Love And Affection - What's The Difference? Answering Questions

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Love And Affection - What's The Difference? Answering Questions
Love And Affection - What's The Difference? Answering Questions

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Love or affection
Love or affection

Needless to say, love rules the world? A feeling that fills life with meaning and bright colors, breaks hearts and inspires. All people on earth yearn to experience this feeling. Love or affection sometimes becomes inseparable components of a strong relationship.

The content of the article

  • 1 Love
  • 2 Stages of love
  • 3 Affection
  • 4 How to define love or affection?

For the first time, interest in the opposite sex arises in kindergarten and from here does not cease to excite a person until old age. What can I say, and in old age - no less important. In Russia, there is no age limit for marriage, since this desire and right is considered a value and is respected by the state. However, in the 18th century there was a restriction: men were allowed to marry up to 80 years old, women up to 60.

Let's try to figure out what love and affection are. How to discern in a relationship.


It will not work to give a correct and accurate definition of love, because for everyone love is an individual feeling that only a specific person experiences. For one, it will be expressed in care, trust and bodily contact, for another it will be tenderness, mutual understanding, and for the third - passionate sex and dinner after work.

Here are two definitions of love.

In psychology:

Love is a deep feeling of sympathy and selflessness for another person.

It's dry and not clear. If you try to reveal this concept, then to love a person means to give yourself. Constantly thinking about him, about his needs and desires, having fun seeing how the other half is happy and not asking for anything in return. Give his life for him if need be. By the way, statistics show that 25% of suicides occur on the basis of unrequited love.

In science:

Love - biochemical processes in the human body, as a result of which the following hormones are produced in the brain: phenylethylamine - the feeling of "grown wings", dopamine - the feeling of satisfaction and pleasure, and oxytocin - acts on the reproductive organs of men and women.

Read more about the definition of the word "love" in our article at the link.

Stages of love2

The filmmakers show the origin of sincere emotions beautifully and romantically. “A fair-haired girl with big blue eyes rushes to the office, carrying a sheaf of papers, a tall, sexy brunette with sensual lips bumps into her. Papers fly apart, he helps to collect, eye to eye "and then everything is banal.

Few people in life will boast of such an acquaintance. Everything happens much more banal than in the movies, but this does not prevent the birth of a real feeling. Tell me, from what moment do you think about a person? This is the spark. First emotion.

Love is divided into stages that are not easy to go through.

The first stage is love. Love is confused with this concept. Love lasts on average 2 - 3 years. Couples in love who are in this state do not see anyone or anything around. Are immersed in each other. They enjoy every minute spent together, do not notice the shortcomings. As if they are in hibernation. In a state of euphoria

what is the key to a perfect relationship
what is the key to a perfect relationship
  • The second is awakening from sleep. Having "satiated" each other in plenty, the lovers seem to wake up and return to real life. They open their eyes and begin to notice each other's flaws. The first quarrels arise.
  • Stage three. Test of the union for strength. The veil has fallen from our eyes, and we begin to see the partner's shortcomings without noticing the advantages that we used to enjoy. Mutual insults, reproaches, scandals. At this stage, attempts are made to change the partner or "adjust the partner for themselves." During this period, most couples diverge. It lasts from one year to several years.
  • Fourth. The stage of accepting a person as he is. We accept the shortcomings and decide whether we are ready to put up with them or not. If the desire to be together remains, then humility occurs.
  • Fifth stage. Respect and friendship. Couples, realizing how much they have gone through together, begin to respect each other, respect opinions, needs. I would like to please a loved one without demanding anything in return. The partner becomes a companion, companion, assistant and advisor. Not all couples make it to this stage.
  • The fifth is the final one. True love. There are no scandals and quarrels here, the second half was accepted with disadvantages and advantages. The latter become pronounced. The company of each other brings peace and a warm feeling of happiness.
pledge of perfect relationship
pledge of perfect relationship

Having gone through all five stages, we can safely say that people love each other and this is a jointly deserved benefit.

So, if you have more or less figured out with love, then what is attachment?


Attachment, like love, accompanies us throughout life. First to mother and father, then to sisters and brothers. For kindergarten teachers, friends, a puppy that my father gave for his birthday. Every moment of life involves being dependent on someone.

Affection is a consequence of a deep feeling of sympathy or love, complemented by intimacy and the desire to maintain it.

In simple terms, this is a habit. For example, after a working day you went to the store together, in the evenings you watched your favorite show. What happens when you break up. You will feel longing, you will be pulled back. You will want to relive these moments again and again. Like smoking. When you smoke a cigarette, return to it again and again.

Can there be love without attachment and attachment without love? Can.

In the first case, where there is love and no attachment, the relationship will be open. They will have trust, respect and there will be no feeling of dependence and the need for the constant presence of another person. Both partners will be successful and independent, will develop and improve themselves.

Love or affection
Love or affection

In the second case, the relationship is considered "unhealthy". The sense of ownership will constantly lead to jealousy and distrust. Attachment in some cases arises from the fear of loneliness. It can be psychological, emotional or physical, and each of these is pathological. This relationship does not last long.

However, true love cannot be without attachment. She complements the feeling of love, making lovers miss each other in separation and feel inferior when the other half is not around. The feeling constantly arises as if something is missing.

How to define love or affection? 4

How to define attached to a person or sincerely love? Look at the relationship in a different way. Answer the questions honestly:

  • When I try to please a person, do I expect the same in return?
  • When I tell my acquaintances about a joint purchase, do I say "we" or "me"?
  • Do I trust the second half? (if there was no fact of betrayal).
  • What do I like more in a person, appearance or personal qualities, inner world?
  • Do you feel regret when your partner doesn't succeed?
what is needed for a perfect relationship
what is needed for a perfect relationship
  • Do I accept a partner with pros and cons?
  • Do I support when my loved one is hard?

Evaluate the results. If you do not accept the flaws, do not trust and you like the person's appearance more - rather, it is attachment. Take a closer look, perhaps feelings are far from love, is it necessary to continue such a relationship? Maybe you should stop and make room in your heart for sincere, deep feelings?

Be realistic, understand - there are no ideal people. They all have pros and cons.

We also recommend reading the article on love and being in love - how to understand that this is a real feeling?

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