Table of contents:
Video: Why Doesn't Love At First Sight Exist?
Has everyone watched cartoons about Disney princes and princesses? Remember how many times from early childhood we all saw crazy feelings that arose at the first glance of the heroes at each other.
The content of the article
- 1 From the friend zone to the bedroom
- 2 Confidence is the key to longevity
- 3 Adequate assessment
And literature? For centuries, writers and poets have glorified love from the first meeting with their eyes. Then, of course, the heroes recognized the object of adoration, were betrayed by them, fought and suffered. In reality, we also want to find a single lover who will throw the world at his feet in the first seconds of meeting. There is no such feeling as “love at first sight”.
Judge for yourself, love is the broadest concept. It includes mutual respect, common interests and views on the world around us, passion, tenderness, care, trust and a whole bunch of other things. How can we endow a bright flash of first impression with such serious characteristics? Longing, yes. A pretty face is possible. A sophisticated figure or an excellent sense of style - probably. But definitely not love.
Let's talk about what we expect from a sudden fall in love, and what we really want from a long-term relationship.
From the friend zone to the bedroom
A huge number of people, telling their relationship story, will tell you that initially they just made friends. And this happens all the time. The fact is that we want to really get to know a person, to be imbued with him, to reveal a complex inner world.
If you enjoy communicating, you constantly laugh at each other's jokes, you can chat incessantly, in the end, this will lead to the creation of a pair. There are also exceptions to the rule. But people who once crossed the line of friendship are happy about this.
Why not? You simultaneously get not only a hero-lover, but also a sensitive listener, a pleasant companion, a reliable friend, a caring chosen one. It's wonderful when, over the years, a person reveals himself like a good expensive wine. It is always interesting and joyful to make pleasant discoveries.
Confidence is the key to longevity2
A person who is in harmony with himself cannot trust the first person he meets. This is a normal defense mechanism. You can mark a nice guy at first sight, immediately decide that you will have sex, but no one will tell a stranger about childhood experiences, mistakes of youth, plans for the future.
We want to trust people, but too often we get burned. We will meet a cheerful girl, tell her about problems in a relationship with a guy, and then we are surprised that she took him away. If we were a little more choosy in our relationships, such situations could have been avoided. No one pulled the tongue, and you have already blurted out to the stranger all the information about the difficulties that she successfully turned into her merits.
It's the same with love. We should not rush to the desired object immediately. First, you should check its reliability. Then start digging deeper - find out about his plans for the future, talk about the mistakes of the past.
Relationships that began some time after they met are always more durable. There is no disagreement because of the unexpectedly revealed information. You are already discussing intimate matters honestly and frankly. There is no shyness, stupid resentment and mistrust. This is an indicator of a healthy strong relationship between a man and a woman.
We ourselves often harm our potential relationships. How? When we meet a new person, we often pay attention to something that is not really important. In the head of each person, a composite of a potential chosen one is compiled in advance. If on the way we meet a very charming and funny guy who does not fit into the imaginary framework, he has no chance.
This is a fundamentally wrong position. Having watched reality shows, films about impeccable love, we very often miss out on what is really important. But we immediately cut off the contact if the person does not fit into our norms of beauty and style. Meeting by the cover is wrong. You may find that you are missing out of your life the best partner for building a strong and happy family, relying on the stupidest prejudices and stereotypes.
If in matters of appearance you can still remake yourself, then with the expectation of an enchanting outburst of love, everything is much more difficult. Thanks to movies and books, as always. From there, we know that love to the grave happens only to those who have experienced a lightning strike upon meeting their eyes with a stranger in a cafe. It seems that it cannot be otherwise.
Therefore, it is not enough for us to exchange friendly smiles, winks, or a kind gesture addressed to us. Why start a conversation with the guy who opened several doors for us in the business center? There were no goosebumps, I will go further. Perhaps we are missing our destiny, waiting for "feelings from a blockbuster."
Love at first sight is a myth invented by poets and screenwriters. In real life, love will never be based on passion. It is she who pervades us from the first minute of our acquaintance. The desire to possess always breaks down on distrust, suspicion and insecurity in a person.
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