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Video: How Do You Know That Love Is Turning Into A Habit? Check Your Relationship
Popular psychology suggests that it takes an average of 66 days for people to create (or break) a new habit. This means that if you want to go jogging or quit smoking, you must consciously stick to it for more than two months before the habit starts to feel like second nature. This general time frame is similar to the legendary “90-day rule”; in theory, this is how long it takes for hormones to calm down so that you can make intelligent decisions about whether to move forward with a new relationship. But what if love turns into a habit.
The content of the article
- 1 Habits in a relationship or relationship are a habit
- 2 Relationships today
- 3 Frayed Pants
Let's face it, most of us, when we meet someone new who fills our belly with butterflies and turns our knees to jelly, start crossing out the days on the calendar to meet that standard. Unfortunately, when it comes to building strong, healthy relationships, it is akin to forming a healthy habit, as it takes time and dedication.
Relationship Habits or Relationship - Habit ___ 8212
We all have literally hundreds of habits that we think little about, unless they give us some kind of difficulty, embarrassment, or pain. A habit can be as harmless as daily crossword puzzles, or as dangerous as addiction. Most of our long-term relationships are riddled with habits - for example, we always do this or that, one way or another.
But what happens when love becomes a habit? Do we recognize warning signs? Or do we mindlessly trudge, mistaking habit for comfort?
The advent of social media, coupled with what tends to be an overly crowded, overly obligatory schedule, has made it admittedly more difficult to meet that standard for most of us. Life is far more distracting than it used to be, and modern parenting now legally requires people to be less vigilant, which was lacking (we grew up in the wild compared to children today). We are all on the run for so long that at the end of the day we often mindlessly (habitually) scroll through our Vkontakte feed instead of taking a walk around the block after lunch to catch up on that day.
Our focus has become noticeably shorter since the introduction of the smartphone, and the national average marriage length is 10.2 years (although the divorce rate is 41%, not 50%).
Is it any wonder we don't take the time to build slow and steady relationships over the long term? Are we shocked when statistics show that infidelity affects 1 in 5 marriages?
When our love becomes a habit, it becomes meaningless. We all have friends like that - people we have known forever, and we most likely would not have chosen to be friends if we met today. But, like an old pair of worn pants, we cannot part, we keep them close. Of course, for the most part, these are not the people we live with or see every day; they are part of a larger mosaic of our lives and remind us of how far we have come.
But what if the relationship I just described is in your marriage? Are you staying with your spouse out of habit or out of a sincere desire to be together? Is your partner the person who inspires you to strive for this, or is it that sad old pair of dead pants signaling to the world, "I just gave up"?
If this question makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, I'm sure the answer is second.
Look, very few of us are going to climb Mount Everest anytime soon, but if your relationship with your husband or wife no longer motivates or inspires you, you should consider that it can become a habit. And even habits that are not in our best interest (like smoking) bring us comfort on some level, otherwise we would be more motivated to break them. But then again, looking at this big mosaic of our lives, do we really want the theoretically most important relationship in our life to be on autopilot?
Therefore, if it takes 66 days to form (or get rid) of a new habit, it may be a problem that you decide to do to make your relationship more conscious and real.
- Can you do 66 days of walking around the neighborhood instead of VC after lunch?
- Can you devote 66 days to giving thanks for the little things?
- Can you devote 66 days to making your spouse your priority?
If not, then your relationship is not only a habit, but also a bad habit. So can you devote yourself 66 days to see if you can end up without those stained sweatpants? We all have many different kinds of relationships in our lives, but we only get one life as far as we know; let's try not to waste this time thoughtlessly.