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Video: Persona Non Grata. Your Parents Don't Like Your Boyfriend?
Many anecdotes have been written on this topic, coaches and relationship gurus (of which there have recently become suspiciously many) rubbed their fingers into the blood, giving advice, frantically clicking on the keyboard. And how many literary works and paintings are devoted to this problem!
The content of the article
- 1 Jealousy
- 2 Dark past
- 3 Watch your tongue
- 4 Side view
- 5 Feelings
- 6 Prevent and neutralize
In this article, we will analyze the most popular reasons why "suitors" fall out of favor with their parents. For those who boast of the perfect relationship between a parent and a boyfriend, we also advise not to relax: read this article and learn from other people's mistakes.
Oddly enough, this reason is one of the most common. At the same time, it is not so important how old the grown daughter is - fifteen or twenty-three. Parents cannot come to terms with the fact that their little angel grew up, began to be interested not only in books, but also in boys. Moreover, he spends the night outside the house.
If this is familiar to you, we can only sympathize. But let's take a look at the situation from the parents' side: perhaps you gave them a reason to doubt their own maturity? If you still do not know how to take responsibility, be responsible for your actions and live “one day”, it is possible that your parents do not consider your relationship serious. And they are not ready to spend warm feelings on a temporary hobby.
With responsibility, everything is OK, and have you calculated taxes for the whole family at the age of five? Then the point is in a banal lack of attention to your parents. Until recently, you lived with them under the same roof, they knew all your girlfriends by name, and you trusted the secrets not to your diary, but to your mother.
In this case, gently but firmly explain to your parents that you continue to love and appreciate them (this should be said to your parents as often as possible, believe me), but now you are an adult girl and you want to be loved. And, in the long term, give them pretty grandchildren.
If the parents knew your man in absentia and managed to learn a lot of hard-hitting facts about him, then it will be very difficult to convince them. You can list his outstanding qualities for an infinitely long time, but there will be little sense from this. Let the man correct the situation.
He must prove not by word, but by deed that he has taken the true path, and he takes care of you like the apple of his eye. As if by chance, tell your mom and dad about how he took care of you and cooked chicken broth when you were sick. Or about how he rescues homeless cats. For this, you can add a couple of points to karma.
Everything you need to know when meeting a guy's parents so that they will like them is definitely here.
Watch your tongue3
When complaining to someone about your partner, remember that over time you will cool down and forgive, but people who love you will remember your tears. If you really want to complain to someone about your boyfriend, it is better to call your friend. If you constantly insult your boyfriend in your hearts, say how bad you are with him and wet your pillow with tears, do not be surprised that your parents do not digest him.
Most will not like this item, but we have to include it. Not always mom and dad slander their daughter's boyfriend for nothing. As long as you sit in rose-colored glasses and do not notice the lies, tyranny or indifference of a man, your impartial parents notice everything as well as FBI agents.
You have to think with your own head, of course. But people who sincerely want your well are sometimes worth listening to.
No matter how hard you try to hide negative emotions, putting on a mask of cheerfulness, you will be bored. A mother who, from your youngest, not yet manicured nails, knows all your grimaces and facial expressions, will immediately understand that something is wrong with you. If after a relationship with a man you become withdrawn, irritable and anxious, your parents will immediately blame it on the fact that your boyfriend is a tyrant.
If the reason for this is a problem at work, so tell them about it. And then look at the sweetheart with loving eyes and sincerely smile: let your caring producers understand that this guy serves you as support and support. This is what they want from him.
Prevent and neutralize6
How to prevent a cooling of the relationship between a guy and his potential mother-in-law and father-in-law:
- Even if you do not plan to meet your parents yet, do not dodge questions about him. Otherwise, parental hearts will begin to fill with distrust and anxiety.
- Don't delay getting to know each other. A guy on the run doesn't inspire confidence.
- Tell your parents more often how happy you are with him, how he treats you well and pampers you.
- Prepare responsibly for the first meeting. Both mother and father must be in good spirits.
- Do not squeeze in front of your parents. No matter how liberal their views are, they will not appreciate his hand on your bottom.
- Don't complain about the guy to your parents. Why read above. They will forever remember him as "an asshole who left you alone on a holiday."
- Alcohol can both reduce and dangerously increase the degree of stress.
- If your chosen one has something non-standard views, and your parents are exceptional conservatives, ask your man in advance to save his eloquence for a more suitable occasion.
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