Table of contents:
- Part one. Reflection on … i
- Rules for communication after a date2
- Experience is the son of difficult mistakes3
Video: How To Behave After A First Date: Debriefing
The first date is always lumpy, like that pancake. It's a rare occasion when everything goes smoothly. Basically, there are so many jambs that it's scary to remember later. And then the worm of doubt begins to sharpen: how to behave after the first date?
The content of the article
- 1 Part one. Reflection on the topic …
- 2 Rules for communication after a date
- 3 Experience is the son of difficult mistakes
Yes, of course, some awkwardness is definitely present, and it can develop into complete delirium of the paranoid. As a result, the end is sad. So, to prevent this from happening, it is necessary to conduct a debriefing.
Part one. Reflection on … i
First you need to understand that this is the first date after all. Don't jump to conclusions. The approach to this issue should be versatile. After all, every coin has two sides. The date can be pleasant or frustrating. But in any case, this is the first meeting, and it is too early to draw conclusions. They will be wrong and biased
Of course, it is far from the fact that the attraction will arise from the first minutes. That is unlikely. Chopping off the shoulder, refusing a second meeting is shortsighted and reckless. A person should definitely be given a second chance. The initiator of the first date should invite again, and the invitee should not refuse to meet again. It is possible that everything will go completely differently.
If the date went great, and the most rosy memories remain, then you should not delude yourself. It's just the euphoria from the first meeting, at which everyone is trying to behave as beautifully as possible.
Self-digging is not the best method of analysis. You can get into such a jungle and pile up such towns that you will not get out. Moreover, the scale of fantasies can really go off scale, but the truth, as always, will be somewhere nearby
There is no need to cling to trifles: "and he looked like this," "and she touched it like that." The person is also nervous and on the verge of hysteria. The fact that his left eye twitches is quite normal and does not mean at all that he is a hysteroid, and trembling hands are not an indicator of hidden alcoholism. Yes, all sorts of little things can slightly open the veil of secrets of the essence of this individual, but it is unrealistic to compose a portrait from them.
Especially, some picky comrades freak out about the phone. If a person looked at the phone at some point in the meeting, this does not mean that he is an ill-bred donkey. This means that he has good reasons to look there. Suddenly he is waiting for an important message. Elementary: confirmation of table reservation or arrival of a courier from a pizzeria.
The question of a second date is always confusing. If the offer or consent was not received immediately, then you should not despair. A person also needs to understand his feelings. It is wiser to take a short pause, but with a seed for the near future. For example, the phrase could sound like this: “It was interesting to spend time, I would like to talk again. May I call you? " Even if you don't really want to call, you can simply disappear. Nobody owes anything to anyone. This is just a face-to-face acquaintance. Likewise, you can also refuse easily without any obligations and fear of offending a person. Still, there should be a second chance
- Intuition is a powerful thing, and it is foolish to neglect it. Alarm bells can sound throughout the meeting. For a more objective assessment, it is necessary to pay attention to a person's behavior in a fleeting situation, for example, communicating with a waiter. Constant silence with a sour expression and thoughtless picking at the plate can also play a role. It is immediately clear that a person is definitely not ice, and there simply cannot be a second chance a priori. Why force your psyche if a person is unpleasant?
- The notorious spark on the first date may not slip through. But that doesn't mean anything yet. But if a person is specifically uninteresting and does not attract in any way, then there is no need to waste your time, however, like him too. Based on the above, you can poke around in ice cream with a spoon and periodically glance at your phone. It is not worth portraying genuine interest, otherwise this theater of one actor will finish off both. But, sometimes, it seems, and not happy with the meeting, but there was something in it. Then you can sacrifice one more evening, suddenly the sacrifice is not in vain.
Rules for communication after a date2
- If the interest in further communication has not faded away, then you can write a simple message. It could be a thank you for a great time. It is not necessary to sprinkle with metaphors and epithets, and even more so to crumble with monograms of feelings. It is enough just to comment that it was great and there is a desire to meet again. Once upon a time etiquette prescribed to maintain a temporary pause, something about three days. Now this relic of the past has gone into oblivion only because the world has become more mobile and dynamic. Therefore, such a message can be sent, if not immediately, then the next day for sure.
- Social networks and instant messengers are a great bridge to continue communication. They help relieve some of the awkwardness of the first date. If there is a vis-a-vis in "friends", then you can place a post on your wall with a hint, which will be reflected in the person's tape. This will be a great confirmation of the emotions that the evening caused. If there is no person in the “friends”, then there is no need to start knocking “accept me as a friend”. It's too intrusive. Moreover, it is not a fact that a person wants to continue.
- It is best to talk about your wishes right away. I want to go on the next date - go ahead, I want to forget everything, like a bad dream - as honestly and delicately as possible, you need to report this. And there is no need to delay either one or the other. This is perhaps one of the most important aspects of how to behave after a first date.
It is equally important to be able to correctly accept a negative answer. A person is not a carrot for everyone to like. Therefore, it is stupid to be offended, upset, or react more inadequately. By the way, the fact that a person refused immediately is worthy of respect. Brain splitting under the auspices of "not offending" is much worse and disgusting
Experience is the son of difficult mistakes3
What needs to be figured out once and for all when wondering how to behave on a first date? So:
Dosage of messages. This moment is clearly visible in the answers. A person can respond after a long time, in short phrases, or even send emoticons. At such moments, you need to restrain the horses, otherwise it will be too intrusive and irritating. If a person maintains correspondence, then everything is fine. Light and casual chatter only brings you closer. But ignore has to say a lot. And only a fool will not understand that he did not come to court
- Calls are now a complete mess. Firstly, the call may ring more than at the wrong time. Secondly, before calling, you need to inquire about the degree of employment of a person. This is elementary mobile communication etiquette. Thirdly, now it is customary to clarify what type of communication a person prefers. Older people prefer to call. Youth to correspond. So inquiring about preferences is quite appropriate.
- Studying pages on social networks is a bad way to get to know a person. Especially stupidity is the judgment about a person by his subscriptions. A subscriber to culinary publics can turn out to be a complete sucker even in cooking scrambled eggs, and the presence of porn groups does not at all indicate the perverse essence of the object. So social media is not the best way to get to know a person better.
- The first date doesn't mean anything yet. To inflate an elephant out of a fly and wander around pink clouds is not worth it. The first date is just an opportunity to get to know the person in more detail, not creating a couple. Therefore, there is no need to discount other candidates, if any.
- Well, the last mistake is the meeting place. The first date is about socializing, not watching a movie in a crowded theater.
That's all the answers to the question "how to behave after the first date"? And if they helped to correctly model further behavior, then they were correct.