Table of contents:
- What Science Says
- Vitamin Suffering2
- Guilt worm3
- Tablecloth road4
- Business time, fun hour5
- Refrigerator is the best friend6
- “The road is my home. And for love - this is not a place … "7
- Burn the bridges8
- Seclusion is harmful! 9
- Best Employee10
- What NOT to do 11
Video: 10 Tips On How To Get Over A Breakup With Your Loved One
Parting is a little death, as one song says. It is difficult to survive, but it is possible. True, not everyone succeeds in this, but let's not talk about the bad. We must try to do everything so as to become a phoenix, and not a dull turd in the hole.
The content of the article
- 1 What Science Says
- 2 Vitamin Suffering
- 3 Worm of Guilt
- 4 Tablecloth road
- 5 Business time, fun hour
- 6 The refrigerator is the best friend
- 7 “The road is my home. And for love - this is not a place … "
- 8 Burn the bridges
- 9 Seclusion is harmful!
- 10 Best Employee
- 11 What NOT to do
What Science Says
Love is a drug. The most real. The chemical bonds that lovers have are produced by two hormones: oxytacin and dopamine. They are also produced during heroin addiction. Well, and then by analogy: there is no drug - hello, withdrawal! Stress hormones are on the front lines. And they are lovers to walk through the systems of the body and make a riot.
As a result, immunity falls, as if decimated, the digestive tract arranges demonstration performances, the cardiovascular tract exercises wit and swings the heart attack swing. In general, the body begins a bacchanalia. It was then that a burst of messages from all those who were abandoned began: “I'm in the hospital, I'm dying, I'm in intensive care,” and stuff like that.
Most interestingly, physical pain is actually an illusion. These are games played by the offended brain. So, get off the pot, remove the bandage from the head and remove the Corvalol: everything is in order with the body. We start working on mistakes and rise from the hell of parting.
For any imbalance in the body, vitamins are taken. Suffering is a kind of vitamin. You need to suffer to your heart's content. Arranging an artificial circus Shapito, they say, "oh, yes, bullshit, I finally can't get it" is at least silly. If you don't cry now, then hysteria will shoot out at the most inopportune moment. Do you need it? Therefore, green light to tears, screams and screams can be given a microphone, serials in non-stop mode, sad songs in the background during the day. Secretly, the brain will not withstand this madness for a long time and will stop sprinkling salt on wounds. But you can't listen to compassionate connoisseurs who broadcast on the topic “parting is not a tragedy”! Let them go through the forest!
A worm, he is a worm. Everything is picking, digging, itching. The worm of guilt is the same. We crush the reptile on the vine! Blaming yourself is the last thing. The break does not happen in one second. This is not death. The decision to leave is nurtured for some time. Sometimes quite long. All this time, there is a process of awareness and understanding. It doesn't matter who initiated the breakup. Both go to the line. Only one sees her, and the other pretends not to notice the control points. It is then that the awareness of behavioral jambs begins, but the partner could not be silent, but point at them in time. Yes, both are responsible. Let not be the same, but both. The only thing you can do to help yourself overcome your guilt is to justify yourself.
Returning a partner is stupidity. Gathered a knapsack, put on bast shoes, tied a belt and go! Then piss off! First, you must have pride. Run after him. But this is on condition that the partner dumped into the sunset, because the moron. Secondly, if he leaves because of your jambs, then this is your problem. Before, you had to behave normally. Hanging weights on his legs, promising to improve, is useless. Trust has been undermined and as before it will not be anyway. Yes, and you will not correct yourself to the end, it is difficult to break yourself and not everyone can do it. So let him go in peace. This is his right. And a completely different person is waiting for you, who will accept all the quirks.
Business time, fun hour5
So, they yelled, sobbed, there are already bedsores on the back from endless felting on the sofa, and the priest does not fit into any jeans? So it's time to come back to life. In the end, go for another cake. But in fact, parting is a great opportunity to do those things that are gathering dust in the "long box". It is best if these are things that your partner did not approve. Dancing, gym, megabike assembly, bungee jumping, paragliding. Yes, whatever. Maybe you had a wild desire to get a dog? Well, start it up! You can already! In general, do and do everything that provoked protest and contemptuous "fi".
Refrigerator is the best friend6
You know, but at the time of parting, your best friend is the refrigerator! Many say that when they are under stress, nothing goes down their throats. Well, yes, I do not argue, a plate of borscht looks somewhat prosaic against the background of universal grief. And she will not help. What do you need now? That's right, oxytacin and dopamine. And to highlight these "friends" you need a treat! You can buy up the entire pastry department, ruin McDonald's or a sushi bar. Most importantly, do not deny yourself! And don't be afraid for your butt. If you move, go out into the street, wander with a mournful face in the park, then she will calmly sit in jeans and not try to go beyond the boundaries of what is permitted. Yes, nutritionists and fitness babies have already begun tossing slippers at the monitor, but, damn it, no one has helped to cope with a breakup better than sweets.You just have to feast on it without fanaticism and not forget about sports.
“The road is my home. And for love - this is not a place … "7
Cool, sad song by Chicherina and Bi-2 is a kind of hint. Backpack behind the back and forward, pave a route into the unknown. If possible, you need to go on a trip. Let it not be just a trip. Lying on the beach and howling at jellyfish is not a good idea. You need a journey that will trigger an adrenaline rush. This is a hike or rafting. In any city there are tourists in worn-out sneakers who organize such trips. So go to them! Believe me, when you go up the hill, behind a backpack of 40 kg, and there is still 10 km ahead, you will not have time for suffering. And how much pride you will get when you do it! It's winter and you think the hike idea is a failure? But no! There are plenty of hikes on winter routes. So don't come up with excuses, but get ready!
Burn the bridges8
So, the refrigerator is full, the backpack is assembled, it remains to burn the bridges. What is needed for this? Destroy all traces of your former love. Photos, videos, things, gifts, if they are not of particular value. Of course, the toad will strangle a diamond ring or give a nephew a drone, but a handbag or a belt can be given away or thrown away. Do not regret photos and vidos. What is their value? Is that only to show the grandchildren a muslin girl or a dashing hussar. But do you really think that your future partner will tolerate such a memory library? So throw it out, tear it out, erase it. By the way, you can print out a few photos, remember all the nasty things that were planted, get angry and gladly ruin everything. Into small pieces! And burn it in a plate! And dispel in the window! Super, huh?
Seclusion is harmful! 9
Sitting within four walls is the worst thing you can do. Remember your friends. Reconnect with those who were evicted by your partner. The guys will be happy to return to football evenings, and the girls will remember the "golden" days of shopping. So, call everyone who has not been around for a long time, invite them to visit, arrange parties. Just take pity on your neighbors and do not go boragoz after 23:00. If you don't have many friends, then become a volunteer. A great opportunity to find new like-minded people. Volunteering in hospices will show you real grief, and your problem will become insignificant in comparison with the misfortune of people, there will be a lot of opportunities to speak out to a stranger who will not only listen to you, but also give practical advice.
Do you know that time and work will grind everything? Plunge headlong into work. Set yourself a goal to be the best employee of the month, come up with a rationalization proposal, stay for overtime and substitutions. Such an attitude to work will give a lot: an increase, the favor of the bosses, an increase in salary or some kind of benefits. Well, if your company does not indulge in nishtyaks from the outset, like government agencies, for example, then you can go to refresher courses. And you will gain knowledge, and there are chances to change jobs in principle.
What NOT to do 11
Now let's talk about the mistakes you can make while trying to get over a breakup.
Remember, bad thoughts have no place in your head! Everything that is happening to you now happened to absolutely everyone. There are a lot of people around you who need you, love you. Just imagine what will happen to them if they lose you. In the movies, death from unhappy love looks romantic. You died, and your partner carries this cross all his life … But what a hell! He doesn't carry anything. He calmly eats, drinks, sleeps. His verdict is one: "Debilism!" That's all he has to say. Your family and friends will carry the cross. Or maybe you already have a child? What example will you set him? That cowardice and weakness are normal? That it is useless to fight and you need to drive yourself into the grave? All this is complete nonsense.
For some reason, many friends begin to advise this particular behavior model when parting. Fu, how stupid! You will earn nothing but a damaged reputation. You don't need to register on all dating sites right away. Don't try to build a new relationship right away. Yes, you need affection now, the bed is cold and there is no one to cook breakfast. But how many people will pass through your bed, how many will you fry eggs in the morning? Disgusting! Flowers do not grow on the trodden road. Remember this metaphor.
Leave social network alone
What are you pulling on endlessly social network? What are you trying to find on the page of the person who dumped you? Everything is fine with him, he lives a normal, full-fledged life in which you do not belong. Well, let him live on! Do yours! Just don't show on your profile how great your life is. And do not try to post tearful pictures and sayings on the page. Firstly, this behavior is from the series “Daisy kindergarten”. Second, it will not bring the partner back. Thirdly, he absolutely does not care about all these philosophical topics. No, of course, if you are now feeding pigeons at the foot of the Eiffel Tower, then it's a sin not to "post" such a photo. Post ordinary photos and pictures. No more.
Don't play detective
There really is nothing to do, how to arrange total surveillance. Ask friends, sniff out the latest news, look for an appointment, like, random. Bredyatina! Worse than trying to tell the new passion of the ex or ex, what "fu" he is. This is the limit of idiocy. But some go for such things. What drives them, only psychiatrists can understand. A healthy person will not stoop to this.
Don't touch your friends
Another point that many sin. When a couple is together for a long time, they have one social circle. It's about friends. After parting, some begin to claim their exclusive rights to them, share friends. Don't do that under any circumstances. The environment itself will make a choice with whom to stay. Someone will join your camp, someone will remain neutral, and someone will leave after the former. People have different values, different attachments. Don't judge those who leave. This is their right.
It is strictly forbidden to insult the departed. Consider that the person "died" for you. And about the dead, it's either good or not. So it is here. When you were building a relationship, it was your choice, your love, your decision. He was close to you. If you start pouring mud on a person, then you will automatically cover yourself. Remember, dirt may not reach a person, but it will remain on your hands. And such behavior can turn away from you those who decided to stay with you. Imagine for a second that they are sitting, listening to your lines and thinking about what awaits them if they decide to end the relationship with you. Such verbal diarrhea? So-so perspective.
Do not demand back what was given
It couldn't be worse when, after parting, relationships take the form of banking? Are you a bank employee? Demanding to return back all the gifts, no matter how expensive they are, is a terrible bad manners. If a person wants, he will return it himself. If he doesn't want to, let him stay with him. Even if he received a car as a gift. After all, gifts were given when everything was perfect. And they were given from the heart. Let them stay there. But you, in turn, do not declare pretentiously: "Take this …". Organize things wisely. Are you a girl and have a bunch of stuffed animals left? Well, stomp on the playground and give them to all the kids. Are you a guy and have a bunch of Lego bricks? Do the same with him.
Understand that the end of any story is always the beginning of a new one. Some time will pass, and you will easily remember this relationship, if at all. You will definitely have new ones that will be more mature, more productive. We all learn and gain invaluable experience by going through such an interesting quest as parting.