The Reasons For The Betrayal Of A Man In Relation To A Girl

The topic of today's conversation is "betrayal of a man." What it is, how to survive it and how to relate to this phenomenon, who is to blame for this is a complex and multifaceted question. Undoubtedly, such a situation turns the usual perception of the world upside down. The conversation will be long, serious and sometimes even unpleasant.

The content of the article

• 1 What lies under the betrayal
• 2 Development of events or debriefing
• 3 Selfishness as a cause
• 4 How to survive betrayal

What lies under the betrayal

If we put aside the generally accepted meaning of the word "betrayal", it becomes a little incomprehensible what people mean. After all, what is it? Betrayal is when one person goes against the views, desires and principles of another. The consequences of such an act are such that significant harm is caused to a devoted person, both physical and mental.

There are many examples of true betrayal. But, if we take the relationship between a man and a woman, then the question arises: what value can be invested in this case? There is no physical harm, mental harm is debatable. To understand this issue, you need to plunge a little into the very principle of relationships.

As you know, two people who met and fell in love with each other still remain absolutely free people. It means that freedom of choice is assigned to everyone by default. If you ask for an honest answer to the question “do you agree to significant restrictions in your rights, provided that you are near a loved one,” the answer will be no. If consent is received, then for a very short period.

In the future, anyone will begin to defend their right to freedom. It's just not clear why freedom is understood as the right to hobbies, travel, friendship with same-sex friends, and everything that concerns love turns out to be powerless. Why does a person have no right to stop loving, to be disappointed, to leave? Then what exactly did he betray? Other expectations? Dreams and plans? How can a man betray something that is of no value to him? And whose fault is that the man does not see the point in continuing the relationship?

Loving people, and especially married couples, are always overgrown with a bunch of different obligations. When a couple is married, the words of the oath sound: "in sorrow and joy, in illness and health" and so on. Next comes the plan of marriage: children, savings and other attributes of marriage life. And the fun begins: the man keeps his promises. He cares, helps, earns. But day after day life changes. Views and worldview are changing, new truths are being discovered.

The woman also undergoes such changes. But by virtue of their peculiarity, for her such things pass through the prism of everyday worries. And at such a moment, married women are divided into 2 camps: some dissolve in children and everyday life, others are so passionate about preserving their youth or building a career that they forget about everything in the world.

Development of events or debriefing2

Option 1

The average woman safely gives birth to an heir, sits on maternity leave and enthusiastically takes care of the child. Rattles, bricks, all kinds of early childhood schools, walks, menus for toddlers. In general, time is completely devoted to the offspring. But, besides this, there are other chores: cleaning, washing and other matters. It's good if he has time. If not, then you can always hide behind a diaper and make an offended face. There is no time left for a husband.

The spouse has to be content with a short greeting, listen to a huge stream of information about the number of "sneezes, pookies and pees", learn about promotions for diapers and choke on a steam cutlet with the remnants of porridge. An attempt to give a hint about their business runs into a blank wall of indifference. The wife is simply not interested. Even if she listens, everything will go deaf. Her brain is busy thinking about the baby. It is good if the spouse gets access to the body in the evening.

But there is a high probability of an endless "shh, quiet, wake up", jumping out of the hug in the midst of an embrace because the baby squeaked, and most likely it will sound "not today, dear, I'm too tired." Attention question! Who began to betray whom? Well, just like that, for a minute, purely rhetorically …

Option 2

The woman decides that she will definitely not be a cluck. And she begins to attend all kinds of trainings and seminars for advanced mothers on maternity leave. If he has enough strength and skill, he will open his own business. During the endless courses, a nanny is invited for the child, homemade food smoothly turns into the category of fast food, and all conversations boil down to endless stories about a new trend in psychology, business and other equally fascinating things.

Constant travels with a group of like-minded people turn his wife into a “Flying Dutchman” who is not visible, but he is. And in the evenings, the husband sits with dumplings from the supermarket and the child on his lap, and communicates with his wife only in instant messengers. And again the rhetorical question: who betrayed whom.

There is one more option - the third. But this type of spouse usually does not face the betrayal of a man.

Selfishness as a cause3

Society is used to raising girls so that every second one grows up in the status of a princess. The life position "a man should and must" is pushed into the girl's brain by parents systematically throughout her life. The girl grows into a young lady with a clear attitude - the world revolves around her. And all the rest are just attendants. With such an attitude towards life and people, the chances of finding out the betrayal of men grow exponentially.

The habit of commanding others and getting nishtyaks only by birthright is transferred to the spouse, but already in an exaggerated form. After all, if the parents could besiege an excessively capricious lyalka, then let the husband just try to blather, quickly go to the cot. So do not be surprised that one fine day, an affectionate purr will appear, which will feed her husband with pies and press the violent little head to the soft and hot breast.

How to survive betrayal4

In order to survive the betrayal of a man with minimal losses for his own psyche, it is necessary to decompose what happened frame by frame. And you should start from the very first day. What was it before the wedding?

What became after? What has changed with the birth of a child? And to answer these questions as honestly as possible. If there are doubts about the objectivity of the answers, then you can ask your friend, mother for help. True, the best assistant will be either the traitor himself or the mother-in-law. They will definitely shed light on mistakes.

While the brain is busy looking for answers, the understanding will gradually come that, in principle, nothing has changed in the world. The philosophical approach has never harmed anyone. You just need to decide: return the traitor or not. By the way, when one's own behavior is sorted out on the shelves, there is a high probability of shock: he fell out of love for a reason, left and left for serious reasons. So is this a betrayal?

If the idea of the return of a defector is disgusting and not allowed, then it is stupid to look pale. We must return to life. First of all, put yourself in the shoes of a traitor and think: what if it happened directly personally. What if a woman couldn't tolerate her husband's antics and a new love loomed on the horizon? After all, this kind of situation occurs no less often.

Why, then, are there a lot of excuses for their own betrayal? Oh, yes, this is not a betrayal, it's just "we have changed, I fell in love with another." Secondly, stop crying and keep yourself busy with something interesting. What? Courses and trainings are no longer fun? How is that ?! Can not be! And maybe even cooler: what kind of cubes and steam cutlets are there, when the head is a mess, the cheeks stick out from behind the ears, and the priest overflowed the banks? Dite is urgently attached to the kindergarten, and the cries of child psychologists are parallel, and her mother gallops to the nearest fitness center and studies the degree of roasting of steaks.

The question is: why hasn't all this been done before? So it turns out that there is no such thing as "betrayal of a man." There is a gross error in relationships.