Is It Possible To Forgive The Betrayal Of A Husband Or Wife: How To Forget And Never Remember About It

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Is It Possible To Forgive The Betrayal Of A Husband Or Wife: How To Forget And Never Remember About It
Is It Possible To Forgive The Betrayal Of A Husband Or Wife: How To Forget And Never Remember About It

Video: Is It Possible To Forgive The Betrayal Of A Husband Or Wife: How To Forget And Never Remember About It

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Video: How To Forgive When You Can’t (Or Shouldn’t) Forget 2023, January
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Is it possible to forgive treason
Is it possible to forgive treason

Many consider love to be boundless happiness, a feeling filled with tenderness, warmth and affectionate sunlight. Touches of hands, lips and bodies, eye-to-eye gaze and complete dissolution in each other. Yes, this is exactly how it happens … up to a certain time.

The content of the article

  • 1 Resentment is an integral part of love
  • 2 Verdict - both are to blame
  • 3 Relationships in which there is no place for treason
  • 4 Treason is not a cause, but an effect
  • 5 Most Common Reasons for Male Cheating
  • 6 For what reasons the keeper of the home changes

A time when suddenly something is disturbed and happiness is replaced by black clouds of resentment and disappointment. One of the main factors that can destroy even the strongest feelings is the betrayal of a loved one. Is it possible to forgive the betrayal of a loved one (beloved), forget about it and never remember?

Resentment is an integral part of love

“To love” and “to forgive” - these two concepts are inseparable and always go hand in hand in life. Of course, resentment, resentment, strife, and if one of the partners has forgotten about some event or has not bought the promised candy in the supermarket, you can pout and show your beloved (beloved) what a huge “sadness” follows such an act. Naturally, forgiveness of such an insignificant offense follows almost instantly. Well, unless the half will have to provide a gift for the celebration or buy sweets to atone for their guilt.

But, unfortunately, in the life of lovers there are also more false situations in which you cannot get by with sweets and congratulations. And it is not known whether it is possible at all to make amends for such an offense as treason, which injured a partner worse than a knife stuck in the back. After all, it is the betrayal of a loved one that is most difficult to forgive. Many couples never succeed in doing this, and betrayal inevitably ends in separation and divorce.

So what happens after cheating? There are two options for the development of events:

  1. Forgive and try to forget - this inevitably leaves a sediment on the soul and fear of repeated betrayal.
  2. To save a relationship is to draw conclusions about what happened and, against this background, improve relationships.

In order to choose for yourself which path to follow, you need to carefully understand the root causes of treason.

how to forgive treason
how to forgive treason

Verdict - Both are to blame2

Before wondering if treason can be forgiven, you need to understand what was the reason for such an act. Love is a close world of relations between two people. And here the main feature is that for everything that happens between them, they are equally responsible. Together and equally, and this is not negotiated. It cannot be argued that they say, I am so good (good), but they simply do not appreciate and notice me. It doesn't work that way! Somewhere they did not finish, somewhere they did not listen to the end, somewhere they did not embrace it, somewhere they simply did not want to hear. Always both, one is never to blame.

Relationships in which there is no place for betrayal3

Most ships of the family voyage, stumbling into the ocean of family life on the iceberg of treason, go to the bottom. Some drown instantly, while others - like the legendary "Titanic" are still trying to agonize, close hatches and send distress signals. Only in any case, faced with treason, you must first ask yourself the question "Why?"

Never cheating, which became the reason for divorce, does not arise by itself. It is just a consequence of certain events or actions. When the relationship is perfect, there can be no talk of cheating. In principle, the word "ideal" does not quite fit the definition of the relationship of partners or spouses, since in our world there is simply nothing ideal, including relationships.

forgive a guy for cheating
forgive a guy for cheating

We are talking here about close to perfect relationships. And here should already be present not only love, generously seasoned with sex, but also many other components:

  • Mutual respect
  • Mutual assistance
  • Willingness to listen and support at any time of the day, regardless of their own problems
  • Dedication
  • Empathy
  • Willingness to concede
  • Ability to conduct a dialogue and discuss emerging problems

This is not a complete list of all the components of a true strong relationship. Such a relationship in which none of the partners simply can not think of treason.

Cheating is not a cause, but an effect4

According to the world's leading psychologists, the fact of betrayal is only a confirmation that the relationship cracked much earlier and the partners simply did not manage, or did not want to pay attention to the crisis point. The point at which it was possible to fix everything and prevent treason.

I can not forgive treason
I can not forgive treason

It is this crisis, to which the partners did not pay attention, that the betrayal of a loved one - betrayal - pulls out into the white light. And it is from the cause or reasons of what happened that should be based on when deciding whether treason can be forgiven.

Of course, you can forgive. But for this, the partners will have to return to the line beyond which they have turned from a single whole into cohabitants - two people living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed and having lunch in the same kitchen, but at the same time, absolutely (or practically) indifferent friends to a friend of people.

This is where the main secret of treason lies - if one of the partners is sorely lacking something in a relationship, sooner or later he begins to look for the missing link “on the side”. And it doesn't matter if there was a betrayal in a sober state, or in a state of alcoholic intoxication - the fact remains.

To some extent, treason can be considered a kind of cry for help. After all, the partner did not turn around and leave with the packed suitcases. No, he is still trying to maintain a relationship, and cheating was a breath of the air he needed so much at this moment. You can endlessly talk about how long partners are preparing for treason. In each case, everything happens purely individually.

is it worth forgiving treason
is it worth forgiving treason

Some warm the thought of cheating for years, for one reason or another, never daring to betray their soul mate. Others, on the contrary, spontaneously throw themselves into someone else's bed, not really thinking about their actions. The last category of "cheaters" acts spontaneously, on a subconscious level. This type of betrayal is most often found when a person is drunk.

Well, it is quite natural that when talking about infidelity, one cannot fail to note some differences between male and female betrayal. Of course, the common reasons for both sexes are the same. But, there are also details that distinguish those accompanying factors that push a man and a woman to cheat.

The most common reasons for male cheating5

It is quite natural that no one is going to justify the betrayed person. However, in order to understand whether it is possible to forgive the betrayal of a loved one (if he is really beloved), you can try to find an explanation for his act and, if possible, return everything back and correct the mistakes made. According to the world's leading psychologists, the following circumstances can push a man into treason:

A neurotic need for love formed in early childhood. The main thing here is the lack of maternal love, or its complete absence. The matured toddler is trying to compensate for this deficit in adulthood. In the beginning, he enjoys his "only" love. But, soon this becomes not enough for him, and he begins to look for an additional source of love on the side. Often not alone, so he finds tenderness that was not received in childhood

how to forgive treason
how to forgive treason
  1. Many men have a tendency, after getting used to one woman, to start looking for a replacement. In a constant search for new sensations, they simply psychologically cannot remain faithful to one partner. A woman satisfies them only up to the stage when there is still some mystery in their relationship. The consequence of a man's addiction is a sharp cooling of the relationship and, the moment when his beloved has nothing to surprise him with and become an impetus for a wave of new and interesting relationships for him with a new lady.
  2. Almost all men need to be constantly aware of their irresistibility and incredible sexuality. Here lies the mistake that women who have a permanent partner often make. Magical and enchantingly incredible sex with a loved one, for which he at first heard many words flattering for himself, becomes commonplace. The beloved stops praising and encouraging him and this becomes the first reason why a man ends up in someone else's bed. He just needs to be sure that he is also irresistible, to know this, to hear about it.
  3. The cause of infidelity can be both a lack and an overabundance of female love in childhood. Mom and grandmothers, who surrounded the boy from all sides with tenderness, love and affection, subconsciously taught him that there should be a lot of female love. That is why, having matured, he cannot be satisfied with the feelings of one woman. For him, they must necessarily be "seasoned" with the love and tenderness of a mistress.
easy to forgive treason
easy to forgive treason

However, speaking about men, do not forget that sweet and fragile women cheat on their partners no less often than they do. As statistics show, one out of thirteen men on the planet is raising someone else's child, without knowing it at all. So why do women rush into the pool with the head?

For what reasons the keeper of the home cheats6

Most women are by nature more emotional and impulsive creatures. Therefore, the reasons for their betrayal are somewhat different from those of men. So what makes decent wives and mothers look for love on the side?

Passion

A woman can experience such a feeling only once in her life. To cope with this all-consuming emotion is simply beyond the power of a woman. As if pierced by a lightning strike, she completely forgets about everything and … about everyone. Unable to stop and not being able to stay with her husband at this moment, she simply packs up her suitcases and leaves for her new beloved. The most interesting thing is that a suddenly arisen passion can die out as abruptly as it began. But in most cases, such wives do not return to their husbands, preferring to start a new life.

Revenge

They say there is nothing worse than an angry woman. In many ways, this opinion is correct. A woman who has experienced treason sees no other way out but to take revenge. She pays in kind to hurt him the same way he hurt her. Most often, she will definitely want him to know about her betrayal.

way to forgive betrayal
way to forgive betrayal

Option number 2

Here we are talking about the so-called "alternate airfield". Most often, such relationships are inherent in girls who have not yet gotten married. Having two or more partners at the same time, she "runs" between them, choosing the best and in each maintaining interest in her specialty, seasoned with notes of jealousy. If she accidentally quarrels with option number 2, it will always be possible to return to the bored first option. By and large, this is not even treason, but a special version of the relationship of an unmarried girl.

Replenishment of the missing

It doesn't matter what exactly a woman lacks - love, money, attention, compliments or sex, she will seek compensation for this deficit on the side. In this case, the lover is to some extent also an attempt to explain to his partner the fact that he does not satisfy all her needs.

Sexual dissatisfaction

No matter how ideal her companion is, if a woman feels sexual dissatisfaction smoldering with a small coal in her heart, then one hundred percent of this coal sooner or later a fire of desire will flare up, pushing for treason. Most often, such a betrayal is a "one-time action" and if it happens again, then only after a long period of time.

Cheating out of boredom

Oddly enough, very often women cheat on successful men. While he is immersed in business, the purpose of which is to buy her another car, diamonds, fur coat…. She is bored at home. The servants are engaged in the household, and she alone, sooner or later tired of waiting for her husband, will find entertainment on the side. The only way out of this situation is to search for a really interesting hobby.

how to forgive your husband's betrayal
how to forgive your husband's betrayal

An attempt to assert itself

Men should know that a humiliated woman, especially if she is undeservedly humiliated, will definitely check whether this is really so. And the best option for such testing is a lover. After all, it is he who will be able to tell her how good she is. And here is the most dangerous thing for her husband. Realizing that she is still wow, the woman will no longer be able to remain for him an uncomplaining humiliated slave.

Wild desire

Yes, that's right, women are also inherent in banal lust, which can push even the most respectable wife and mother to cheat.

So, men should pay attention to their wives and not consider them a hybrid of a vacuum cleaner - a dishwasher - a microwave oven - a washing machine. Otherwise, you will have to move carefully so as not to knock down the chandeliers and lamps.

And if to be serious, then, as it becomes clear from the above, everything comes from childhood. Modern psychological techniques in the overwhelming majority of cases can help to cope with both the problem of treason itself and the problem when you just want to change. They also help to figure out whether treason can be forgiven. But, unfortunately, few of our fellow citizens rush to turn to psychologists in the event of family conflicts.

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