The Vicissitudes Of The Friend Zone And How To Overcome Them

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The Vicissitudes Of The Friend Zone And How To Overcome Them
The Vicissitudes Of The Friend Zone And How To Overcome Them

Video: The Vicissitudes Of The Friend Zone And How To Overcome Them

Video: The Vicissitudes Of The Friend Zone And How To Overcome Them
Video: How To Escape The Friend Zone 2023, June
ways to overcome the friend zone
ways to overcome the friend zone

How can you motivate someone you like to become “more than friends”? How can one advance from the level of “common acquaintance” to the status of “lovers” or “partners”? And are there any ways to avoid this hateful friend zone?

The content of the article

  • 1 Why relationships get stuck
  • 2 Life examples
  • 3 How to avoid it: open conversation
  • 4 The less we love a woman …
  • 5 Make yourself scarce
  • 6 Create competition
  • 7 Make him invest
  • 8 The Power of Gratitude

All these questions at one time or another acquire special urgency for almost everyone. A friendzone is a situation in which one person has romantic feelings; and the other does not think about a more intense relationship. And sometimes it happens that the second person is simply not aware of the wishes of his acquaintance - and if he knew about them, perhaps friendship would have long since grown into love.

Why Relationships Stampedei

To deal with this problem, first, it is worth considering its causes. In fact, any human relationship is a social exchange. This suggests that people agree - usually without discussing it out loud - about certain rules in their behavior. As a result, each of the communication participants gets what he needs and brings into the relationship what his partner wants.

When a person enters the friend zone, his need is not satisfied. Yes, his counterpart is quite pleased with the established relationship: after all, friendship is enough for him. However, it turns out that one invests in a relationship more than the other wants to receive. The balance is breaking.

Real life examples2

Such situations are very common in reality. For example, Katya and Vasya are friends. However, Vasya would like something more. He gives Katya gifts, invites her to the cinema. At the same time, the girl likes everything: she will gladly attend the premiere of the last blockbuster for free. While Vasya is wasting his emotional and financial resources without hope that his needs will be met.

There are other types of situations. Petya and Masha are acquaintances, sometimes practicing "friendship sex" and diluting conversations about the weather and politics with physical intimacy. However, Masha would like a real relationship, and not a connection with a vague future. Her needs are not being met; she would be glad to suggest something else, but nothing. And as a result, the girl gets stuck in the friend zone.

Overcoming the friend zone
Overcoming the friend zone

How to avoid it: open conversation 3

To prevent such situations, it is important to understand that all normal relationships will include negotiations and discussions aimed at maintaining a balance in meeting needs. In other words, relationships are always dynamic: even if you have known each other for fifteen years, and now you are not satisfied with the current relationship, you have the right to dot the i's.

The less we love a woman … __8230

The lines of the classic are not only acceptable to women: they are true for both sexes. If you find yourself in the friend zone, you should lower the intensity of your demands and become less interested. The relationship is already unbalanced at this stage, since you value the other person less than he does you. Being in a state of "need" means knowingly putting yourself in a losing position. So always be ready to leave and stop communicating if you don't get what you want. You have the right to do so.

Make yourself scarce4

Spend some time away from your "friend". If this person truly values you, then absence will make you bored and appreciate your company even more. The so-called “principle of scarcity” often works here: people always want something that is difficult to get, or that is taken away from them.

Create competition5

In the end, no one obliges you to limit your circle of communication to one and only friend. Get other people you know of the opposite sex. Try to expand your social network. And then talk about these new acquaintances with the very person who is your friend. Maybe a little jealousy won't hurt to awaken his feelings.

Exit the friend zone
Exit the friend zone

Make him invest6

Ask your friend to do you a favor. There is a widespread opinion that the more we do for a person, the more he will love us. This is great nonsense! Quite the opposite - the more people do for us, the more they become supportive of us. This phenomenon in psychology is called the Benjamin Franklin effect. So feel free to ask your friend to take you home, buy a carton of milk on the way or fix a broken iPhone.

The Power of Gratitude 7

And finally, the last tip - be grateful and reward your friend when they behave "right". After all, every person has something of Pavlov's dog - after all, we all have natural instincts. Therefore, positive reinforcement will allow you to receive more and more attention from the person. So the next time a friend is kind and disposed to you, respond with generous gratitude - and over time, he will definitely fall into the trap of his instincts.

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