Table of contents:
- The mechanism of jealousy
- Light jealousy 2
- Annoying jealousy3
- Tyrannical jealousy4
- Restrained jealousy5
- Pathological jealousy6
- Female and male jealousy7
- What jealousy is fraught with8
- Fight against an invisible enemy9
Video: What Is Relationship Jealousy? How To Deal With This Feeling?
For a long time, there is an opinion that jealousy is absolutely normal. The proverb "Jealous means loves" has firmly entered the consciousness of man. Psychologists have long given an answer to the question "What is jealousy?" This phenomenon can be called phenomenal in part because until now the mechanism of this feeling is not clear even to the best minds of the scientific world.
The content of the article
- 1 The mechanism of jealousy
- 2 Mild jealousy
- 3 Annoying jealousy
- 4 Tyrannical jealousy
- 5 Injured jealousy
- 6 Pathological jealousy
- 7 Female and male jealousy
- 8 What jealousy is fraught with
- 9 Fighting the invisible enemy
Jealousy often does not have any specific color. She can carry negativity in herself, and be quite neutral. But experience proves that even if jealousy leads to a positive result of any action, then for the object itself it is always destructive.
The mechanism of jealousy
Jealousy occurs for many reasons. Most often, jealousy is born with the appearance of love. The mechanism of occurrence has been laid down since primitive times. In those distant times, males categorically did not want to share their females with other tribes. Even then, people unconsciously understood the full significance of genetics. Wishing to preserve the distinctive features of their kind, men jealously defended their women.
If there was a need for a surge of fresh blood, then new members of the clan were obtained only under the condition of fierce battles. Keeping the species pure, each member of the tribe carefully monitored the behavior of the females. God forbid she will have a child who has similarities with her neighbors. First of all, the infant was destroyed, the decision about the mother was made jointly, but most often it was not at all in her favor.
At the same time, a man's trip to a neighboring tribe was not forbidden and was even encouraged, because giving his genes to as many offspring as possible was a mandatory task. As for women, the manifestation of jealousy is associated with the threat of losing the breadwinner and protector for the family. Accordingly, it was unthinkable to allow the loss of the male. Society grew, evolved, and this moment of protecting one's blood, firmly entered the consciousness of people. The DNA chain was not ignored either. It is believed by scientists that jealousy is an instinct that is inherited. For the opinion of experts on the psychology of jealousy, see the article at the link.
By the way, jealousy is inherent in animals. Moreover, the females of those species in which the male is involved in raising offspring are much more susceptible to jealousy than those that raise their young on their own.
Psychologists distinguish five types of jealousy. They are very arbitrary, but nevertheless they reflect the essence.
Light jealousy 2
This kind of jealousy doesn't really hurt the relationship. Rather, on the contrary, it has a creative focus not on the object, but on the most jealous one. Such jealousy makes it clear that a partner can break off relations at any time for a number of reasons, and therefore, they must be prevented. The struggle is directed at itself. Both a woman and a man begin to carefully monitor themselves, their body and appearance.
We are constantly working on self-development and improvement of character traits. A person grows internally, tries to acquire various skills that will convince a partner that he no longer needs to look for anything better. This process of becoming is more like a period of conquest and seduction. The only difference is that the jealous one catches himself only when the first bells appear. They do not always have real ground under them, but nevertheless they act soberingly and force you to gather.
Such jealousy is already beginning to strain partners. Moreover, it acts equally on the jealous person and on the object of jealousy. Such jealousy leads to frequent conflicts. She annoys both. It is difficult to retain the remnants of feelings when both are in a war zone. Moreover, often such jealousy can hide under various masks: own complexes, failure, low self-esteem, unfulfilled ambitions, feelings of dislike.
If at some point you realize that this is actually jealousy and channel the energy in a different direction in time, you can still save the relationship. Couples who have experienced something like this are talking about a new round. But more often, in the heat of a struggle, love ceases to exist and the couple breaks up.
Tyrannical jealousy causes irreparable harm to partners. Most often, elementary punctures in the secrets of adventures are due to her appearance. But this jealousy is not only negative. She is capable of causing physical harm. A tyrant can often raise a hand against his victim, humiliate him morally. Even if the victim can prove that he will no longer give any reason, there will still be no chance of salvation.
Another point that may turn out to be key for the manifestation of tyrannical jealousy is the banal invention of the situation. Many jealous people just live in a fantasy world. Any smile, a slightly lingering look, a slight delay, an unanswered call, all this can easily provoke another attack. There is only one way out in such a situation - parting.
Injured jealousy arises on the basis of low self-esteem. She takes on an intrusive look. People who are in a web of complexes cannot control their emotions. As a rule, their nagging causes nothing but irritation, but it is practically impossible to force such people to influence the situation on their own. A good psychologist can help here. But whether the jealous person will agree to realize and accept the need for outside help is a question.
Actually, there is nothing much to advise here. Everyone chooses for himself: either endure endless suffering and depression, or break off the relationship.
The last kind of this feeling is the syndrome of serious illness. Most often this is a symptom of a mental disorder: schizophrenia, depressive psychosis. Such jealousy also develops on the basis of chronic alcoholism. Moreover, being in a sober state, a person behaves quite adequately, but in alcoholic intoxication he can do terrible things. There is only one way out: to treat alcohol, but it is better not to joke with mental disorders.
Female and male jealousy7
Women's jealousy is not very different from men's. Perhaps only a lot of tantrums and tears. Women's fear is based on the likely loss of a breadwinner and protector. Women have a much stronger self-preservation instinct. But nevertheless, they survive attacks much easier. The point is that women are much more open to emotions and society. They do not feel ashamed or guilty about their failure.
The ability to articulate the situation with loved ones eases the condition. After all, from the outside you can get an independent assessment of what is happening, hear good advice, feel support and reassurance. Most often, a woman turns her jealousy on her rival. It is difficult to convince her that if "the bitch does not want, the dog will not jump up." They always have a female to blame for everything.
But none of this can be said about men. Men blame their woman for everything. They do not care about the opponent, their anger is directed specifically at the partner. Men experience jealousy much deeper and more painful than women. And there are reasons for that. It is extremely important for them to keep everything secret for as long as possible. Not only does treason deal a powerful blow to their pride, but also a feeling of incredible shame does not give them rest.
After all, they did not cope, did not hold back, lost the battle to a stronger opponent, turned out to be weaklings. That is why men are much more painful about what happened. But at the same time, they are not at all ashamed to run to the “neighboring lawn” themselves. As the saying goes, "what a lion can do, a dog can't."
Aggression from both sides can cause more than psychological harm. Many are capable of physical impact. Pain and fear mingle with these situations. As a rule, maintaining a relationship in such conditions is almost impossible, and the couple breaks up.
What jealousy is fraught with8
Many couples live in conflict throughout their lives. Moreover, they consider such relationships to be quite common: passion, jealousy, conflict, passion. And so in a circle. But no matter how they convince themselves that everything is under control and that the majority lives like that, they are deeply wrong. The consequences of jealousy are irreversible and fraught with sad results.
Firstly: constant suspicion, total control, tears, interrogations, tantrums, sarcastic remarks, cause irreparable harm and destroy mutual understanding and love between people
Secondly: children suffer from the tense atmosphere in the house. They live in endless fear and tend to project everything onto themselves. Subsequently, such children grow up and adopt the model of their family. Moreover, they are sure that this is how it should be, and they themselves become jealous
Thirdly: if a person says "pig" all the time, he grunts. So it is here. Constant suspicions, ingenious schemes of building some kind of puzzles and idiotic conclusions will lead, in the end, to real betrayal. Anyone will get tired of constant conflict, and a person is a creature who loves affection. And the day is not far off when the one who will really warm, regret and please, will be nearby. So you need to be careful in your dreams, they can come true. Although, such fantasies can hardly be called a dream
Fourth: jealousy, let go of its own accord, can lead to permanent changes in the psyche. Against this background, a real mental deviation may develop, called "delirium of jealousy." This disease can be treated with great difficulty. Most often, against its background, a paranoid syndrome begins to develop, which, unfortunately, has an irreversible process
Fifth: Negative emotions have a destructive effect on the body as a whole. Psychologists and doctors have conducted studies of jealousy on the stress scale. So jealousy and death of a loved one has the highest score on the scale for the effect on the body
All those who have experienced an acute attack of jealousy list the same symptoms: a feeling of constriction and sinking of the heart, acceleration of the pulse to tachycardia, dizziness, similar to a light-headed state, loss of the ability to keep in touch with the world, in other words, the person stops thinking about what that is a period of time. Cases have been recorded when people simply died of a heart attack. Most often, mortality is observed among men.
Fight against an invisible enemy9
It is commendable if a jealous person realizes that he is destroying love with his own hands and decides to start a struggle with his condition. Psychologists gave quite acceptable advice, which more than once helped to cope with internal conflict.
Accuracy in behavior. This advice is more suitable for the victim, as it is aimed at constant self-control. It is important not to give any reason for this emotion to arise. If the situation develops in such a way that it is impossible not to arouse suspicion, then it is necessary to think over a retreat plan in advance. You may have to resort to light lies, the main thing is to dispel the doubts that have arisen.
It is necessary to disassemble your inner component on the shelves and find the reason why jealousy arises. Selfishness, low self-esteem, complexes are the main parameters that lead to seizures. You should try to work out and eradicate such things as much as possible. The best solution would be to contact family psychologists.
You need to constantly work on yourself. Aggression hasn't painted anyone yet. A person in a state of conflict looks disgusting. It is enough to look at yourself from the outside to understand that in the heat of the moment you can lose respect for yourself, not only from your side, but also from your partner. It's hard work, but you can't do without it.
It is impossible to fully understand what jealousy is. She was always and never and will not go anywhere. You just need to learn to live with her and not give her a descent. Jealousy must be tightly controlled. And then many years of a happy life are provided.
Popular by topic
If you are a fan of dramas, then surely meeting a Korean is an old dream of yours. Today we will tell you what it means to build relationships with representatives of this nation
In our high-speed age, meeting a girl on the Internet is a very real procedure that helps many get rid of loneliness
A dating site without a serious relationship will be useful to the category of people who do not want to get married, but need a love adventure
What is a hopeless relationship? This is a relationship with no future. But how to understand that you have fallen into this "trap"? So, 10 main signs of this
Find out how you can maintain a relationship with your girlfriend or boyfriend! Relationship secrets from experts