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In the old fashioned way, it is generally accepted that love and jealousy are inseparable friends, without which it is impossible to imagine any romantic relationship. However, psychologists talk about the obvious fallacy of such a stereotyped opinion. This article is about how to deal with jealousy according to the advice of psychologists.
The content of the article
- 1 Reasons for jealousy
- 2 Why jealousy is bad
- 3 Symptoms of jealousy
- 4 Jealousy therapy
Reasons for jealousy
There are several reasons for the appearance of jealousy:
- Low self-esteem. One of the most common reasons when a jealous person subconsciously believes that his rival is superior in some way, for example: he is prettier, stronger, smarter or richer.
- Fear of losing a loved one. This reason is typical for people who are insecure or doubtful of themselves. They may be panicky afraid of losing a partner and, therefore, be jealous of him for the slightest reason and without.
- Selfishness. Selfish jealous people automatically consider their partner their property. Such people are infuriated by the mere thought that their other halves can freely contact individuals of the opposite sex. If it was their will, they would deprive them of any rights and desires.
- Negative experience. As the saying goes, "burnt in milk - you blow on the water." So, people who have known betrayal are no longer able to relax and trust their partner. They will see treason and conspiracy everywhere.
It is possible that the jealous person judges his partner for himself. If thoughts of treason come to him, then he believes that his partner can give slack and tries to control it better.
Why jealousy is bad2
If jealousy is not pathological, then it is able to ask "pepper" relationships. Many people believe that jealousy is an indicator of a relationship and the more this feeling manifests itself, the more the jealous person values his partner. However, over time, this behavior begins to bear its "wormy fruits".
A jealous person lives, feeling constant psychological discomfort, his companions become self-doubt and fear of losing his partner. Such mental uneasiness can cause nervous disorders and even diseases.
The product of jealousy is envy. This feeling can spread not only to potential rivals, but also to other people who have an excellent relationship with the jealous partner. Envy is one of the worst vices that can provoke a person to do the worst things.
A jealous person is dependent on the object of his adoration. Any negativity in a relationship can be catastrophic, and pleasant moments can be intoxicating. As a result, a painful pathological connection may appear.
Few people manage to keep jealousy under control, and a feeling that has escaped into will is like a hurricane, sweeping away everything in its path. Broken family relationships, broken friendships, discord between lovers can become its victims.
Sometimes jealousy can whip up the feelings of lovers and give them new facets. It can also stimulate a person to improve themselves. However, such a complex feeling is difficult to control, so psychologists advise getting rid of jealousy in all possible ways.
Symptoms of jealousy3
In men and women, jealousy manifests itself in a peculiar way. Anxiety and self-delusion are characteristic of ladies. In exceptional cases, they are able to scandal and hysteria. To please their chosen ones, women can radically change their appearance: lose weight, change their haircut and hair color, etc.
For men, total control of their halves is characteristic. Many do not hesitate to use assault. Others try to be harsh or cold.
Jealous people of both sexes are capable of experiencing fits of rage, controlling contacts with third parties, arranging interrogations and surveillance, and quietly studying the gadgets of their beloved ones.
If jealousy becomes a stumbling block in the relationship of a couple, then you need to get rid of this feeling. Psychologists say this is difficult, but possible.
- To fight jealousy, you need to admit the existence of this problem. After that, it is worth establishing the real reason for this feeling and emotions that arise during bouts of jealousy.
- You need to explain to your partner in what cases there is a feeling of jealousy and discomfort, and also ask him to avoid such situations.
- You need to love, respect and appreciate yourself, in this case, thoughts about your own shortcomings will not undermine self-esteem.
- It is necessary to analyze what attracts a partner in a relationship and work in this direction, it is also useful to work out the shortcomings and eliminate them.
- Try to distract yourself. A robot, a hobby, or a pleasant pastime will help you relax, improve your mood and forget about what reasons you have for jealousy.
- Getting rid of negativity. Chatting on forums, intimate conversations with a friend, playing sports - you need to choose your own effective way to relieve tension and splash negative emotions.
If all of the above methods do not help you, you need to contact a psychologist who will help not only get rid of jealousy, but also analyze the relationship with your partner and, possibly, help build them harmoniously.