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It's no secret that a modern person spends most of his life on the Internet. There he gets to know each other, makes an appointment, communicates, but parting is still considered good form face to face. However, there are situations when it is much easier and, possibly, more correct to leave by writing a few phrases in the messenger.
The content of the article
- 1 While no one owes anyone anything
- 2 End it once and for all
- 3 It's safer this way
While no one owes anything to anyone
The simplest situation is that you only recently met. Maybe we met a couple of times in real life, and this did not bring the expected effect. When communicating online, everything went great, it seemed that you were just made for each other, and met - and a bummer.
Unfortunately, this happens quite often, especially if the virtual communication has been delayed, and your own version of the interlocutor's image has already been drawn too well in the mind. The discrepancy between a real person and the presented image can be very traumatic. It's good when both felt it, but what if one got it right? How can a person say that nothing has clicked?
This is where the online conversation will be relevant again. There you are already accustomed to understanding each other. After the meeting, you can re-enter the messenger and honestly talk about everything. Of course, the person will be hurt, but it's okay that you didn't dare to say about your disappointment in person, no. Contact and mutual understanding were achieved by you precisely in the virtual space, therefore it is more than logical and correct to explain yourself there.
Maybe you will even be able to preserve a virtual friendship if it did not manage to grow into something more in the network space.
Get it over with once and for all
The second case, when it is not that forgivable, but justified to break a relationship, use sms or a messenger - if you need to break off a relationship once and for all, even if you evoke not the brightest feelings, and maybe even hatred.
Decent people do not break off relations in absentia, only a completely cruel and inadequate person can do this. If you are not afraid of such a reputation, or if this is the goal, you can start typing a message. In a conversation, there is always the opportunity to leave a chance for reconciliation, it is quite difficult to tell a person in the eyes that everything is over. And it's not a fact that he will believe.
They used to say: “Paper will endure everything,” now you can rephrase: “The Internet will endure everything,” so it is easier to express yourself in a written message as tough and straightforward as possible. And you can write quite a lot without fear of being interrupted or pity will prevent you from finishing. From this point of view, it is much easier to write, and not to say.
There is a big plus in this kind of separation: a hard breakup is easier to survive than a soft “let's just stay friends, we have a lot of wonderful memories that I will never forget”. In some ways, the break in relations is similar to the principle of tearing off the plaster: it is better to abruptly and immediately, although it hurts, but quickly. Yes, and such a wound heals faster than one that is constantly reared. Breaking with the hope of reconciliation is much more difficult, according to research by psychologists.
It's safer this way3
It also happens that it is very difficult to talk. Various reasons: from one's own tongue-tied or stuttering in a stressful situation, to excessive emotionality of a partner. To be able to speak in a structured and understandable way, and not to mumble and say the same thing in a circle is worth a lot. And from the risk of getting a frying pan on the head or a hook on the right, the distance saves the best.
There are many people for whom it is normal to express their own thoughts out loud - a big problem. This does not mean at all that they have a small vocabulary or some kind of speech therapy problems. Let's start with the fact that, in principle, there are silent people for whom two or three words spoken in a day is already a rather long speech. This feature can do not very good service when you need to explain to a person and one "Go away!" will be small.
There are also real speech problems that prevent a person from using words, especially in critical and stressful situations. In this case, there is no question that writing something is indecent and impolite.
We should also say about hot-tempered and aggressive partners. Parting with them can be really dangerous to health, and even life. Perhaps, in a "cold" state, a person is not dangerous, even reasonable and calm, but in a critical situation he easily loses his temper and is capable of rash actions. Written communication in this case will be calmer and safer for both parties. One will not break the wood, and the other will not risk ending up in a hospital bed. After the first wave of emotions subside, you can even discuss everything calmly face to face. Although, better - not worth it. Get by with letters.