Secrets And Rules Of An Ideal Long-term Relationship In A Couple

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Secrets And Rules Of An Ideal Long-term Relationship In A Couple
Secrets And Rules Of An Ideal Long-term Relationship In A Couple

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Video: The secret to desire in a long-term relationship | Esther Perel 2023, January
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Ideal relationship
Ideal relationship

The idea of ​​a strong, happy, healthy relationship and the concept of an ideal relationship are often confusing and misunderstood. This does not mean that couples will not go through difficult periods in their common life path.

The content of the article

  • 1 Nothing is perfect
  • 2 Everything they hope for
  • 3 This imperfect he or she
  • 4 The reality of long-term relationships
  • 5 Love? What it is? And how does it work in a relationship?

Arguing, swearing, offended, scandalous - all these are natural components of life, and they should be expected when two people are united into one whole. But you can hardly find an "ideal" man, woman or relationship between them. Obviously, this whole concept is unrealistic.

Perfection, as you know, is unattainable. One of the reasons why this is not possible is that this concept has different meanings for everyone. What one person defines as “perfect” may be completely different from another's opinion.

Plus, perfection leaves no room for real life. It leaves no room for personality, for nuances, for those things that make people and relationships beautiful and ideal.

However, people may strive to find what they would consider “final” for their relationship. When a person enters someone's life and makes them understand why this did not work with anyone else.

As they get older, boys and girls grow and are raised with a model of what an ideal and happy relationship looks like. The parents themselves model the image of such a relationship, being an obvious example, or information comes through films, books, media.

It is important to understand that the ideal projection of a relationship during adolescence and adolescence does a disservice when people enter adulthood. Why? Because the pursuit of perfect modern relationships is the cause of many unhappiness and frustration for couples.

Young people may have all the ingredients to build strong and satisfying relationships, but they look right through them when they compare their relationships with other models. Despite all the signs and qualities of a good relationship and a wonderful partner, a person may not even recognize them, as he is in constant search for something perfect.

Nothing is perfect i

When young people take the first steps towards reunification, they, by inertia, compare their relationships with the relationships of their friends, relatives, various celebrities who, it seems, live in peace and harmony. Many expose their personal family life on social networks, share photos, videos, which gives the impression that their relationship is perfect, and the bonds of marriage are eternal and indestructible.

Their romantic, but at the same time insane actions, behavior, courtship, charge with energy of happiness, and I want to repeat their experience, to be in their place. But when these (quite recently, ideal relationships) disintegrate, the question arises: why? What caused it?

perfect couple
perfect couple

And the thing is that behind all this ostentatious surrogate of a supposedly happy life, difficulties, stress, depression, scandals and misunderstanding were hidden. She - turned out to be narcissistic and not economic, he - showed himself as a jealous, unprincipled dictator.

Solid flaws and no common ground. Breaking these bonds should be sufficient proof that there really is no such thing as a perfect relationship, because even this seemingly perfect relationship is coming to an end. And the sooner a person understands this, the faster he gets into a “happy life”.

There is also no ideal relationship in terms of the cited flaws, or rather, there are no two people without flaws. But such two can learn to support each other, through ups and downs, in sorrow and in joy, in sickness and in health, in wealth and in poverty, in order to be the perfect complement to each other, to perfectly match each other. Thus, it is in this context that ideal relationships can exist. They are not born or molded.

It takes the combined effort of both men and women, dedication to the relationship and the real test of time. Everyone should try and fulfill their own limit so that the union of two people remains strong and stable.

Relationships need understanding, communication, and some kind of compromise. Difficulties will always be present, but they are the ones who check the partners for "lice", and if they managed to cope with the obstacles that arose once, twice, then these two young people can already position themselves as a single, strong and independent unit of society.

understanding
understanding

Everything They Hope For 2

People very often are in constant search of a hypothetical and at the same time stable state of perfection. They are constantly not satisfied with what they already have: work, home, friends, lovers. They are obsessed with the idea of ​​finding the ideal in everything.

But it is foolish to believe in some kind of perfection that has a static character. Because life does not stand still, everything around is constantly evolving and changing. Tomorrow, everything will be different than today.

That same new home, new place of work, other friends or lover, will eventually go from ideal to a state of imperfection. Thus, the closest thing to perfection that can be achieved is the experience itself - a snapshot of a single moment or vision that is forever held in human minds - never evolves and never transforms.

And that's not exactly what people are looking for. Everyone wants something real, alive! And when it's real, it will never be perfect. But if people are ready to work on "improving" reality, this will be the maximum they ever hoped for, and the result will depend only on themselves.

lively emotions
lively emotions

This imperfect he or she3

The truth is, when it comes to wanting to find the “perfect man,” “the perfect woman,” or the “perfect relationship,” the search begins with the fantasy of “the ideal world where ideal people live”!

In the real world, people love and appreciate others, not for their perfection or lack thereof, but for the quality of life that people get if they find what they want. Likewise, the goal should not be to create an ideal life, but to live a life that is imperfect, but one that brings joy and satisfaction.

And when, for example, intimate relationships become difficult, this does not mean that a person is doing something wrong. Intimate relationships become more confusing and often more difficult when all the rules and conventions are observed: more time is devoted, difficult conversations are held, partners make compromises or sacrifice a lot for each other's good.

Resisting difficult moments - real moments - and taking them as direct evidence that something is wrong or that the man / woman is with the wrong person only adds to the difficulty. On the contrary, treating relationship difficulties as normal and sometimes even necessary gives people a chance for long-term success.

Again, nothing is “perfect”. To say that a person waits a whole life until his ideal soulmate arrives is an absolute paradox. People eventually get tired of waiting, so they risk someone, and through the power of love, compromise and devotion, they become soul mates that take almost a lifetime to perfect.

soul mates
soul mates

This concept really applies to almost everything in life. Over time, with a little patience and impartiality, this imperfect home turns into a cozy home, this imperfect work turns into a favorite job. This imperfect friend turns into a stable shoulder to lean on. And … this imperfect man (woman) turns into an "ideal" life partner.

Long Term Relationship Reality 4

Those who are or have been in long-term relationships will agree that it is not always rainbows and butterflies. These relationships are fraught with constant challenges and challenges that bring people closer and make the relationship stronger than ever.

Some have the misconception that there are only certain obstacles to overcome in a relationship in order to reach the point of perfection. And after this point is reached, any disagreements and lack of understanding in the relationship will disappear forever.

But this is an absolute delusion. People as well as situations are always changing, and it is constantly necessary to shape your relationships in light of these changes. Systematic work on the relationship is required so that both partners are satisfied with it.

Instead of focusing on achieving the perfect relationship, it is advisable to focus on achieving the ideal love. The kind of love that helps to grow, satisfies common needs and desires, and fulfills each other.

Ideal relationships exist on paper and in films, but when it comes to reality, human relationships come into play, which are much more complicated and confusing, since they are very much based on human emotions.

love
love

Human relations between a man and a woman in their very beginning tend to be idealized. They are represented by the union of two loving people who respect each other, trust each other, accept each other's shortcomings, and stay together, no matter how difficult the times in the relationship may be. But this is easier said than done, since life is never perfect.

It is from here that the tale changes to a hard reality. Relationships are forced to go through various stages, and after the initial period of love ends, feelings are tested through moments of misunderstanding, through jealousy, situations of mistrust and domination arise. This is the time that true love experiences.

Until that time, any relationship seems to be perfect. But soon most ties begin to break, and this only emphasizes that the two people did not love each other enough to weather the storm. Unfortunately, problems and difficulties take on more importance than love itself.

Love? What it is? And how does it work in a relationship? five

Love manifests itself in two areas, each of which feeds both partners, creating a kind of vicious circle of love. In the spiritual realm, love is self-awareness, bliss, unearthly connection, faith, freedom, and all the energy emanating from the human soul. In the physical world, love is respect, admiration, affection, fear for a partner, communication, support, and all material righteousness that is imposed on both partners.

confession
confession

Love - these are conversations until two in the morning, a morning greeting with a smile and a kiss, these are silly cartoons on weekends. It is a connection, a spark, something that attracts two people to each other. This is something that cannot be denied, repelled, from which it is impossible to hide. They are like-minded people who sometimes agree to disagree with each other, while respecting each other and boldly expressing their opinions. This is tenderness, sensuality, passion.

Love allows you to grow, develop, stand next to each other holding hands, walk head to toe through the thick of obstacles and difficulties. Even if no one believes in them, they go ahead. Both understand that these are late nights, hard work days, missed birthdays, missed business meetings, tears, laughter, broken hearts from resentment.

There may be days when everyone will feel like the dumbest idiot on the planet, but still, both of them will find peace and comfort in each other's smile or voice, on the other end of the line, at a great distance from each other. And everyone understands that except for a loved one, no one will bother once again to find out that everything is in order. Such a strong emotional connection is scary to hell, but if it is, then you have to hold on to it.

There are no perfect relationships, but every relationship has its own ideal moments, some last a few minutes, others a few days. And if you try, they will be quite enough to keep the relationship strong, long and prosperous.

And even if your paths diverged, you shouldn't avoid relationships because of bad experiences. Take note of past mistakes and explore the concept of "ideal relationship", and we will help you to overcome your fear of love further by link.

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