A Man Living At The Expense Of A Woman Or How To Recognize A Gigolo

Modernity is distinguished by phenomena that have never been seen before. For example, changing gender roles. Increasingly, you can find a couple in which a woman contains a man, and not vice versa. In society, there is an ambiguous attitude towards this fact.

The content of the article

• 1 Attitude towards a freeloader in Soviet times
• 2 Why is it bad to keep a man?
• 3 A new look at an old problem
• 4 Can any man be a gigolo?
• 5 How to distinguish a gigolo?
• 6 How does a woman feel in such a relationship?

Attitude to the freeloader in Soviet times

In Soviet times, the attitude towards a man who sits on a woman's neck was unambiguous.

Such a dependent is vividly described by Daria Dontsova. This is an overgrown child accustomed to sitting behind his mother or grandmother. A person who does not have the skills to maintain himself in everyday life, therefore, in search of a wife who would continue family traditions. They tolerate him, because they do not imagine how it could be otherwise. And also because he is a "genius". Usually this is a literary, less often scientific, incorruptible woman who will show people what real talent is (where's Pushkin!). While waiting for the release of the work, he sleeps sweetly and eats deliciously, without bothering with the question of where things and products come from in the house.

Most often, such a story ends badly - either with a complete financial collapse of the family, or with a dubious scam, in which the "genius" dies or goes to jail.

So the writer is derogatory to loafers and freeloaders, expressing the general opinion. It can rightfully be called the Soviet attitude, since in that society it was customary to consider a man as a breadwinner and head of the family. And that's the only way, without exceptions.

Times are changing, has the attitude towards parasites and women who claim to contain a man changed?

Why is maintaining a man bad? 2

Why does a woman have to support a man? Obviously, because he does not earn enough not only to take care of the woman, but also to provide for himself.

Female coaches say you need to stay away from this. Otherwise, the energy of low income, like an infectious disease, will pass to the girl. And then the population of the planet will increase by one poor man, or rather, a poor man.

They also add that the male prerogative is to give, including money, and the female prerogative is to receive. And pay, but not with money, but with other values - love, affection, support, attention.

It is difficult to argue with the fact that everything in our world is permeated with energy, but whether it is infectious or not is still unknown.

But other facts, already from the point of view of psychology, are known, which indicate that the female motto: "I contain a man" is bad. Because:

Forces a woman to take a deliberately wrong position - I can influence him. Despite the fact that it has long been proven that you can only change yourself, ladies continue to believe in their exclusivity, in the fact that they will be able to change a man. A situation like this always ends in collapse, a broken heart, and the belief that happiness is impossible

A gigolo man is an ordinary person, subject to the laws of psychology, which claims that our life is controlled by the subconscious. And there the age-old foundations are laid, saying that the right thing is to support a woman yourself, and not live at her expense. Consciousness makes you act the other way around, which results in an internal conflict. The result is life on the edge, alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling addiction, depression

This state of affairs, when a woman gives money to a man, forces him to gradually perceive her as a mother. And they don't sleep with mothers. The sexual component of the relationship fades away, which further complicates the situation

Men who get along do not suffer from idiocy, and know how to look ahead. For example, he puts the money taken from a woman into his account, and weaves a new fairy tale for her. It's the same with relationships. He understands that the design is unreliable, which means that you need to be always ready to rush into the search. Or maybe not wait for a suitable opportunity, and now prepare an alternate airfield. Cheating is a characteristic feature of such a union

Needless to say, from a psychological point of view, everything looks not at all rosy. And a woman needs to think seriously before entering into such a relationship.

A new look at an old problem3

However, time passes, morals change. A situation has developed in which women voluntarily agree to pay men for their presence in life. Moreover, the trend is growing from year to year. Employees of dating services note that literally 7-10 years ago, men were not interested in the financial situation of the chosen ones. Now this is not only the most popular query, but also a new addition to the questionnaire - "not against the content."

How do women feel about this? In different ways, how many women, so many opinions. However, there are some general trends.

Business woman

The number of gigolo men has grown dramatically with the advent of business women. From their youth, they made a choice in favor of a career. Sooner or later, the business improved, money and time appeared, but there was no personal life. As a rule, these are aged ladies, they believe that decent men are dismantled, but they do not want to look at bad ones. That's when young boys appear who warm the bed, and for this she buys clothes, a car, a telephone, takes full support. Usually not attached, often changes, fortunately, the choice has recently appeared. If he is inflamed with feelings, he is quickly disappointed, faced with infidelity, greed and lies.

Mutually beneficial cooperation

Again, the new generation of girls is not averse to supporting a man. All in her work, she does not like to look after the house, cook and create comfort, she gladly and gratefully accepts the help of a man. Such a shift in roles is good when it suits both sides without causing a conflict. The man fulfills his role - he helps the girl morally, has sex, keeps the household in an exemplary order, in the evenings he waits with a hot dinner. And she does what she is used to, appreciates comfort and support. Everyone is happy.

So far, this is not a well-studied aspect of interpersonal relations, and there is no data on how long this status quo persists. Science will have its say.

Sacrifice

If a man is closely engaged in science, he has no opportunity to earn money. There is work, but researchers without special regalia are paid little, so the wife takes on this burden. And then it depends only on her how family life will turn: if she considers this situation normal, the family will survive, if it cannot, it will disintegrate. Often she takes the situation calmly, believing that the time will come and the husband's work will be appreciated, and they will bring material results.

Psychological problems

It turned out that there are life situations in which the wife begins to support her husband because of unresolved psychological issues. When childhood traumas are so severe that they plunge a man into depression, they are not allowed to cope with the situation. The specialist will help not only to understand the causes of the conflict, but also to eliminate them. Then the man will again be filled with faith in himself and the desire for success.

Time will tell

There are also cases when a wife has to support her husband in a difficult period of his life - he was fired, got sick, and makes a career. There are many reasons. That rare case when the material support of the wife for the family plays a decisive role. Sooner or later, the husband finds a job, recovers, and his career goes uphill. Then the fact when I had to live on the means of my wife, but she did not reproach, but believed, is remembered with gratitude and warmth. The husband appreciates his wife even more, and does everything to provide for the family.

Yes, there are situations when women put up with the fact that they have to support a man, but, in general, the attitude towards this fact is negative.

Can any man be a gigolo? 4

No, a normal man, even when he finds himself in a situation of financial dependence on a woman, will try to find a way out and start earning.

Psychologists note the common features that led to the man becoming a gigolo:

the parental family had an authoritarian mother who suppressed her husband, or he was not there

• a boy who was not raised as an independent person, a person capable of taking responsibility. From a woman he expects a solution to his problems, custody and material content;
• Dontsova's "genius", who believes that everyone around him lives only to serve him. I became such because from childhood I was used to hearing about my exclusivity and genius, to take "service" for granted;
• young men who want to get everything at once, by marrying an elderly, but rich and famous diva. Usually these are spoiled children, accustomed to the fact that everything in life is easy;

• if in childhood a boy received a psychological trauma associated with a woman, then he begins to hate them and believe that women have a duty to men for the fact that they give pleasure in bed;
• because of fear and uncertainty, a person does not move forward, does not develop. If next to him is a well-earning woman, then she does not stop there. There is a conflict of speeds when one moves forward and the other pulls it back. By the way, a woman who is in a long alliance with this type also usually has psychological problems. It is difficult for her to accept the current situation, but she is also afraid to remain alone. Such a story ends with a difficult female recovery or drags on for many years.

Conclusion: a man with imbalances in upbringing can become a gigolo.

How to distinguish a gigolo? 5

If a woman does not want to support a man, she needs to know by what signs she can distinguish him. Psychologists advise paying attention to a man's behavior:

At the very beginning of the acquaintance, the gigolo will be very persistent. He gives flowers, confesses his love, fills them with compliments. But one has only to surrender under the onslaught, everything immediately disappears - gifts, bouquets, feelings

In bed, he does not call a woman by name. Obviously, it is explained by the fact that there he is relaxed, feels vulnerable and does not want to open up, because real goals do not shine with beauty

He speaks little or not at all about himself, but listens with interest to the girl, pushes her to talk about herself. And if he asks questions, he is interested in the material side

Women are compassionate creatures, and they are led by stories about a difficult childhood, personal tragedy, life obstacles. All of this dark narrative has one goal - to evoke sympathy, and then a desire to help and warm

He deftly leads to the idea that help should be material. For example, a hard part of childhood passed into adulthood in the form of a large debt that threatens his life and health, or someone close to him is sick

An important task for the gigolo is not to let go of the "goldfish". And here he can, of course, go overboard and be useful in the household, but more often than not he is zealous in bed. A normal woman, like a man, needs sex, but what if it is exceptional, unique, stunning? Who wants to give up such happiness ?! And if you want to have, pay, dear

Recognizing the gigolo is not so difficult. It's harder to give up a doomed relationship.

How does a woman feel in such a relationship? 6

There are only two alternatives.

Perfectly

If a woman approaches this consciously, she does not feel like a victim, but takes everything she can from the situation. For example, a young boy gives a business woman an unforgettable sex that helps her look young and feel great. Or a situation when a man, who is supported by a lady, provides comfort and homeliness. Such women are calm, adequately perceive reality, take care of themselves and are happy in their own way.

Terrible

If she annoys herself, she looks as bad as she feels. Because she gets tired of hard, hopeless work, does not feel support, only a heavy burden that she has taken on herself. A situation that is difficult to tolerate is better to change.

A man, feeling his inferiority, takes out helplessness and anger on a woman, which makes her life completely hopeless.

Whether talking with a companion, leaving for another life - everyone chooses for himself. You just need to remember that life is one, and you need to live it so that it is not excruciatingly painful to remember.

So it turns out that when a woman says: "I contain a man," she puts so much meaning into this phrase that there can be no unambiguous judgment or action in this situation.