It Became Boring In A Relationship: Why Did This Happen And What To Change?

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It Became Boring In A Relationship: Why Did This Happen And What To Change?
It Became Boring In A Relationship: Why Did This Happen And What To Change?
Video: It Became Boring In A Relationship: Why Did This Happen And What To Change?
Video: How To Make A Boring Relationship Fun Again | Learn How To Fix A Boring Relationship 2023, February
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boring in a relationship
boring in a relationship

There are many ways to ruin your life. One of the most effective is not so much the selection of the wrong partner for the relationship (after all, everyone has mistakes), as a senseless stay in them. With the hope that maybe tomorrow it will be better, that maybe the wedding will change everything, the child will change everything, and maybe at least a dog like a Chihuahua.

The content of the article

  • 1 What is boredom?
  • 2 Relationships should not stand still
  • 3 Mona Lisa with curlers in her hair
  • 4 Let's go. In any direction

How do you know if a marriage doesn't look the way it should? There are a few things that should make it clear that something is going wrong: he doesn't love her, she doesn't love him, or the relationship is deadlocked and boring. We will focus on the latter.

What is boredom? I

According to the dictionary of the Russian language, boredom is a feeling of despondency caused by the monotony of life. If it is easy to imagine how a person is bored alone, then boredom together is very difficult to imagine. Provided that each of the partners has an IQ level higher than the temperature in the room, then they should be able to find entertainment for themselves, even as simple and obvious as a free and funny conversation.

It does not matter, in the initial phase of the relationship, partners or at the peak, along with intelligence, temperament should also make itself felt - that is, sometimes you can forget about the sublime forms of entertainment, and just, humanly, have sex with each other.

It's not very clear how you can live a boring relationship in general. In those in which people directly admit to themselves and to others that nothing holds them back, and the vision of spending a vacation together seems to them as attractive as the vision of digging a fairly large garden with a fork. Such a relationship makes sense as much as a cross between an aged amoeba and a baby chimpanzee.

Why? Because if someone decides to be in a relationship with another person, it is not only so that from time to time he washed the dishes, but also because there is an interest in each other. In a relationship, it is extremely important to regularly charm each other, regardless of how much has already been passed together.

Naturally, over time, partners begin to recognize each other. Over time, the guy already knows how badly his girlfriend sings, and the girl knows how loudly he snores. But it doesn't have to be some kind of end to the relationship. On the contrary, it can be considered a starting point. And if at this stage it became boring in the relationship, there can be no talk of a joint future.

Getting bored in a relationship
Getting bored in a relationship

Relationships should not stand still2

There is such a good quote from Robert Venzkevich talking about entering a new relationship:

“It’s pointless, because every next union will be the same. Why go through the same thing again? Again these mating dances. And then again the crisis, mass murder. I don't believe in relationships where everything is perfect. If we ourselves do not know everything about ourselves, then how can we know at least something about another person? I would like to meet a woman with whom I could be together, and this is a journey that is not designed for five, ten or fifteen years. I want to be reflected in it, as in a mirror, and while studying it, I want to recognize myself.

I would like to make the relationship with her as complete as possible, to extract from her as much knowledge about myself as possible. If I cheated on my wife, I would never achieve this, because I would repeat the same experience and reach the same point. I have a feeling that the deeper we go into someone, the deeper we go into ourselves, so it's interesting that this opposition works in one direction and the other."

Beautiful, is not it? Exhausting but damn attractive at the same time. And how real. What we are talking about here is curiosity, emotional and spiritual need. And if the partner has ceased to arouse curiosity, then, being with him, you deceive not only him, but also yourself. Yourself, because you think that this will someday change, or with the persistence of a maniac, you constantly tell yourself that this is normal or that it should be so.

Why did the relationship get bored?
Why did the relationship get bored?

And him, because you allow him to believe that everything is all right and that he is one, correct, real. And this is already something that should be called a waste of time - your own and someone else's. And, consequently, a lack of respect. So in relation to another person, as well as in relation to himself.

Mona Lisa with curlers in her hair3

The second kind of curiosity, more mundane, is physical curiosity. Of course, living with each other, people get to know each other from the other side. They learn how a partner looks with oily hair and a plump belly, hears, sees and feels all physiology, from going too loud to the toilet and ending with diarrhea or uncontrolled vomiting.

And that's okay. None of us are jelly and rainbow creatures. But it's still worth keeping yourself in order. And it's not about having impeccable makeup on your face around the clock, showing manners like in the English court, and moving around the house with such grace that you could carry books on the top of your head, but about keeping a certain style.

You can sometimes walk around the house in a light dress or put on a clean T-shirt, and not a smelly and alcoholic T-shirt drenched in sauce, you can remove dirt from under your nails and use deodorant, and throw away a used ear stick or tampon, and not leave it on the kitchen table. No matter how high the feelings are, they can easily break down on the sloppiness and untidiness of partners.

Why it became boring in a relationship with a woman
Why it became boring in a relationship with a woman

Therefore, mutual physical curiosity is also worth cultivating. But not by turning off the light so that the partner does not see cellulite, but such concerns about the body so that you can pass for an attractive person even if you have been living with the same partner for 30 years. And it's nonsense that appearance doesn't matter.

If a person is happy in a relationship, he will try for the sake of his partner. If you start yourself up, it is unlikely that even a loving person will want sex. And this is a direct path to a loss of interest, and it is because of this that one day you can hear from a partner the phrase "I got bored in a relationship." Maintaining interest in yourself is especially important after several years.

No one wants to eat fried potatoes for several years, but if today this potato with vegetables, tomorrow with chicken, and the day after tomorrow with a delicious sauce, this is a completely different matter. Also in relationships. But what if the interest began to disappear?

Let's go. In any direction4

How are first dates going? This is madness. The entire wardrobe is turned upside down, the place has been carefully chosen. It is beautiful and interesting. And glory to those who, despite years of experience, still sometimes indulge in madness. But there are many who arrange excursions along the sofa-refrigerator route, and if they go out somewhere together, then only to the dentist. It is clear that time is short, that finances are sometimes not the same.

Why it became boring in a relationship with a man
Why it became boring in a relationship with a man

But … these are all just excuses. It is not necessary to have a free week and a hundred thousand in your account to arrange a picnic, even outside the city. You do not need to take a vacation or loans to go to the cinema, and at least once, instead of the hundredth repetition of Friends, watch some new, interesting film.

And if, after the first stage of falling in love, sit on your laurels, spend a weekend in Paris, it turns out that the mother's weekend, lace corsets, green face masks and curlers are very repulsive. And nothing binds the partners apart from bills for gas, electricity and water. The only conversations they have is about a purchase or “what to cook for dinner”. Of course, relationships after many years should not drive like a Mercedes S-class to a red traffic light, but they should not drag along like an old runabout.

And yes, a relationship can be compared to a car, because both require fuel to function properly. And if you push and push him, and he still does not move, then who knows - maybe the whole mechanism has broken down? Or maybe only the driver is disappointing?

It is important to remember that boredom does not come from outer space and does not appear in perfectly well-coordinated relationships - partners always bear the blame for it. And if not both, then at least one side.

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