What Is Killing Your Relationship Will Help You Mend It

Valentine's Day is over, and you either bask in the rays of romantic bliss, or you scratch your head and wonder how you managed to ruin everything. Are you wondering why she's upset or why she pulled back? Perhaps your beloved felt that you did not understand her.

The content of the article

• 1 Turning point
• 2 The influence of music on relationships
• 3 Musical chemistry
• 4 Film screenings
• 5 Reading
• 6 Cooking food

Two people who meet have a certain experience of joint development when their common world and the feelings of each of them grow. You learn more and more about your partner and he or she becomes a part of your daily life. This is the exciting side of a new relationship, but your joint development can slow down and even degrade.

Turning momenti

As soon as your connection becomes more reliable, the process of joint development slows down. Movies, music, books, other things that used to be something that bound you together can turn into passive actions, separated from your senses. The time when a relationship becomes calm and comfortable is often a turning point, after which further events can go to a better continuation or a worse ending.

To counteract this process, experts recommend doing new things together and looking for interesting hobbies. The act of mutual discovery rekindles feelings of shared development and rekindles new flames. But it's not as easy as typing “what to do tonight” on Google. It's easy to get stuck in a rut of habits and let the search engines do all the work for you. With a little effort, you can use these progressive and cultural tools to transform your joint activities into more interesting and fun activities.

The influence of music on relationships 2

The study, led by neuroscientist Dr. Daniel J. Levitin, collaborated with Apple Music and Sonos to examine the impact of music on people's lives and relationships. Over 30,000 participants were interviewed and 30 couples were observed over a two-week period. Scientists studied the behavior of partners when they did not listen to music for a week, after which they were observed under the influence of music for the same time.

The most significant discovery was an increase in closeness and togetherness, when music, regardless of genre, was loud. The observed effect was significant: partners were together 66% more often when music was part of their daily life, and the average physical distance between them decreased by 12%.

Musical chemistry3

It turns out that when we listen to music, our brain releases the hormone oxytocin, the same neuropeptide that is produced when we fall in love and have sex. This ultimate pleasure based on chemistry, it also explains why music makes us feel good and improves our mood.

In addition, similar musical preferences affect the level of attraction perceived by partners. The results showed that 59% of respondents consider people more attractive when they listen to music that they also like. This phenomenon is beyond the scope of a chemical explanation. Perhaps, in this case, a psychological connection is established based on the exchange of experience.

When we listen to music together, it literally tunes our brains to the same wavelength. And when the attraction is already there, then a spark runs through. Building those bonds and sharing experiences is the first step towards bridging the emotional gap that your partner is pointing to.

Film screenings4

Music isn't the only way to get closer. Experiencing emotions together can re-energize simple activities that you have done before. For example, watching movies. Watch for new trailers on popular sites, make sure you really watch good movies together.

Even if your tastes are different in this matter, you can find many films that are equally interesting to both of you. According to one study on the relationship of married couples, watching and discussing films together has halved the three-year divorce rate among newlyweds.

Reading 5

It turns out that couples who read together create a solid foundation for their relationship. Psychologists say that in fact, reading can bring partners closer together, turning a single act into something fun for two. It doesn't have to be serious literature. Detectives, science fiction, short stories, even articles and anecdotes from the Internet will turn your hobby into a joint activity.

Food preparation6

A study led by psychology professor Daniel O'Leary and colleagues at Stony Brook University surveyed 274 couples who have been married for ten years or more. All of them, according to their self-esteem, were "deeply in love", despite the long years spent together.

People reported their romantic relationships, hobbies, and challenging activities that have brought them together and helped maintain such long-term emotional attachment. All couples had something in common - the passion of the partners to cook together. Eating can be a chore or a fun creative activity. Find interesting recipes online and practice them step by step. Perhaps cooking will become your thing that holds you together for decades.