women.
- Be ready to give a detailed answer to a very difficult question. Keep in mind that it will sound obligatory. You, too, have the right to ask him. What exactly do you expect from the relationship, what it should be, why do you need it. Just do not rush to talk about creating a family, that it would be high time, but the mother asks for her grandchildren. With such an answer, you will kill on the spot, in a bad sense. Men are afraid of the registry office like the devil of incense. So come up with a decent version.
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