The Husband Went To My Mother. The Main Reasons And Should Anything Be Changed?

More and more often you can hear the phrase: “My husband left me for my mother. What to do?". To answer this question, you should correctly place punctuation points in this statement.

The content of the article

• 1 The husband left me (point) to my mother
• 2 The opposite option. The husband went to his mother, tired of difficulties

My husband left me (point) to my mother

He left for his mother because it was not in a relationship with another woman. He went, if I may say so, to neutral territory, to the "wise source", where you can "take a breath" and think it over again. In the first case, a man does not want to put up with a role where decisions do not depend on him.

And the main thing is that he left you. That is, your relationship has cracked. Can I get it back? It is possible and necessary. The main thing is to figure out why this happened, to do “work on mistakes”.

Often this behavior is associated with a long cohabitation of a man with his wife's parents. Strong-willed decisions and the necessary responsibility are expected from the husband, while he is in conditions where he is constantly pointed out to his "bird rights". Leaving your mother for hers is a protest.

But, in such situations, women themselves are under the strong influence of the mother. This does not make it clear the most important thing - start solving the problem yourself. Yes, you do not have your own living space, and none of the parents is obliged to provide it to you. Rent yourself an apartment, even if it's expensive. Try, make some kind of compromise.

Many newcomers manage to find a "corner within their pocket", and people who are accustomed to the best find it hard to refuse benefits, sacrificing the autonomy of their young family. But husbands, who understand that every month it is necessary to pay for housing, that no one will wait and feel sorry for you, approach the issue of earnings much more responsibly.

If this is your situation, then there is no need to quarrel with your parents and demand from your husband to return, threatening to divorce. Most likely, similar topics have surfaced more than once. Weigh it up: do you want to stay with this person or is your personal “warm comfort zone” under your “mother’s wing” more important to you?

If you understand that the husband is more important, figure out what you are ready to go for. Only reasonably: 1,2,3 … Agree that you obviously do not need to weigh you down, find a compromise. After that, without hysterics and accusations, invite your loved one to meet somewhere in neutral territory and voice the way out of this situation, listen to his opinion.

Do not try to solve everything at once, do not press. We talked, pause. Let him weigh everything and decide for himself - after all, this is what he lacked. It is clear that it is very difficult to expect something calmly when you simply cannot find a place for yourself. In this case, discuss the time frame that he needs to make a decision.

The second option - you yourself have turned from a wife into a "chainsaw" or "mother" who decides everything. Let's say you do a lot of things better. Great, then do them yourself and do not reproach your spouse with this! In a family, a husband and wife are like an hourglass: the more tasks-grains of sand one has, the less they are for the second. Do you need to pull everything on yourself? Not. Then why are you missing?

These situations are solved quite easily: men are waiting for a simple apology and recognition of their authority. But, a strong-willed and strong woman, oh, how difficult it is to do it. Just make peace “for yourself”, you should not try to “glue the relationship” for the sake of “father for child”.

The opposite option. The husband went to his mother, tired of difficulties2

Unfortunately, this is a frequent occurrence in the modern world. In this, second, case - he himself does not want to make decisions. Perestroika gave us a whole wave of "broken men" who could not adapt to the new conditions.

Women, on the other hand, tried to ensure the survival of their children. Without a proper male example and under the tutelage of strong mothers and grandmothers, a whole wave of infantile sons turned out, who have now become adult men.

It is very difficult to live with such husbands, because their behavior resembles that of a child: pouted, offended, stamped his foot, left … Raising such a husband is a long and painful process of methodical and affectionate coercion to take responsibility for the choice. Such husbands leave not just like that, but when faced with certain family difficulties. The most relevant are the loss of a job and the birth of a child.

They are looking for a new job for a long time and with great difficulty, unless mom helps. All reproaches of the wife for the lack of funds cause fits of rage in such a husband, after which they can defiantly leave.

The child is even worse. They are children themselves, albeit in an adult body. Therefore, they do not perceive the child as their continuation, but rather as a competitor. He really shaves with him for your time and attention, and if he is "deprived" - he leaves, slamming the door. Naturally, such a father never shows interest in the life of his baby in the future.

Is it possible to return such a man? Of course you can. The main thing is to ask yourself - is it necessary? Are you ready to hang your "second child" around your neck? Are you ready to listen to criticism from his mother and grandmother all your life? If so, then go and promise never to make him stress, work, help with the housework, and generally be a man.

Praise him, tell him how lucky you are with him. But just keep in mind that if something happens to you or you need real help, he will again run away from problems and leave alone to cope with difficulties. Maybe it’s worth looking around - there are many men.

So, is it possible to return the husband who went to his mother? Of course yes. Whether it is necessary to do this is up to you. A wise life puts everything in its place. So, a generation of tough and powerful wives was brought up on infantile men.

Such people will not ask: how to get him back, but by opening the front door with his foot and "pushing aside with a mighty hand" the mother-in-law, they will load him and his little things into the car and take them back home. Each, as they say, has its own concept of family happiness …