Why Love Faded Away: Hormone Chemistry And Feelings

Researchers argue that all our experiences obey biological laws. Like, our tender feelings are just a play of hormones, created by nature itself. But is it really so? And will former partners be able to answer to themselves the question why love has come to naught?

The content of the article

• 1 Love as a genetic program
• 2 Insidious hormones
• 3 Doomed or Genuine?
• 4 Hormonal dependence
• 5 More than chemistry
• 6 Crisis of three years
• 7 In conclusion

Love as a genetic program

The loving behavior has been developed over millions of years. The fact is that our distant ancestors did not have time for romance. The main goal for the couple was the birth of offspring. This is what made men and women stick together. Having united in pairs, they could protect the child, get food and protect themselves from predators.

In the process of evolution, nature began to help people find a common language. So there was a whole system of chemical reactions that provoke love. Thanks to this state, man and woman were able to look at each other in a new way. They experienced mutual admiration and attraction. However, after three years, this program began to exhaust itself.

Insidious hormones2

An individual's feelings of love are controlled by his brain. He does everything to preserve the human genome. People are obliged to continue their race, and reason compels us to achieve this in the best possible way.

American Helen Fisher studied the nature of love for thirty years, and considered all of its hypostases. Each of them is accompanied by an increase in hormonal levels. Androgens and estrogens are responsible for the feeling of falling in love, dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin are responsible for a stable connection, and oxytocin and vasopressin are responsible for affection.

Doomed or genuine? 3

A thorough study of the human brain during falling in love has helped scientists answer the question of why love dies out. This happens when hormones stop stimulating people's emotional dependence on each other. This usually happens after three years.

Sometimes it comes as a complete surprise. The partners suddenly open their eyes. They see each other without embellishment, and a crisis ensues in the relationship. This is the moment when it becomes clear whether people will stay together or not. And the most important thing is whether they will be happy at the same time. Some experts believe that true love begins with this feeling.

Hormonal dependence4

It is akin to being narcotic. A person ceases to wonder why love is fading away, and begins to simply seek the pleasure of love euphoria. The algorithm is simple. It is formed in the same way as drug addiction. Every time a person is looking for a new object of adoration and experiences the same feelings over and over again. So he comes to success, in our case - to pleasure.

Such people can be understood. Lovers are always in high spirits. They don't sleep, they don't want to eat. This condition is quickly addictive. Men and women strive with all their might to return to it. But "love drugs" get bored quickly. And physical attraction, not supported by feelings, instantly disappears.

More than chemistry5

However, experts do not at all seek to reduce the magical feeling of love to a set of chemical reactions. "Hormonal components" are all just an ancient survival mechanism.

But this is not enough to unravel the nature of mutual attraction. The power of genetics is great, but just as important is personal and social experience. All these factors work together, and it is impossible to understand which of them prevails.

Perhaps, knowledge about the effect of hormones on the body can help us cope with our own emotions, understand what is happening to us. But it does not replace our personal responsibility for what is happening.

Three Years Crisis6

"Love lives for three years" - the French writer Frederic Beigbeder is guilty of creating this myth. This idea has become surprisingly popular. However, biologists and psychologists are categorically against it. They believe that it gives love a mourning veil. In addition, people begin to lose their sense of reality. It seems to them that the weakening of attraction is followed by an inevitable ending, and they stop working on their feelings. The writer himself admits that he was disappointed in personal relationships, so he got a little excited. So do not follow the lead of popular, but fundamentally incorrect stereotypes.

In conclusion7

Curious journalists have asked Helen Fisher more than once about what she thinks about love after she learned the whole story about her. To which she replies very wittily, they say, the dessert does not get worse from the fact that you become aware of its components. On the contrary, you can appreciate and experience all the flavors of the divine treat. The same is in our case.

Why is love fading away? Because the level of hormones in your blood has gone down. But this does not mean that your beloved has changed a lot. Take a look at it with different eyes. Perhaps you have not yet realized how dear he is to you, and there is an exciting story ahead of you that will last a lifetime.