The Negative Impact Of Dating Apps On A Person

Dating site apps have taken the world by storm. But lately, researchers are increasingly wondering whether they can harm our psyche. Indeed, in the process of dating, users of both genders often have to deal with rejection. Communication itself in applications is superficial and short-lived.

The content of the article

• 1 The story of a girl from England: vague motives of users and spiritual emptiness
• 2 Expectation and reality
• 3 Scientific research: apps hit self-esteem
• 4 Source of anxiety and depression

The story of a girl from England: vague motives of users and spiritual emptiness i

After breaking up with her lover, 28-year-old Londoner Kirsty Finlayson decided to do what most people do - to try her luck in a dating app. However, the incessant stream of "nothing" talk made her feel empty.

“After I downloaded the app, I became much more sad,” she says. “It seems to me that disposability, which previously concerned only objects, has now become inherent in human relations. In the past, we could use a disposable shampoo or plastic cup. Now communication becomes the same: you start a conversation, communicate for a short time, and then part with the person forever. And so over and over again. " Kirsti further emphasizes that in such a situation it is especially difficult to distinguish those who want to pass the time from those who are looking for a truly serious relationship.

“It’s impossible to understand which of the users just wants to talk, and which is aimed at a serious connection. Now I spend about half an hour a day chatting in the application. But more and more often it seems to me that this time would be worth spending on something more pleasant and beneficial for my mental health."

Expectation and Reality2

The negative psychological effects have been reported by thousands of other dating app users around the world. For example, a 31-year-old gay American named Daniel. Ever since Daniel broke up with his partner 4 years ago, he has started using a dating app. “The biggest problem with Internet searches, in my opinion, is the constant awareness of great competition. You are judged only by what they see in the picture. But this is far from the truth. You go on a date, and in the end it turns out that you were mistaken for a completely different person. How, in fact, you yourself perceived your interlocutor on the Web differently than in reality."

Scientific Research: Apps Hit Self-Esteem 3

This bitter experience echoes the results of research conducted by scientists from the University of North Texas. Men who regularly use the Tinder app have been found to have a low level of satisfaction with the appearance of their faces and bodies. Their overall self-esteem is also low.

Trent Petrie, professor of psychology and one of the study's authors, explains: “The emphasis on appearance and social comparison is the main feature of any modern dating application. It is not surprising that people become very sensitive and subtly react to differences in their appearance from the imaginary "ideal". Dating app users report higher levels of stress in their lives. They are more likely to suffer from depression, spend more energy to look more attractive."

The source of anxiety and depression4

Another survey, conducted on a sample of 200,000 iPhone users, showed that Grindr dating app is the real leader among the apps that make users feel unhappy. As many as 77% of respondents who meet through it admitted that they suffer from signs of depression.

“I deleted dating apps from my phone several times and then downloaded them again. Finding a partner on the Internet has become a source of depression and anxiety for me,”says Niam Kaflan, 38, Dublin resident. "They constantly write to me, start empty conversations … But all this does not lead to anything."

Caflan spent about four years searching for the other half through apps like Tinder and Bumble. But after she developed depression on the basis of unsuccessful searches, she decided to remove them. “When no one writes to you, you start to doubt - oh my God, what's wrong with me? Besides, in the applications every now and then there are such users who are always happy to write some vulgarity. As a result, you are constantly in a tense state. Which, of course, spoils not only the whole search process, but also makes it impossible to enjoy life in general."

The psychologist and dating coach Joe Hemmings expresses his opinion on this matter: “It is difficult to build communication in the application. In fact, Internet communication is always impersonal, which creates difficulties. It's one thing when you see a person in front of you and have the opportunity to enter into a dialogue with him; and completely different - when you are communicating with an unknown Internet user. For the same reason, trolling is so widespread on the Web in general - not just on dating sites and apps."

“And also a source of unpleasant emotions is often a random search as such. I do not recommend logging into the app when you have a couple of minutes to spare. Do this at home when you have enough time and feel more relaxed. There is no need to put dating on autopilot and turn the application into a continuous stream of images."

Hemmings also recommends using those applications that contain more detailed information about users. “Register where you need to fill out a detailed form, upload more photos. The more information is required to create a profile, the more human and real looking for a partner will be."

Louise Troen, VP of Marketing for the popular Bumble app, stresses: “According to statistics, our services are used by more than 40 million users worldwide. And thanks to Bumble, 15 thousand of them got married. We do not receive direct complaints from users about the negative impact of the application on the psycho-emotional state. But one cannot fail to understand that now it has turned into a common problem. We are currently developing a dedicated campaign to improve the mental health of our users."