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Video: What Is Benching: Recognize In Time And Not Become A Victim Of It
The Russian language is great and powerful, but new words and theses are being introduced into our vocabulary with incredible speed. So "benching" came quite recently, but this word is already actively used, and all thanks to the development of the Internet. We will learn everything about benchmarking in this post, and also consider options on how to avoid it.
The content of the article
- 1 Benching history
- 2 Benching Symptoms
- 3 How to avoid falling victim to benchmarking
The term came from virtual communication, and in translation "benching" sounds like "bench, send to the bench." Yes, the meaning is not the most pleasant, for someone negative, offensive. But it has always been, only now it sounds new.
The word itself appeared a long time ago, and is part of the English language. But the term is used in Russia recently, and came to us from the vastness of the Internet. If you are a web user, use dating sites, then most likely you are a part of benchmarking. After all, you communicate not with one person, but with several at once, someone you like more, others less, but you still keep them, that is, you are benching so as not to lose sight of them if there are no more options left. Perhaps they also use you on the Web.
Is there real-life benchmarking? Of course there is. Surely, many girls and guys have come across a situation where they like someone, and this is mutual, but this person is in no hurry to develop a relationship. He can smile sweetly, say nice things, and at this time his eyes run around in search of a more interesting person.
Is Benching Good or Bad? It is difficult to answer this question, but it is, was and will be. After all, people are such creatures who always try to have a backup option in a relationship, so that in the end they do not remain alone if someone better is not found.
If you have a relationship, but your partner does not develop it, does not let you get closer to the marked boundaries, he is most likely benching you. At any moment, when a more interesting player enters the field, they will simply say goodbye to you, or they will pause the relationship (just in case, what if!). In most cases, a happy continuation in such a relationship does not follow.
But it also happens that the partner does not find someone more interesting, and the couple still moves to a new level. So that you do not indulge yourself with false hopes for an ideal outcome, I want to say: remember, you are constantly looking for a replacement in such a relationship, appreciate yourself, leave with your head held high!
And now let's talk about how to recognize if you are crazy. There are many signs:
He / she does not name your relationship in any way. When meeting friends, he / she does not say: "This is my boyfriend / girlfriend", but simply introduces by name. And to the question what is between you, he answers like this: "I feel good with you, what else do you need?"
- The partner does not make long-term plans. For example, you invite him / her to your birthday, which will take place in a month, and in response you hear: "Let's see, if there is no work, what to think" and the like. This is just an example, there may be other situations.
- Your beloved is constantly flirting with others, not paying attention to you.
- He / she goes to a meeting with friends and entertainment without you, and is ready to spend time with you only alone.
- You've already been dumped for another person. Of course, maybe he / she changed their minds and decided that there is no better one than you. But in most cases, he / she will quit again as soon as someone prettier / smarter / kinder / more cheerful and so on turns up.
- Of course, you shouldn't forget about "relationships" on the Internet. If you haven't seen each other in reality, the interlocutor is in no hurry to switch to a real date, he benches 100%!
If your relationship has at least one of the symptoms described above, rest assured, you are a blessing!
How to avoid falling victim to benchmarking3
The first thing to understand is that virtual relationships are not real. Do not fall in love with the interlocutor, no matter how romantic he may be, do not hope for the continuation of the relationship. If after 2-3 correspondence you are not invited to a date, then it will not follow. If you "hooked" a person, he will try to see you in reality faster. No movement? Goodbye!
Of course, if we are talking about benchmarking in reality, then just pay attention to its symptoms, which we described above. You have your own pride, do you enjoy being on the bench? No, you need a healthy relationship that will develop, suit you.
Love yourself. This is the most important rule. Always love yourself more than your partner. People who really value themselves, take care of themselves, do not look for replacements. Be a self-sufficient person capable of self-development, have hobbies in addition to work and study. If it is interesting to communicate with you, will they be looking for a replacement for you? The answer is no.
If you do become a victim of benchmarking, don't be afraid to be the first to get out of this relationship. The main thing here is to understand that there is no relationship, you are in stock, next to you as long as they allow you!