Table of contents:
- Cons without pros i
- Useful self-digging 2
- Entering the Warpath 3
- How not to be trapped in feelings 4
Video: How To Get Rid Of Jealousy And Mistrust: The Best Advice From Psychologists
From the outside, many relationships may seem like a real standard: both love each other, show care, seek to please by any means. However, you can soon notice that a man literally devours his soul mate with his eyes, as soon as she just smiles at a passer-by. Or a girl is ready to blow up an entire apartment, just having a dream with her boyfriend's betrayal. There are even worse cases when real weapons and fists are used. Often partners in relationships are trying to find an answer to the question: how to deal with jealousy and eventually win? What if the sensations inside do not allow you to sleep well, scrolling through the possible options for betrayal of the second half?
The content of the article
- 1 Cons without pros
- 2 Useful self-digging
- 3 We leave on the warpath
- 4 How not to be trapped in feelings
Being the owner in a relationship isn't so bad. It makes sense that you want to be the only person you love (in terms of romance) and demand the same feelings from your companion. But it should be understood that expectations and reality do not always coincide, which provokes many negative consequences. Trivial misunderstandings can have a cumulative effect and lead to terrible deeds. To prevent this, it is necessary to thoroughly understand what motivates jealous people and how to prevent serious mistakes.
Cons without pros i
Jealousy itself is not based on positive feelings, but on negative ones. When a person begins to think that people dear to him deprive him of attention and affection, and give all his love to completely others - this is jealousy. The desire to constantly control a loved one, the desire for his complete possession already speaks of a difficult pathology. In particular, jealous people can not only harm those they love, but even kill.
However, with such obvious disadvantages, there are still naive people who are sure that jealousy is a manifestation of strong love. Obviously, if there are significant reasons for doubt, then it is quite normal to make a complaint. But if there are no reasons for indignation, then the subsequent dissatisfaction can simply destroy all that good and good that is established between two people in love. And in this case, there is no need to talk about the longevity of the relationship.
Another disadvantage is distrust. Partners can constantly suspect each other of something, so they cannot fully relax in each other's company. This is reflected not only in everyday and everyday communication, but also in the sexual sphere. Dissatisfaction, dissatisfaction, doubts - all these are the results of the so-called sign of love, from which it is recommended to get rid of at the very beginning of the relationship. It is worth understanding that a loving partner will not change and will not give a reason for this, and the one who only portrays love will still find a way to go to the left.
Useful self-digging 2
If you notice a bad habit of constantly monitoring your significant other, and if he or she does not answer your call within a few minutes, you start to get angry, then you should definitely think about it. The negative that you bring with your thoughts has nothing to do with reality. Therefore, the best thing you can do at this moment is to find the reason for such a reaction to innocent little things.
One of the most common reasons for jealousy is self-doubt. Those who are not all right with self-esteem try desperately to find flaws in others. It can be anyone, but most often it is the life partner that becomes the victim. And the worse the attitude towards oneself, the more jealous a person can be. Thus, he tries to neutralize his own imperfection and establish himself at someone else's expense. This option is considered one of the most unpleasant, because it requires not simple heart-to-heart conversations, but full-fledged intervention of specialists.
Another reason why many do not know how to deal with jealousy is problems from childhood. Often, people who have received less parental attention tend to always pull the blanket over themselves in older relationships. This means that they will react negatively if the other half wastes their warmth and care on someone other than the jealous person. And this will become the reason for all the quarrels. It is possible to bring such "mature children" to life, but it will take an ocean of patience.
Another reason to turn into a jealous monster is the sad experience of previous relationships. Those who have been mercilessly betrayed. Those who were constantly betrayed and who were not valued will try to prevent this from happening in the future. Therefore, the level of their suspicion in relation to the second half will simply go off scale. Nobody wants to become a victim again. However, shifting some of the blame for the past onto your current partner is just a way to alienate a truly loving person.
Entering the Warpath 3
It is impossible to completely forget or rewrite previous experiences. However, you should always remember that every challenge in life teaches something. And if last time you showed not your best qualities, then you should give them up next time. However, if jealousy prevents you from living in peace and learning to trust your partner, you should resort to some of the tips below:
Call a spade a spade. Each feeling has its own name. Sometimes, in a fit of unreasonable jealousy, many confuse their feelings. If you think you are angry, then find the reason for this emotion. It may well turn out that these are simple experiences that are easy to pacify with a couple of reasonable arguments
- If there is no clear evidence, don't blame your partner. First, it will prevent you from speaking in a civilized manner. Secondly, it will allow especially cunning people to come up with a hundred excuses at once. Be straightforward and calm. Ask some leading questions that you know the exact answers to. Only if you notice a discrepancy. You can voice your doubts.
- Never hide your problem. If you are constantly feeling jealous, then it is better to say about it right away. The more you are silent, the more negativity and understatement can accumulate in you. And the worse will be the consequences when you break down and express everything.
- Switch your focus from constant spying on partners to your own self-development. If the reason for your jealousy is low self-esteem, then you should try hard to raise it. Tidy up your appearance, change your image, go in for sports, find a hobby. The less you focus on your shortcomings, the faster you will notice that you have no reason to be constantly jealous.
- If the outburst of emotions cannot be avoided, and you know for sure that they have nothing to do with the real actions of a loved one, then it is better to find an acceptable way to discharge. For some, this is running their own anonymous blog, for others - extreme hobbies. Whatever your choice, try not to be rude or offend your partner, because this way you will lose to yourself.
- Don't be an angry host who is afraid to let your soul mate leave the house. Remember - you are both adults and self-sufficient individuals who may have personal affairs. The more you try to limit his or her social circle, the less warm and sincere feelings you will receive in return. As a result, you simply will not have a single suspect, then you will have to come up with all the "evidence" yourself.
- Learn to let go of the past. Any negative experience carries certain information. But constantly reminding and scrolling about it in your head is not the best idea for those who do not know how to deal with jealousy. In this case, you will simply whip up negative emotions and can lose a new relationship. Stop waiting for calls from your ex, updating their social media pages, and carefully sorting through photos. Although it is difficult to erase all the bad from memory, it is quite possible to get rid of reminders in everyday life.
Use the account rule. Once you realize that you are overwhelmed by doubts and negative emotions, then just hold your breath and count to ten. Then exhale slowly. This will force you to shake up a little and reconnect logic and reason to the thought process, and not just self-esteem wounded by invented arguments
Even advice and methods that have not always been proven by many people do not always allow you to overcome an evil feeling. Sometimes for this you have to step over your pride and go to an appointment with a specialist. The most important thing in this matter is to acknowledge the problem. This is the only way to guarantee a successful outcome of the relationship. But if you ignore jealousy and consider it your own small feature, then soon you can find yourself alone and once again with a broken heart.
How not to be trapped in feelings 4
Despite the fact that jealousy brings little positive, many make many mistakes in the way of getting rid of this feeling. In particular, they go to great lengths to fully ensure the loyalty of loved ones. Some for the sake of this arrange real detective surveillance. Needless to say, in case of detection by the second halves, nothing good comes out, except for a scandal? It is necessary to distinguish between such concepts as to deal with jealousy and to follow her lead. If you indulge your whims and shortcomings, you are not one step closer to healing.
Another way that should not be tested in practice is to endure. The only thing that really matters for people who are obsessed with jealousy is to acknowledge its existence. The opinion that over time it will disappear, and you can heal happily and for a long time, is wrong. Ignoring the problem will not make it evaporate, but will only do much more. Don't try to pretend that everything is fine if in fact you are almost grabbing the knife. Remember that your partner will not know about your worries if you hide them all the time. Show respect for the person around you and be honest with them.
One of the mistakes that does not seem obvious is to start indulging all the desires of the soul mate. It would seem - what's wrong here? However, we must not forget that no human is born perfect. This means that if your partner constantly demands some kind of drastic changes from you, then he is not so loving. Striving to become better for a loved one is one thing.
But sacrificing your principles, dreams and aspirations just to please someone is another. If from what you have to do for the sake of so-called love, you have to suffer for others, and first of all for you, then this is a sign that you need to seriously talk with your chosen one. And, possibly, part.
The last mistake is to constantly look in the past of your new partner for something that will speak of potential betrayal. There are no people who have never made a mistake. And there is a huge chance that a girl who in the past could be unfaithful to others has now realized the beauty of monogamy, and a guy who constantly changes women was able to fall in love with one single one. Everyone can change, and you can hardly become a judge for others. Just accept the fact that you cannot fix not only your own, but also someone else's past.
Jealousy is not a sweet feeling that demonstrates the depth and sincerity of love. This is a real vice that can negate a really strong relationship. Because of jealousy, people are ready to offend each other, inflict severe pain and even take life. Getting rid of morbid jealousy is a necessary step on the path to a happy life.
It is impossible to constantly live in suspicion and not trust others. So you can soon go crazy and get a bunch of accompanying sores. Therefore, learn to love yourself, open your heart to your soul mate and live in the future, not the past. Then no fear will prevent you from finding true and unconditional love.